i have deep seeded disagreements that lead to strife and misunderstandings often (if we let them) with one of my family members. for years i didn't go out of my way to talk to him, or kept it on the surface if i did.... for me, i have learned that we cannot change others and sometimes it's best just not to get into the conversations that cause the hurt, pain and disagreements. we don't have to open up to everyone about our true feelings/thoughts and we certainly don't have to entertain theirs. it's difficult wanting a certain type of experience in relationship and the feeling of settling for what is actually there, but it seems like making due with what you have is sometimes the only option. for me, it was also just a large part about becoming myself and choosing my responses/who i want to be. great post!