Dear Steemit, When Does One Give Up?
image by Karen_Nadinefrom Source under CC0 licenseLiterally, I'm writing this post with tears steaming down my eyes. It's almost 2am and I have to be up for work at 6am. So why not just spend this sleepless night posting here.
Over 4 months here of working my arse off, still nothing. If not for a few curated posts, I wouldn't have a substantial Steem Power. And until now, I couldn't even reach to an SP to have a slider. It feels like a dream that will take another 4 months at the rate or my growth. I think I have to stop dreaming I'll even become a dolphin here. What more a whale. What kind of illusions have gotten into my head to even think I'll reach that!
Burn Out
I am burnt out. I have called in sick a few times at work due to sleeplessness working here in Steemit. I am doing a shitty job where I am getting paid to do better here in Steemit where I only get cents to a dollar.
When do I stop?
I don't know what's the standard timeline one has to take to see all the unfairness here. To remind oneself- don't feel entitled, you don't deserve to earn, just keep killing yourself for free. And at times I really want to kill myself literally but I am a coward to do that. Looks like nothing I do in life ever succeeds. An unfinished masters' thesis (thanks to the ER of my employer who declined my data gathering request last minute after all regional heads have approved it and after spending 1 year for the proposal!), ended relationships (I am literally alone and have no more family or friends), a dead end career, an illness that won't get cured....I want to stop listing o...I hate my life...
Before You Judge Me, Know that I Have Tried Everything I Can
- Post
- Comment a million times (aka engage)
- Mod
- Chat
- Discord
- Curate and now a real curation team
- Support People
- Chat with people even if I feel totured because I can sense that I am not welcome, I am not cool enough and some don't like me
- Be Present all the time
- Grow Organic
- Build Connections
- Repeat all of the above
And these are getting me nowhere.
And I see a lot of High Quality Content Creators go nowhere too while the same people are upvoted by the whales. It's a cruel world.
Goodnight.
PS.
I see all the push to promote Steemit and get more people in. But have you also thought of RETENTION?
Oh well, I really have to sleep, it's 2.41am and this is the quickest post I have ever done!
I feel you. I had this same crisis about a month ago. I told a couple of people in a community that I am closed with that I feel that I have hit a wall in terms of quality.
Aside from a couple of curie and OCD votes most of my posts don't do well and I do up to 6 hours or more of writing posts, commenting and engaging. Not to mention being in some discord communities.
So we both have done a lot of being engaged, curate, mod and generally try to be a good person in Steem but doesn't necessarily translate into votes.
So many times I have also asked myself if all the countless hours that I have spent here is worth it as I don't see myself as being able to live off it. I am nowhere near my hope of being a digital homesteader that I can live through what I earn in Steem.
Some days I am lucky, most days I am not and I get you.
I get your frustration and how seemingly it is unfair that a lot of content creators are just slipping through the cracks and that there are some people who seemingly get all the votes.
I have been to that rabbit hole myself of questioning. If you rememeber one of the Steemsecrets of not guessing why a whale votes on certain stuff and not on others try to listen to it again.
Don't focus too much on the bad things, try to focus on the good things that you bring.
I don't ever think that you are boring, or not interesting. In fact I actively follow you and reading your thoughts right now makes me want to send you a virtual hug and some positivity.
I don't have a big amount as I am often depressed but what I have I freely share with you.
If you need someone to talk to I am always online in Discord. Talk to me. Let a stranger hear you out.
It's not just me, I see other people who are contributing and are good citizens of this platform but are not getting recognized. Then you see whales voting on the same people (and other issues here), but as you say I have to remind myself of the steemsecrets as to why whales vote on such posts. But seeing these, not only my posts, got me thinking whether I should put my hopes here. We both have dreams here and I am not sure if this is the right place for me to work and achieve those dreams.
I have treated this like a job, not because I expect a payment, but because I have worked hard and responsibly like most people here. That comes with the hope that someday it will be rewarded or that it will lead to something good. But someone just told me I have the wrong reasons for being here. This is just supposed to be a hobby, but I have no time for a hobby. I need an opportunity and I thought this was the right place.
Thank you for your encouragement and understanding. I wish you have recovered from that crisis or you're on your way to that. I might see you around discord when I drop by the newbieresteemday server.
Don't give up but don't get burned out.
Steem is an incredible chance, it's still young and fresh and you're still an early adapter. But the way how it's set up, it's hard to break through. Since December 2017 you've come a long way, you've connected with some incredible people (hello!!!) and it only has been 5 month!!!
Also, how long have you been using Facebook, Instagram, Twitter? At the end for nothing! But instead you've made a big cooperation even richer. But now is your chance!
But I feel what you say about burnout! I feel it too BUT the hopes I have and the chances I see with Steemit gets me going.
The community has your back! And if you need to take a break, take a break from Steemit. That's the beautiful thing of platform, you're in control.
