10 Random Things About Me ... French Forign Legion, Fatherhood & Flatulence
This post is a response to Playing Dress-Up and Other Random Things by the always light-hearted and lovable @mattifer. Matti is the organizer of the upcoming blockchain-wide "Pants-Off, Dance-Off," an initiative that most certainly will go viral and result in a massive influx of new Steemians.
It's also part of the #tenrandomthings challenge in which one discloses 10 Random Things about oneself in an effort to sound interesting and intriguing, prescient and profound. You know ... whale-bait.
And so, without further adieu:
1.) I Have a Brilliant & Beautiful Daughter
Daddy's Girl
I have a brilliant and beautiful 17-year-old daughter named Katie. From the first day she was born, I have loved her with a ferociousness that surprised everyone, including myself. I didn't even want a kid. My affinity for fathering was the greatest surprise of my life.
Katie is her Father's daughter. Our minds are so in sync that we don't need to finish sentences in each other's company, a habit which drives third parties to our conversations absolutely nuts. We are each other's best friend and closest confidante ... and each other's worst tormentor - if you can imagine, she actually has the audacity to edit my poetry.
She now has a boyfriend and so I'm learning to share. My only consolation is that he is almost exactly like me ... a fact that Katie readily admits. And, as he is so much like me ... how could I not like him?
2.) I am a Tutor (Unpaid)
It started in elementary school. A lot of kids don't have a Dad around and so I became everyone's default. Sleepovers turned into helping with homework. Homework became tutoring. And tutoring became Science Fair Projects.
I tutor.
Oh God ... do I tutor.
Sometimes three subjects at once. It has taken years off of my life. Probably decades. Math, English, History, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Philosophy, Politics and, of course, Poetry. And did I mention Science Fair Projects? (Notice the "s" ... plural. Very, very plural.)
Respecting Science Fair Projects, I have a reputation that proceeds me (and it's a lot higher than my Steemit Reputation Score). One teacher actually hid behind a bookshelf (like that would have saved her).
You see, I am a firm believer that for kids to be interested in Science, they must first fall in love with Science. And, in order to fall in love with Science, they must first feel its magic. And, for them to feel its magic, there must be a highly kinetic release of energy. And hence, our laboratory safety equipment includes motorcycle helmets (with visors) and improvised body armor ... normal safety goggles and labcoats are for the uncommitted.
Katie now tutors math as well. She gets paid $15/hr.
In all those years of tutoring, I received one case of Heineken (which I needed) and a centrifuge. It didn't even cover the damages.
3.) We Have No Dining Room
We used to have a Dining Room.
When my Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 8 years ago, Katie and I quickly converted it into a biological and chemical laboratory. We have spent the past 8 years, including all her Science Fair Projects (she now competes at the International Level) investigating the cause, and researching a cure. All throughout High School, she has been enrolled in a class called MaST (Math, Science & Technology), a program unique to her school ... essentially, a 4-year experimental science program.
All either of us ever gets for Christmas and birthday presents is lab equipment.
Straight A's since Kindergarten (all Advanced Classes), a Weighted GPA of 4.74 and more Science Fair wins that I can count. She was invited by the American Chemical Society to present her Alzheimer's-related findings at the University of South Florida ... in Grade 8 (the other eight presenters were grad students in university).
Katie will continue her research next year in university.
4.) French Foreign Legion
As a lad, I spent five years in the French Foreign Legion.
If there is one experience in life that will toughen you up, both inside and out, it's the Legion. If you don't know what the Legion is, have a look.
And yes, we still have those funny hats ... it's called a Kepi Blanc (me on the left).
"So, Mr. Whale ... you think my post is only worth 1% of your upvote.
You adapt to your environment.
5.) Been There
I have lived in, or traveled to, 57 countries.
The only continents I have not visited is Australia and Antarctica. The Legion pumped up that number (we got around), but I also used to manage a couple of hedge funds and that required significant travel as well.
I love traveling and meeting new people and experiencing new cultures. Traveling earns you a PhD in Perspective.
6.) Science & History Guy
I am a science and history guy. All sciences and all histories.
When I was a child and had nothing else to do, I would read the Encyclopedia ... from A-Z. Multiple times. God only knows what I would have done if the Internet had existed back then. I possess an insatiable curiosity about how things work.
One of my favorite subjects is the human brain: Neuroscience; psychology; sociology; hypnosis; behavioral economics; etc. If you're doing something ... I want to know why.
7.) I Love to Cook
If there is a hedonistic pleasure I enjoy above all others, it is good food (including, of course, some good wine to go with it) and fine dining. I love to cook.
