Steemit 'Spot The Truths' Contest! 50 SBD To Be Won! *Edit: Winner Chosen*steemCreated with Sketch.

in steemit •  9 months ago

Contest Rules

In this piece I've hidden some truths buried under a mountain of bullshit. One lucky person to spot at least 3 truths will win 50 SBD! The winner will be chosen by me; I'll favor answers that are short and funny and reserve ultimate decision and interpretation rights.

Edit: Winner is @howtostartablog, congrats! I've upvoted his answer up a bit and it should be the first reply

Steemit Spot The Truths

'Steemit' is an anagram of the Chinese word for 'DDOS'. The project was created when visionary founders Ned Scott and Dan Larimer discovered a way to bring blockchain to the masses when they realized the online world was missing the one thing everyone wanted: a place where you can easily find homesteading tips alongside investment advice written by people with learning disabilities. With this design in mind, they quickly made a fork of the popular matchmaking app Grindr, and voila! Steemit was born.

The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders rocketed Steem up the CoinMarketCap.com charts to #1. And there, it remained until 4 months ago when Steemit superstar trafalgar took some time off from the platform due to being inundated by unsolicited romantic advances from the likes of sweetsssj, soldier and allasyummyfood; his absence alone sending the value of the token spiraling down shit's creek.

Steem also boasts notable technical achievements including a lightning fast delegated proof-of-stake blockchain system which, to date, has never been successfully hacked except for that one time in 2016 when somebody had bothered to try. Things couldn't have looked better for the project.

However, in March 2017, Dan Larimer suddenly announced his resignation from Steemit Inc., citing his own inability to trust anyone with a first name for a last name to be primarily responsible for his decision to leave. Steemit CEO Ned Scott insists the break up was amicable, and maintains that his master password 'Ch0K3OnMyNut$D@n' was randomly generated by the system through sheer coincidence. While most of us lament the departure of our former CTO, the Chinese and Korean communities have since expressed a sense of relief in his absence, noting that they had always struggled to tell the two apart.

neddan.jpg
Image from The Tatiana Show Interview

The platform itself is also not without its controversy. Left handed people find it far more difficult to succeed on Steemit due to their reduced capacity to masturbate the guy to their right while standing in the formation of a circle. 'Try as I might, I just can't satisfy them as much when they're on my right' complained left handed Steemian hanshotfirst, who has asked to not have his username revealed. On an unrelated note, fun fact: kingscrown was born with two right hands.

Some have raised concerns about the caliber of the writing here being so high it actually detracts from the experience of reading articles from anywhere else. 'I don't know if I could ever pick up the 'The New York Times' or 'The Economist' again,' said popular Steemian kevinwong, 'it's just so hard going back to pieces that don't read like they've been google translated from English to Norwegian, then back into English again.'

Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves. However, they are reluctant to call these offenders out by name in fear of the very very very real threat of being targeted and downvoted to oblivion in petty retribution.



IMG_20171102_232422.jpg

Hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing. I didn't give anyone mentioned a heads up, I'm just hoping you all have a sense of humor about these things :) Bullshit aside I really enjoy Steemit and think it has a really bright future. I regret not being able to attend Steemfest and hope those of you there are having a wonderful time. Steem on boys and girls!

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And here's me trying to figure out if this really is a contest.

Just in case, here's 10 truths:

  1. You're Asian
  2. Steem went down after your hiatus
  3. Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves. However, they are reluctant to call these offenders out by name in fear of the very very very real threat of being targeted and downvoted to oblivion in petty retribution.

  4. investment advice written by people with learning disabilities.

  5. Left handed people find it far more difficult to succeed on Steemit due to their reduced capacity to masturbate the guy to their right while standing in the formation of a circle.

  6. I can't find 10 truths.
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I've chosen this to be the winner!
You'll get 50 sbd in a few minutes unless i misspell your name :)

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I love you

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Whoa thanks! Just the right amount for a new PS4 game.

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@howtostartablog,

Well done This was really seriously funny....esp. 1. & 6. My fingers have already click on follow you before I can even recall instructed them todoso.

