Sex Class: The Pros and Cons of Sex Ed

While I have had this piece in mind for some time, it was only after finding this incredibly refreshing article, entitled 'Why You Should Buy Your Sons and Daughters Sex Toys' that I decided to go ahead and write this.

No, this is not me bemoaning the state of so-called journalism or arguing that these people ought to get a different job than writing, one more suited to their very limited capacities.

No, something that had been bothering me for a while is – what's the deal with sex ed?

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I don't know how serious this is in the US. Over here, in Romania, I only remember having one such class. Ever. And it wasn't organized by the school per se, but rather some sort of educational visit from a bunch of ladies from the Always company. The hour and a half class about sex wasn't anything special...They showed a video about our bodes hitting puberty and then talked about contraception for a bit. And that was it.
I recall thinking that this whole contraception stuff sounded very hard and hoping that I'd figure it out when the time came.
Looking back, I guess I was lucky not to have gotten any more. Or rather, I think I got the decent amount of sex education that any kid needs. Beyond that, it's going too far.
And some of the things you see and read – such as the above mentioned piece of garbage – are quite astonishing.
Astonishingly wrong.

The basics every kid needs to know

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• Contraception – it's a big deal and I think kids have to know about staying safe. Discussing different methods of contraception, such as the pill or condoms, is healthy for all young people, because they must be aware of the many contraception options out there, both with their respective pros and cons.
  Because no contraception method is perfect, so the more info they have, the easier it will be to choose the one best suited for them, when the time comes.

• Pregnancy – these two go hand-in-hand, naturally. Children need to be educated about this, to know how babies come about. What exactly happens, during sex, that can create a baby. Also, what happens during pregnancy is, I think, an important matter. Because I look around at all these girls my age and I think they're all scared of getting pregnant, but I doubt most of them even know what that entails, how their bodies would change, what are the first signs etc.
  I think pregnancy is vilified and made to be the boogey man by a lot of these sex ed people and I don't really think that's healthy.

• STDs – naturally. They are a big part of the sex world and you need to know about them: HIV, herpes, gonorrhea and the rest. You know the drill, they should be taught exactly what causes these diseases, what factors put them at risk and all that.

But again, sex ed has become an industry and these people are taking it far too far.

Sex is Pleasure

Sure, I'm all for that idea, because sex is a good thing and everyone ought to know that. But this is becoming absurd. I see articles upon articles claiming that sexual education needs to focus on pleasure and on teaching kids that sex can and should be great.

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Well, excuse me, but I'm pretty sure they've figured that out already. You don't see many children quivering with fear at the very mention of sex. No, they're very curious and eager about it, which is natural. We don't live in the Stone Age, young people know most of this stuff – that sex can be fun, that it leads to orgasm, which is rumored to be great and so on.
If you don't believe that, look at how most adolescents and young adults act. They're all eager to jump head-first (sorry not sorry) into the whole sex thing, because their hormones are raging for it and they know sex is pleasurable.
When you watch a movie, any movie, where it's at least implied two characters had sex, you don't see them writhing in pain, afterward. No, they seem quite content. Well, it's a good indicator that this whole sex thing isn't a torment.
The very supposition that the only source of sex information children have is your sex class is naive, at best. Not in the age of internet, baby. See, kids don't need teachers to tell them sex is good and fun, they need you to warn them about the not so fun side.

Hands off masturbation!

Another topic that, to me, shouldn't be included in these sex ed classes. Think about it, tweens and teenagers are already incredibly shy and self-conscious. It's very easy to scare them and tick them off.
Besides, they're most probably masturbating at this point, so no, they really don't need a teacher to unveil the big mystery of self-pleasure.
According to Sigmund Freud, children develop a sense of their sexual pleasure at a very young age. You'll notice that most young kids are very interested in their genitals. Why? Because they – like us – have figured out that touching them in a certain way can be very pleasurable. It's really not a big mystery.

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If they hear a teacher talking to them about masturbation, they will only get more embarrassed and reluctant to talk to you, if they really have a problem. That's the thing with kids, you have to play it cool. If they feel like you're making a big deal about their budding sexuality, they'll shut you out permanently.
Think back to your school days, you would've been mortified if a teacher began talking about your clitoris. I know I would have.

I mean seriously, where do these advocates for masturbation ed live – under a rock? Kids figure out how to create their own pleasure pretty fast. And no, they won't live through years of unsatisfactory sex if you don't teach them about their own bodies – that is a private journey they will have to take.
Teach them about privacy, instead. Might prove more useful, in the long run.

By making sex class such a big thing, you're only putting pressure on kids. It's a class.

A Family Matter

Like many, I believe sex ed would have a much higher chance of succeeding, done in the family. I think it's much more helpful and normal for a parent to talk to their child about contraception and all, than a teacher to do so, in front of the whole class.
First, it builds and strengthens your relationship. Same rules apply though, don't pressure your kid by insisting or you're out.

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Besides, many of the topics these teachers are trying to cover really are just good upbringing. Objectification, same sex marriage (and homophobia), public morality – all really depend on how you raise your child. Because if he sees hatred or abuse (such as beatings) and miserable relationships at home, it really won't matter what the teacher tells him. Example is a very good teacher, especially to the young mind.

In conclusion, regardless if you're a parent or a teacher, talking to a young child about sex, do it with respect and care. Think back to when you were a child and don't go over the limits you wouldn't go over with other adults.
Developing a healthy, respect-based with your child/student is a huge gain for you, both professionally (if you're a teacher) and personally. This will get them to confide in you, over time, and trust you, as a friend. A wiser friend, whom they can ask for advice, but a friend. Not an authority figure to be feared and avoided.

Thank you for reading!