Thank you for the encouragement and reminder. I am discouraged at the moment but I don't want to give up because I have a lot of hope here when I started. Like you, that's what got me going but maybe time to recharge that hope because I might lose it. I guess the issues in this platform have affected me too. It is really a journey and one has to fight the setbacks, because they will come. And I agree, other platforms will get me nowhere and at least in Steemit, there are possibilities. And I still think this is the future. But the future has just become blurry to me at the moment. I need to clear my head to see it better.
I am glad I have the community and you guys to support me here. Happy I met incredible people like you here! I really appreciate it.
I agree with @for91days do not give up I know it is not easy keep going with what you are doing! I would say that here I learn to something new interesting and useful thanks to the community including both of you :)
And the learning process with Steemit will never end. Just imagine where Steemit will be in a year from now! We're very much loocking forward to the SMT Implementation.
Thank you @philfreetotravel and @for91days I heard the SMT will be good for the communities so that's something to look forward to. Thanks for the support. Happy to have this community!
Understand the feeling. Perhaps take a few days off and re-calibrate. There are more important things in life than Steemit, and we should get our priorities right! I needed to see this and remind myself of this too, so thank you!
Thank you for that advice. I guess months of non-stop Steem-related activities has its effects and I may need a break. I just need to find the right time to take that break because I have taken responsibilities that I can't just leave.
Thanks for the reminder too! I need to find a life outside Steemit. Admittedly, I really don't have a life outside Steemit since I got depressed last year. And I have to work on that.
I would say don't look at the money here. If your here for the money quit. Only the #$%^%@&! whales get lots of money here.
If your here to build friendships, support groups, and a new way of life that doesn't look at Nationalities then stay and be filled with the love that is available here.
This place is not good for making money. My nanay and tatay have only spent money to get sp here. All the sp we have as a family we bought we didnt earn it. We are here for the future. That is why I call myself@futurefarmers. We believe in this place making the future a better world to live in. For that reason we are here and investing our time and our money.
I'm not here just for the money. I did enjoy my time making friends and doing all these activities. I have communities here that I enjoy being a part of.
But I won't deny that I also spent a lot of time here instead of doing my part time job because I have hopes and dreams that I thought I might reach through this platform. But I just don't see it going that way anymore since I see all the issues here and the behavior of some whales to just upvote on the same people regardless of their content. And I see people who have worked hard on their content and just get cents.
You're not the first one who told me to quit if I'm here for the money. Someone told me it should only be a hobby but I do not have time for a hobby. I need an opportunity to have a better life.
And you are right, this place is not good for making money. Only if you are lucky or you have a whale friend. I still think there's a future here though and I still want to be part of it even if those whales ignore us.
Thank you for these @nanocheeze And I agree with Sam
Hey @wanderlass! Just checking out your profile as we were reminded today (through a mention on Sndbox's post) about the Sndbox contest and we were looking through the winners that made it through with us from the 'Travel, Food and Homesteading' quest. Then this post caught our attention. We feel where you are coming from and we have been close to being burnt out and even struggled for three days after coming back from a holiday to write a blog post. Yet, keep on being persistent and remember you're in the Final Quest for Sndbox summer camp, that's an achievement! If you make it to the summer camp, that will open doors answering can you opportunities. Give this platform more time and chances. We know the retention rate is an issue and many Steemians that we connected with in our first week (that joined at the same time) gave up between a month to two month's ago (lasting 2-4 months). We know you are heavily involved as we are on that Steemit Traveller Discord group and see you there as a Mod plus you have other communities and connections. We're here like other Steemians that care for you if times get tough. As For91Days suggested, take some time off Steemit if you need. We might at the end of the summer (Aug/Sept); partly to enjoy our holidays, but also as a detox from social media. Keep in touch 😊
Thank you very much for your encouragement @travelling-two. I appreciate your concern. I'm happy that we have a real community here that support each other in times like this. It's sad that some people have left, I also know some who have stopped posting so the 2-4 months that you said there seems to be the average, at least in our circle.
Thanks for the reminder about Sndbox, that's a good motivation too to keep going. I hope you two take care not to get burnt out. And I like your idea of a detox from social media. I have left Facebook a year ago to detox from the negativities there. But Steemit is social media top although much better. I will find time for that. Thank you again! :)
No worries at all @wanderlass! Keep going and we're sure we would have burnt out earlier if we weren't a duo.
See how you feel after the Sndbox Final Quest, but taking a break is not giving up. It will give you focus on what really matters to you. We did cut out some habits from our lives after coming back from 2 weeks without WiFi in Ethiopia and then we joined Steemit, which added and is eating more of our free time, so we need to reassess and figure out what we can give and what we can get out of it. :)
Aside from the break, I like your idea of re-assessment :) Good luck to us on the next Sndbox quest!