8.) I Have No Sense of Smell
I have no sense of smell and have never had one. No one knows why. Science says with no sense of smell, I should have little or no sense of taste, as many of the neurons that process the former also process the latter. And yet, here I am. I actually have a highly elevated sense of taste. Indeed, I can even taste some air-borne odors (it has to be pretty bold ... like cat urine ... which I promise you is not delicious).
Alas, I am undoubtedly the only poet in history who has never been moved to muse by the fragrance of a rose. Of course, I'm probably the only poet in history who has never experienced the fragrance of a fart ... although, I have noticed, that these are only rarely the subject of poetic renderings.
This strikes me as being an artistic oversight, especially considering the sheer banality of much of modern-day poetry. The Fartphobia of the olfactory-privileged. And so, I've decided (right here and now) to make Flatulence the writing prompt for an upcoming Poetry Challenge.
I WILL NEED Sponsors.
9.) I am Old-Fashioned and a Hopeless Romantic
I am the last of the Romantics.
Romance, chivalry and knights in shining armor. And, of course, poetry.
And ... you don't even get to make fun of me for it: See: Random Thing No. 4 above.
"You write ... Poetry!"
"Oh ... you're the Tough Guy ... because you write Python."
The expression is "Warrior-Poet" ... not "Warrior-Programmer."
10.) I Have Famous Ancestors
I'll skip the explanation and just include a poem I wrote for my daughter to remind her from whence we descend, and hence, the standards and values to which we are to be held. It's all part of those old fashioned Romantic Ideals.
From Whence That You Came
1066 … a year we transfix,
In history, no greater of tales,
To claim his birthright, would for it he fight,
His armies, for England, set sail.
William the Conqueror, William the King,
Now close on a thousand years,
And with him they came, great men of great fame,
William, and William his peers.
And of these great men, would history it pen,
One … First Man of our line,
Begin the montage, came Thomas Sauvage,
‘Great knight’ did poets opine.
And so it began, our history of clan,
Dukes and Viscounts and Earls,
A Savage Left Wing, made Tudor the King,
Their banners, Red Roses, unfurled.
So too we Crusades, we drew them our blades,
Shields and lance … Agincourt,
For what you will bleed, that thing it your creed,
BELIEVE … and then it exhort.
Too we in fable, Knights of Round Table,
Dodinas, Pinel and Ba Lin,
All three were they Savage … one family so managed,
Ideals like prey to a talon.
Speaker, the House; a Savage espoused,
A Savage, Archbishop of York,
Of poets the specimen; Alfred, Lord Tennyson,
Men on the road as it forks.
Maternal descent, we made him a gent,
His name, all came to revere,
As great as we’ve been, no greater our kin,
Such man, we call him … Shakespeare.
Soldiers and poets, ancestors bestow it,
Defined, all men by their fights,
As soldiers they die, our poets write why,
From wrong, find strength to be right.
Like history avowed, the past echoes loud,
“Savage” … most noble of names,
Bring not it derision, some men still envision,
Recall … from whence that you came.
11.) Bonus
@mattifer got a bonus so I'm taking one too.
I Self-Identify as Napoleon Bonaparte and my pronouns are Mon Général. And so ... please accept My Truth and address me accordingly.
Quill
I nominate my good buddies @d-pend, @girlbeforemirror and @cryptogee to participate in the #tenrandomthings Challenge.
You guys know the drill. Be verbose ... but articulate.
And remember ...
Go Love A Starving Poet
For God's sake ... they're starving!
Mon Général, I truly enjoyed your post. Your daughter is beautiful and I predict will rule the world one day while she cures everyone from their ailments.
From whence you came... wow!! Shakespeare?? I mean the other ones are cool, but Shakespeare?? No wonder your words are so exquisite.
Your life seems to have been one adventure after another and your family tree is quite impressive. I absolutely loved your poem and wanted to ask about your height. Since you identify as Napoleon Bonaparte... I do believe he was somewhat vertically challenged, right? lol You don't look short but pictures are sometimes deceiving.
You seem to have a terminal inability to post something boring @quillfire. I think it is a reflection of the boring life you have lived thus far.
#steemitbloggers
@reonlouw,
Thanks mate. :-)
I' surprised I have any hair left. The excitement, while making for great stories after-the-fact, was less enamoring while in its midst. You do what you have to do to survive. You don't surrender. So that you don't get slaughtered for the sentiment, you THINK. Brains over brawn ... it's amazing how powerful a tool our brains are ... but only if we actually use them.