@trafalgar,

Good choice. Still I call for a revote, you can't call it yet until day 6th at least ;-p
Yes, I have nothing better todo than give you a hard time.....sorry I can't help judging judges.

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Woah Nice ! :)

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lol that answer's definitely a contender :)

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Up-Vote for applying year 3 math = 2 x 3best truth = 6

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Legit.

I found 3 truths. But I dare not give it back. lol **

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hahaha :) hopefully the big guys on here can take a joke

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yes....haha****

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Let me summarize: first you animate your readers to tattle about the "big guys" and thus put them at risk of being flagged ... and then you just hope these "big guys can take a joke" ... You know: it's so easy to "hope" anything, haha. You are a big guy, too, wouldn't it be your duty to defend your readers when it matters? Will you have enough sense of honor and guts? Or would you prefer to stay in your own 'circle' instead? :-)))

Ok, I hope you can take a joke, too. :-) It was a real pleasure to read about all these left- and (double) right-handed people. Please, keep writing (also long articles).

First truth.

The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders rocketed Steem up the CoinMarketCap.com

The brown nosing of whales seen here can be epic!

Second truth.

While most of us lament the departure of our former CTO, the Chinese and Korean communities have since expressed a sense of relief in his absence, noting that they had always struggled to tell the two apart.

Yep, these dudes all look the same to me too!

Third truth.

Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves. However, they are reluctant to call these offenders out by name in fear of the very very very real threat of being targeted and downvoted to oblivion in petty retribution.

Yes, sharing the wealth is evil and should be discouraged. How dare you be philanthropic!

Hilarious as always. Big kiss on the arse for you. 😂

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haha thanks a lot
good answers, a contender for the 50 sbd here :)

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Bah! Get away. I want to win.

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Are you not getting tired of winning everything yet?
Come on Choo Choo, give someone else a chance. 😉

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Oi. I only win stuff for minnows. I've not actually won anything for myself.

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Damn, how do I get my heart to stop bleeding? 😂
If I was going to write a betting book on this I'd have you as heavy favourite, you've got some weird juju working for ya babe. 😉

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🖕 😠

Me. At your heart bleeding comment.

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😂😂😂

This is the best summary of what Steem is.

I think it should be the landing page.

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i'm glad to read you say this teamsteem.

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I'm glad you enjoyed my reply. Traf is a great comedy genius or he simply found one on Fiverr.

But he looks like a genius and so I think he's the real deal.

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Ha, was thinking the same! 😉

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hahaha thanks
yes, now we're talking :)

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Mmmm.... I am seeing a pattern here listening to all you whales and dolphins.

Why is upvote, downvote, witness vote all dependent 'only' on the amount of steem one owns?
Should there not also be value if there was say 5,000 minnow with 1 steem voting, something that gives a multiple that is mildly logarithmic for manual key votes (put a key icon everyone can click on next to the upvote button where key votes means that said user have not key-voted more than 10 time in the last 24hours & have not key-voted for same account more than once in last 24 hours - so this vote factor is not wealth dependent), like if 1000 key votes = x1.1 payout, 10,000 key votes = x10, 100,000 key votes=x20, 1,000,000 key votes=x40 steem payout. This is a more fairly based meritocratic proof of effort system....and not just wealth based - founders, early investors, and whales-ques only system.

Well ok, maybe not such a strong multiple, but something like 100x1.001, then x1.01, x1.1, x2, x4, x8, etc...

Just a thought.....those who invested in steem should count (I agree), but why should 'only' the wealthy count if we want 1 billion people to all benefit from steem, why not the multitudes with minimal (assuming that it cost 10Steem to create each account and increasing), don't they also add great value?

Last I check, a millionaire (future of a dolphin), a billionaire (future of a whale), and a minow (minimum wage earner) all took the same 10 minutes to read that post.

And they all can't get the same 10 minutes of life back....everyone voice should be counted and weighted somehow.

