Seven Ways to Make Sharing a Meal With Your Child More Meaningful

I share at least one meal with my children per day. I have read several parenting blogs and magazine articles that speak of its importance. My pediatrician has also mentioned the benefits of it, but the truth is that I do it because that's what my parents did. Family meals are natural and normal for me. A day without a family meal feels lonely.

Here are seven easy tips to make meal time with your family a more pleasant experience.

Only bring up feel good conversation

Did your kid pick the neighbors roses? Did you get cut-off while driving today? Is there a chore your spouse has been avoiding that is starting to really affect you? Did you have a bad day at work?

Now is not the time to talk about it.

You are sharing a meal, you are nourishing your bodies, make the conversation nourishment as well. Making dinner time possible-chastisement time, or complain-about-your-job time, makes dinner a chore.

Thank the people who made this meal possible

Sometimes coming up with positive conversations is not so easy, play a game instead.

When my oldest was younger we used to make a game out of thanking all of the people who made our meal possible. It is a never-ending game, with lots of loops to go into.

The first thank you's are simple. You thank the cook of course, then the person who bought the food, the person who provided the money for the shopping, the grocery store owner, and the cashier, the person who shelved the ingredients, the people who delivered the ingredients, the people who grew and packaged our food, the crop-pickers, the people who put in the irrigation systems at the farms, the people who provide the materials for the irrigation systems...

Your meal will be over before you are done thanking all the people.

(The people who work at the power plants to keep our refrigerators working ...)

Have the food and the diners be the only focus

You aren't really having dinner together if you are watching tv, playing with your phone, or coloring; you are simply occupying the same space.

Give your family your full attention, and expect them to do the same back.

Make everybody a part of the process

Putting a meal together takes some work, spread it out between all the people who will be enjoying the meal.

Make people accountable for different aspects of the meal. You are in charge of drinks. You make the rice. You set the table. Even if the help is "just" getting ingredients out of the refrigerator or helping a sibling wash their hands before eating.

This helps the cook, but it also helps the diners. If you know you aren't going to like the meal, you can easily make yourself in charge of adding something (like rice or a salad) to the meal. This rounds out your plate and makes everyone's meal more delicious.

Have a seating arrangement

Everyone can't sit next to mom, there are only so many window seats, and it feels nice to have a "spot" at the table.

And.

You KNOW who's mess it is. I currently don't have assigned chairs, and I dearly miss them. Assigned chairs means you never have to sit on spaghetti unless you dropped it on the chair yourself...

Be kind about messes and spills

We all spill every once in a while.

Oh, well.

Sometimes, the spills are more annoying than other times, like when the last of the orange juice spills on the plate of the last quesadilla made with the last tortilla, and your kid really wanted to eat it. Still, be gentle about it. Yelling at the kid isn't going to make the kid more careful next time, unless you also help them keep the cups from the edges, add lids to everything, and teach them to be mindful of their bodies. Just be nice.

Have an understanding regarding the food, the cook, and the people eating

Im pretty slack about the rules. My kids tell me when they don't like stuff, sometimes clothes are optional, and I don't force veggies, but I still put them on their plate. Sometimes I keep the onions out of the food because so and so doesn't like it and sometimes I shrug and tell them to pick it out if they don't like it.

This works for us.

When we eat dinner at my mom's house, the rules and expectations are different. They know the difference and follow suit.

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Thank you for reading my blog today. Are there any special ways you make meals special for your family? I would love to hear about them in the comments.