DAD-Chronicals : The path to the ego - this is how children learn to perceive themselves

bembelmaniac (65)in #steemiteducation • 6 years ago

The path to the ego - this is how children learn to perceive themselves

At the beginning of his life, the newborn still feels in unity with his mother. Only gradually does it learn and understand that it is a separate entity with its own room for maneuver.

The more children feel self-contained, the more pronounced their will becomes. Parents can watch this every day with their child. The little ones are getting clearer in what they want. They learn to influence and assert themselves. To experience this is a small miracle, but at times very exhausting - especially when the will of the child and the will of the parents are exactly the opposite.

The consciousness awakens

As long as the baby is swimming in the amniotic fluid and in the first weeks of life it understands as a unit with the mother. By interacting with other people, but also by the temporary spatial separation, it gradually finds that it can control its environment through his behavior. If it smiles, the other person smiles back and shouts, his needs are fulfilled. The baby gets to know the basics of communication and thus also his own behavior. The persons with whom he interacts act as a mirror of his own doing. The more the agility increases, the baby also discovers his body and understands him as something separate and independent, which is subject more and more to his own control.

The will comes before the ego

Long before a child can say "I want", it develops its own ideas of what it needs and wants. This is the case for a long time before the dreaded defiance phase, which starts around the age of two. It has its own ideas and would like to implement them. It acts on its own and regardless of what mom or dad do or want. This self-propulsion is extremely important and goes hand in hand with a boundless curiosity. Only then can a child get to know the world and develop.

The mirror test

The ego development of the child is also called mirror phase. This term was coined by the French analyst Jacques Lacan back in 1936. Whether a child already recognizes itself as an independent ego can be determined with a very simple test: the child is painted a color spot on the forehead - without it noticing it. If the child looks in the mirror and reaches for the forehead in surprise, you can assume that it is already in an advanced stage of ego development. If this is not the case, you do not need to worry for the time being as this stage is reached at the age of six to 18 months. Some children even need a little longer.

I am, so I want

At some point at the beginning of the third year of life, then it is time. The child consciously discovers his ego. However, until it translates this ego experience into language, it may take a while. Among other things, this depends on how you address your child. If you speak of him and of himself often in the third person, it will usually go to the I later. The realization "I am!" Is overwhelming and therefore accompanied by violent feelings and comprehensive learning processes. Your child can now also recognize with the understanding that it has the ability to choose between different possibilities and that it can do things on its own.

This time can be very stressful for parents, because now your child's spirit of discovery is hard to stop and in every way. Whether it is by daring climbing actions to his physical dexterity or that it makes attempts, how fast and intense it can drive you to despair. Everything is tried out and it insists uncompromisingly on the execution of its projects. Now you and your child are in the middle of the defiance phase.

Support and limits

As much as a child's ego development needs parental support, clear rules and limits are just as important right now. Encourage and praise whenever appropriate and give your child a great deal of freedom to try for themselves. On the other hand, consistency and structure are more important than ever. On the one hand, it gives your child the support it needs to develop freely, on the other, it learns to accept authorities and recognize set limits.

What the ego development brings us parents

The ego development is the very first step of detachment from the parents. At the same time, being aware of oneself and being separated creates the understanding that other people have different needs. The more self-awareness grows, the more a child usually understands the needs of the parents and can accept them. Look forward to seeing if your child is no longer on Sunday morning awakens half six and wants to hear a story, but lets you sleep a little longer and deals with his toy.