How to Offer A Frazzled Mom Help

in steemiteducation •  last year  (edited)

how to help a disorganized or frazzled mom.jpg

Its easy to lose the balance of your household.

While everything is in rhythm, and everything is contained, running a household is do-able, pleasant, work.

But when they rhythm is lost, running a household can get overwhelming.

And losing the rhythm can be as easy as a kid who was doing their own laundry and didn't finish and then another kid had a bathroom accident, right before you were able to get to the lunch dishes.

You gather all your pee clothes and walk it to the washer (if you're lucky enough to have one) and you find... a washer full of clothes. Its been there at least 14 hours, so you re-run it. Now you have the washer going and a basket full of pee clothes waiting for you. And dishes upstairs. And the pee kid that needs to be cleaned up. And now you're behind.

It can get ugly from there.

This is where help would be awesome. Especially if the mom is a make-up wearer who's kids got into her make-up, again, and there's no room in the budget to buy make-up. Again. Until later...

Don't ask: What can I help you with?

Its a tough question. Are you willing to disinfect the pee bathroom? Are you able to dry clothes, and fold them, and put them away? Its a load full of kid socks and underwear. Can you wash the dishes for me? I don't know how long that cup has been there, I was soaking it... Can you take the kid out for a walk, he hasn't had a bath, his face is dirty, he smells a little like pee and I can't find his socks. Any of them, they are in that pile.

If you are old enough to see this post, you are old enough to see where the help is needed


Take your relationship level with the mom in question, and help there. If you aren't a regular house guest, don't go over to her house!

But if you are. Take the trash out without asking questions like where the outside trash cans are or where the replacement bags are, and if you can, wipe down the cans while you're at it. If you have to ask for assistance or instruction, then help with something else.

Do you know where the dishes go? The help put away the clean dishes. You don't, then do something else!

When stuff gets bad, disorganized moms don't want to have to take the time to instruct someone on how to do a simple task. Really. Especially if you are the husband and live there.

So wipe down those tables and close drawers and become a part of the solution. Don't do something silly like try to organize their junk drawer.

Stick to surface, easy to do, obvious to how cleaning.

You can't sort their mail, but you can wipe the oatmeal off the floor.

If the kids are being rowdy and crazy, as if you can take them for a walk. Be specific, and give a time break so the mom knows exactly what to expect

Can I take the kids to the park, for one hour?

Then she knows they are going to the park, and being gone for one hour.

Don't ask if you need her help putting their shoes on, and getting them in the car, and asking directions for the park, and being nervous about being out with kids.

If you can't put it together enough to get them to a park without asking the frazzled mom for assistance, then play a quiet game instead.

Be mindful when asking if you can take them out for ice-cream or a similar sugary treat. Depending on what they've been eating a bag full of oranges, might be better suited.

Taking the kids to spend energy is ALWAYS helpful. Feeding them sugar. Not so much.

If you are a neighbor or community member

Then you can only really offer help from afar.

Invitations to free, easy to get to events with lots of parking are nice. Coupons and discounts to help make it easy to get out of the house help. And lots of nice smiles and encouragement help.

Don't get mad at the mom because the kid almost ran in the street. Help catch the kid. Then smile at the mom. She just had a scary experience.

If you see the kids acting crazy at the book story, or grocery store. Refrain from giving dirty looks. Just pretend they aren't there, or give the mom a look of solidarity. Don't make her feel judged.

The frazzled mom is a great mom, who just fell a little behind

Help her out by helping her catch up a little. Be like a fairy godmother, or good friend.

Help calm the angst.

Help de-frazzle.

Sometimes just a look of understanding instead of awe or judgement is what she needs.


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Here's to a great mom, great post and great advise.

I especially get so behind when there's a pee accident.

And the best thing if you can't help is stay out of my way and be quiet...

Aw thanks. I was trying not to be too specific on the how of falling behind because there’s a challenge at every stage. Sometimes the reason why you fell behind is more fun, but still, when you need help, you need help.

Remember you always have help from the Lord. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. BTW I am @lovenfreedoms hubby.

Well thanks for stopping by here, and thanks for the message.

This is a fabulous post!
Great tips for anyone who knows a frazzled mom!
Or any mom, really! Some moms are better at hiding the frazzledness than others... ♥

Their eyes stay calm but their brain is doing overtime.

I blink more...

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reest. amiga :D

Gracias 😊

Very good post =)

Thank you

I know how much this feels on mums cos I grow up with mum and First thing she did is trained me how to take care of my siblings, and then how to help her at the kitchen and much more

Your mama sounds like a very lucky woman to have you.

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Love this. Thank you this is a relief to me, being considerate can means a lot to a frazzled mother.

Thanks for stopping by ❤️
I’m glad you enjoyed it.

Don't get mad at the mom because the kid almost ran in the street. Help catch the kid. Then smile at the mom. She just had a scary experience.

If you see the kids acting crazy at the book story, or grocery store. Refrain from giving dirty looks. Just pretend they aren't there, or give the mom a look of solidarity. Don't make her feel judged.

So I'm safely tucking this piece of information away for use when need be. Thanks for sharing this lesson.
When I get back from work there's a kid I usually take an hour lesson and his mom is so up and doing bu5 she fell ill about the same time I did and I guess chores started crawling all over her and I noticed the boys quarters we use became a little dusty.
So when I felt strong enough I shared the cleaning between me and her son and he was so excited to have a space to clean up and the fun part of doing it checking whose part is neater (of course I chose his)
But the look in his mom's eyes like we just lifted a heavy boulder off her, that was worth all the effort.
Moms need to have that nice feeling.

That’s a big above and beyond step you took for that family. Thank you for being you.

A little work and a lot of kindness go a long way.

Very well written and any busy mom will appreciate this. I had a good chuckle at the load full of socks and underwear, that takes forever to sort through and you always end up with unpaired socks. I have a pile of these just laying there waiting for their partner to miraculously appear.

Thanks for finding my post ❤️❤️

Nobody likes to sort little kid socks. Lol.

I feel as though this should say, how to help your frazzled wife. LOL My husband always gives me the deer in headlights look when I'm frazzled. I want to say...just pick one thing to do and do it!!!

“Just pick one thing and do it”

Pretty much sums up the whole post.

Thanks for stopping by ❤️