Oh @jaynie I can so relate with your frustrations as my husband and I have had to deal with this type of situation on more than one occasion and it is emotionally draining and upsetting. I can just feel how frustrated you must be. From my own experience its almost always due to the teacher, either not being experienced enough, not caring enough or that they have picked out your child as he is not following the herd.

Approaching the principal is the best way to resolve it and I hope in your situation that it is fruitful. I've always experienced that they tend to stick together and find everything else to blame. Go hard on them and then the teacher will, unfortunately, find someone else's child to pick on.

Just stand by him and stick up for him. It's shocking how children are treated by some teachers and for my own son resulted in so many anxieties that he didn't have to begin with. But he knows that we always had his back.

Your approach of that it is their responsibility to manage his behavior is spot on. I always used to tell them that from my side as a parent I am doing everything that I can to support you. When he's in your classroom it is your responsibility to manage his behavior.

All the best for the meeting and try not shout too loud ;) I'll be thinking of you xxxx.