DAD-Chronicals : Latecomers - Living with "late kids" and their older siblings

bembelmaniac (65)in #steemiteducation • 6 years ago

Latecomers - Living with "late kids" and their older siblings

Actually, the family planning is completed, the children are already out of the woods. Why then still a Nesthäkchen finds entry, can have different causes. The fact is that life with the latecomer differs in many ways from the first children. There are several reasons for this.

Sometimes it is a "mistake", sometimes even the biological clock of the woman is ticking again or a new relationship makes the already fulfilled wish for a child flare up again. The decision to "start all over again" has one or two consequences for the parents, but also for the children already living in the house. For the Nesthäkchen itself also offers a very special constellation. Because it not only has parents who love and care for it, but also big siblings who are often already in the babysitter age and can take responsibility for the youngest and want.

Life with the latecomer

Parents who have raised one or more children before, often see another child with very special eyes. They have a wealth of experience, have developed themselves and often see things much more relaxed than in previous years. However, the own claim is greater, not to repeat old mistakes and to do everything right. However, those who do not put pressure on them can enjoy a relaxing time with the child. This includes the older siblings. In general, the whole family fondles and loves the new baby very deeply and gives it attention from many sides - each in its own way.

A life of privileges

Very often, the nesthicks have clear privileges such as loose borders and plenty of space and understanding. The fact that the older children already have fixed tasks and supportive - and also by the most secure financial situation of the parents - have Nesthäkchen easy, feel loved, cared for and protected. This gives these children the confidence they need for later life and the awareness that they deserve whatever they want. However, this loving mothering can turn into its opposite effect. If the latecomer is over-cared for, all the difficult tasks are taken away from him, and a feeling of inadequacy in the child can arise. This, combined with the experience that it still gets everything it wants, can prevent it from seeking its own ways to develop and prove itself. This is all the more true, even if the older siblings join in and indulge the youngest unrestrained.

Great age gap - harmonious sibling relationship

Since children with great age gap do not compete with each other parents, the relationship is often very harmonious. The little ones have puppy protection and are loved and treated with forbearance by their big siblings. Often the elders also take responsibility and play babysitting. Of course, they also help educate and serve as role models. Because toddlers imitate their caregivers and look after some of them. However, there is also the other option, especially when the age difference is only five to seven years. Then the two "single children" can also clash. The parents then end up in a conflict, because they must now meet very different needs.

Just do not lose contact!

Babies are emotional and attract all the attention. This can be problematic, especially when the older siblings are in puberty. Because they then go their own way, make far-reaching decisions, take risks and receive less attention from the parents. Often children need a lot of understanding and attention, which can fall down in the rear because of the family growth. Parents must strive to have an ear to the worries and hardships of the big ones. This is quite easy - because the older siblings are already understanding and can easily wait until a quiet conversation with the parents can be coordinated.

The "latie" as a brake

Not always, however, is the joy of youngest unclouded. At some point, the older children are out of the house after all, leaving behind an only child who is accustomed to much attention from an early age. The parents are faced with well-known topics: school problems, holiday periods, teething troubles - all this can be stressful, because after all, the parents are now no longer 20 or 30, but go in the direction in which one slowly wants a quieter life. To deal with the problems of a pubescent girl in her mid-50s can be annoying! Also, plans for later, for example, again completely new lifestyle or another place will have to wait until the baby has fled.

Did I forget something? Can you think of any more points?
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.