Beards of Steemit, Unite! Battle of the Beards!

@necromortis is currently hosting a competition in search of the most epic #steemitbeards

Unfortunately so distinct an individual, on account of my beard, and fear of selfies, I had to participate in this contest. New year, new me, and all that. This one isn't afraid of selfies any more.

I present to you, my #steemitbeard

Let me tell you about my beard.

Some quick facts:

• I get approached by strangers on the street with requests for them to stroke my beard.
• One beard hairs contains enough of ambrosia that it can cure all ailments known to man.
• Its been growing for four years, and regularly gets trimmed.
• It has gotten caught in doors, seatbelts, and windows.
• Eating soup is impossible, and disgusting.
• Beards such as this ruin meals like noodles, pasta and other things.
• It is a great conversation starter.
• It is luscious, clean and soft, like a baby kitten's fur.
• Grey bits are developing and soon I'll be an actual fucking wizard.
• It and I, look remarkably like a professional sportsperson, only without the cardio-vascular ability and strength, mobility, and flexibility.

See the below for a comparison.

A #steemitbeard isn't all about looking fierce, never giving up, and always fighting for what you believe in. It is also a source of comfort and warmth, evidenced by the fact that I have never once worn a scarf in my life, nor will I ever need such a fickle, useless piece of attire.

Others are often enraptured by my beard, see the prime exhibit, a, my cat, Mia:

The @holoz0r beard is also adaptable to the corporate life, fitting in well with the collared shirts of society, absent of satire, fun, and inappropriate jokes. The #steemitbeard is a versatile social, fashion, and disguise device, allowing me to seamlessly blend into crowds at heavy metal concerts. My beard doesn't have a name.

Thank you for reading, and don't forget, mine is the best #steemitbeard