Quill
Really fascinating post, Quill! Great to learn a bit about the man behind the legend 😉
That’s really incredible all the stuff about the Alzheimer’s research... that’s a cause that is also near and dear to my heart.
I knew you were into funny hats. I just knew it!
Oh, and what do you have against Australia?
Hahaha your 10 random things made me laugh big time!! Your daughter is very beautiful and smart!!! How you have tutored her all this while? You are such a good dad and educator! Good to know you better through this post, @quillfire :)
#Steemitbloggers
@happycrazycon,
Thanks Hap. She makes me look good.
Quill
Your daughter sounds absolutely delightful, clever and she's lovely. No wonder she's your pride and joy. Your time in the Foreign Legion - made me think of my dad - he would talk about folk who had joined and my husband had interaction with folk who had served when he was in the Rhodesian war.
And that Alzheimer's research. I have no words. It's such a horrible disease. For everyone.
All in all, a fascinating read, and good to know a little more about the person behind @quillfire
@fionasfavourites,
I met a couple of former Rhodesians in the Legion. Good guys. Everything about Rhodesia is, of course, politically charged but there is no doubt that what came after was no better, if not dramatically worse, that what it replaced. Some of South Africa's current problems are reminiscent.
Whenever you indiscriminately tear down an existing political/economic/cultural system, even repugnant ones like Apartheid, there will be consequences. And ideological activists never think them through.
The Abolition of Slavery in the US, with no political/economic/cultural replacement, inarguably resulted in greater impoverishment for African-Americans than did slavery itself. Decolonization of Africa, while morally laudable, resulted in widespread instability and systemic corruption that still cripples the continent. The end of Apartheid in South Africa, and the similar process in Rhodesia, resulted in a brain drain and capital flight from which neither country will ever fully recover.
Ideology, in whatever form, ALWAYS results in poor decision-making because it cripples Critical Thinking.
She is my soul.
Quill
Interesting you say "Former Rhodesions". The husband prefers "Zimbabwean" - he had the dubious pleasure of meeting Mugabe after independence; actually, hosting him at an agricultural show; in Matabeleland. A relatively euphoric time when he and his then wife decided the country and the new regime deserved a chance. With hindsight he has a different view on that war. I have known lots of Rhodesians having been at a university, also named after Rhodes, at which many studied. Lots of good ones. Others, real bad-asses. Many totally f*cked in the head from that war. As were many white South Africans. Including my ex husband. You know what I'm alluding to - your Foreign Legion experience makes you an expert, and good on you for coming out even half way sane.
You are so right about ideology and poor decision-making. History shows it over and over. That said, South Africa is a beautiful country with amazing people and although we have a long, long way to go, and there are HUGE hurdles including the rise of populism, I am more optimistic than I have been since Mandela's inauguration.
Your next visit to Africa - come to the southern most time - we will show you and your daughter a really good time!
With good wine...
@fionasfavourites
Quoting myself:
... including the name. :-)
You're right. The country has so much going for it. Indeed, so does the whole continent. Africa is the most soulful place on the planet.
There's two vexing problems that keep self-inflicting the wounds: Tribalism and corruption. If these two cancers could be materially diminished, the continent would soar.
With all you South African gals continuously posting such criminally delicious looking food and wine ... how is a guy supposed to stay away? :-)
Quill
@haynie and I look forward to that! You don't know what you're in for!
@fionasfavourites & @jaynie
I'm a risk-taker. :-)
Quill
Oh, you should not challenge us! Should he @jaynie?
@fionasfavourites
In the interim, you and @jaynie get together, imbibe, get giggly ... and get cracking on that Whale Tail Stew. Feel free to take some liberties with my recipe.
https://steemit.com/steemit/@quillfire/coming-out-of-the-closet-i-am
Quill
lovely post! so nice to see how proud of your daughter you are! I also have famous ancestors 😂 my father's ancestry is traceable to someone who worked in the gardens at Buckingham Palace LOL!! hehe!
@princessmewmew,
With a username like yours, the nobility becomes implied through repetition. :-)
I have to admit, every time I see your username it makes me laugh ... "Princess Mew Mew."
"Mew" is an unusual verb. What is it with girls and cats?
Quill
What an absolutely stunning and intriguing post! You sound like an amazing man!
@byn
Hi Byn. Thanks.
I was going to throw in "survival skills," as per our convos, but I hit the 10 RT limit and thought two bonuses would sound gratuitous. :-)
Quill
People have been fixated on Napoleon's penis since Napoleon's doctor allegedly cut it off during his autopsy in 1821 and gave it to a priest in Corsica. The penis, which was not properly preserved, has been compared over the years to a piece of leather, a shriveled eel and to beef jerky. In 1927 when it went on display in Manhattan, TIME weighed in, comparing it to a "maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace." It's enough to give anyone a complex! In 1977, a urologist living in New Jersey purchased the modern-day relic for $3,000 and stored it under his bed until he died 30 years later. His daughter inherited Napoleon's penis and has fielded at least one $100,000 offer.
Not sure you knew that. Thought I'd share.
Curious about Alzheimer's, though. I've read anticholinergic medications may contribute, as also heavy metals. Any research you've done lend weight to these theses?
Thanks!
Fascinating read of the morning. :)
Beautiful daughter, they grow up so quick. At 8y.o, one twin daughter already tells me she has a boyfriend...😐. My twins are definitely daddy’s little girls, but I’ve always loved that they adore their dad and are very protective of him. I’m terrible, sometimes I pretend to bully him just to see them get up in arms about it. It’s too funny, they get outraged at his expense, and he loves to hear them tell me off.
And a hopeless romantic? That’s lovely to hear. :)
@linnyplant,
And that's what makes you a great Mom.
The Father-Daughter bond does not come at your expense. It's independent of it. Some Moms I've known are insistent that they should possess the Most Magical relationship with their children and attempt to sideline their husbands.
This is nuts.
Mothering and Fathering are not the same thing. They fill different holes.
I tutor armed with a light sabre (I kid you not). I have no problem with pummeling my students into competence. Effective though it may be, it is not a teaching technique that most women would feel comfortable replicating.
Eventually ... all the kids started showing up with their own light sabres ... purchased for them by their Moms!
And THAT is what Great Moms do. They give their children the unconditional support, and armaments, to withstand ME ... who is going to teach them math no matter how much it hurts. Learning how to adapt to your environment is one of the most important lessons children ever learn. And so, while I taught them quadratic equations, their Moms taught them to defend against the particulars of my tyranny.
Who taught the bigger lesson?
It is precisely those DIFFERENCES in parenting styles that are so valuable to children. Kids take from each parent what they need, when they need it.
Nature knows.
Quill
Eeek! You quoted my very dodgey, terribly typoed comment. Apologies, my first morning read usually means I’m in a rush.
I’m completely against anything but a full partnership in the raising of our children. I interact in real life with more fathers than mothers tbh, so I hear that side a lot. I’ve always found it endearing how doting the ones with daughters are, and quite often strict! For all his over-protectiveness, my husband is a pushover with our girls. He’s basically a slave to our whims, poor man. But he is very much adored by all of us. My kids have sat at the dinner table observing our interaction and adding commentary like:
“Daddy, why did you marry such a bossy lady?”
“Mummy, you need to go to a school where they teach you to be nicer to your husband!”
“I’m not going to be like you mummy, I’m going to be kind to my husband.”
And my favorite:
“Mummy, when I have children, I will get daddy to look after my baby, not you! Daddy is nicer!”
Both my husband and I crack up when they get righteously annoyed at me.
So when he gets grumpy with either girls, which he doesn’t do often because he’s extremely patient, they and I find it quite distressing!
You are right, the differences in parenting styles is valuable in maintaining a healthy balance. It’s is actually me who is the militant one. From when my children were very young, I realized it was the only way I could cope since I never felt like I had enough hands for twins. I would order and march my girls from A to B. Shopping was never an issue, they were little soldiers that needed to stay in line and keep up, or I’d lose them. My husband would complain they acted up with him, but that’s because our girls knew they could. They ate a bit of everything when Mum was at the table, and they didn’t so much with dad, and so it goes on. But my lack of compromise is balanced by his patience and tolerance.
However, I’m the more expressive parent in the show of love, hugs, kisses, and compliments are thrown around like confetti in our household. I understand the nature of my girls and can easily respond to their emotional needs. He isn’t as good with spontaneous encouragement, but he makes a point of being consistent, steady and available. He hugs them and tells them he loves them every night. He always takes the time to comprehensively answer their questions. He gives them a bit more time to finish up what they’re doing. Me, I’m just impatient.
I don’t believe a mother’s relationship is any more magical than that of the father’s. They are different, and if we love our children, we should always consider what would give them the best outcome in achieving the best they could be. I’m grateful he’s dedicated and enjoys his role as father to our children, and that he’s an unfailing source of love and protection. Not that we should compare, but I would not resent my kids preferring their dad over me. I would pick him over me too. I feel he’s earned that devotion. We’re all a fan of dad in our household. Hehehe
If anything, I feel wives should make a point in telling their husbands they are doing a great job, but nothing beats the kids validating this. :)