Note Facebroke was first used for political good aka 3rd world country revolution & perhaps even Obama campaign (not that I am in support of but majority support was organic and not bought), then wealth and profit came in and it became a serious form of corruption of media manipulation (think Trump and Russian fake news)

We need a hardfork to carry the voice of the people. Can someone with >100K Steem please tell ceo @ned and cto @sneak ....get my point?

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Up-Voted....for Truth in Jest.....but now I am a little concern and not sure if I want to invest serious shekels long term into steem if it was not really design for the masses/mainstream.

A discussion could be made if this is a serious invisible flaw in the current proof of work reward system.....OR not.....just my .02 cents of steem.

Today I wrote to a whale and I said this:

I want to support witnesses that support good ideas from minnows (because even if you don't get millions of steem easily from us you can get million dollar ideas from a minnow)

https://steemit.com/raspberrypi/@themarkymark/building-a-portable-game-console#@dj123/re-themarkymark-building-a-portable-game-console-20171104t030416574z

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Definitely appreciate your quality effort with that other post, but you probably want make these types of comments their own post and use the Markdown Styling Guide to format it a little bit so it catches more eyes. It's hard to expect people to read every word when there's info overload on this platform. My attention span only goes as far as one-liners lately!

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Just brain dumps....I'm possibly pessimistic, then again a millennium from now archaeological time-travelers will say if only @ned did something then 50 years from now steem will be $100,000 but alas he didn't, and popo-coin implemented a fair social proof of brain and got there first.

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Up-Voted - Love you feedbacks (yes I read all 3 edits)....I will attempt to implement one-liners, does not work when I try to pickup handsome folks, but who knows on steemit, besides I'm an experimenter.

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A very clever writer though. Keep bringing your A-game, but start networking and developing some followers to help that pay off.

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Good effort on this here, but definitely in the wrong forum. Try posting on blog your thoughts on other blog discussions where the audience is more fitting to get some attention. I don't think a post about left handed masturbation capacity will get you heard much.

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Agreed @steemmatt, I need to find the right handed forum where @ned, @sneak, and all the other orcas and whales hangout. If come across the spot where they do all their secret right-handshakes, point me there and I will furiously reply away :-)

Anyways did you see my reply to @stellabella's post? I cleaned it up a little so it looks post-ques and yet done in the spirit to support the main poster, hope it brings enough A-game to smack a smirk-ish grin on your face:

https://steemit.com/deathspiral/@stellabelle/is-steemit-in-an-economic-and-social-suicide-death-spiral#@dj123/re-stellabelle-is-steemit-in-an-economic-and-social-suicide-death-spiral-20171106t234113550z

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Most whales give more than they receive if not all whales. None of the whales are in the best paid authors.

Votes should be proportional to how much Steem someone holds no matter how much they own, as things are.

I invite you to argue otherwise in a post if you feel like it.

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this is your best line:

The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders rocketed Steem up the CoinMarketCap.com charts to #1.

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haha thanks stellabelle, hope you're doing well :)

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my next question: why only a lousy 50 SBD?

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lol mostly cos I can do the joke in the last paragraph
but also because I'm no where near as popular as I use to be and don't make anywhere near as much from my posts :)

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you're almost at $100, which i have not seen in my payouts for a while. Why do you think i'm making STEEM GIFs for people now? i don't have a side hustle......haha I'm giving you a hard time...:)

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haha not at all
it's mostly so I could run that self aware joke in the last paragraph as well

It was just a bit of fun, not meant to be a real contest :)

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considering you self-upvote like me, you just proved that you're going to hit trending...

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hmm I haven't hit trending since returning
might never be able to
I burn out really easily
trying to push for short content on here too, I feel that they're more likely to go viral and be better for the platform overall
A website filled solely with long winded but rushed writing isn't ideal imo

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the rich can afford to burn out....

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the rate at which steem price is going I wouldn't be surprised to see Ned on food stamps in a months time :)

but yeah it's sorta true, it takes me maybe an entire day to write one of these things, I probably wouldn't for the money alone, I get a kick out of it I suppose

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First of all: your long articles deserve to be trending in my opinion.

And I have to admit I am happy for every long article I can find here (if it's well written). Anyway the site is full of memes, one-image-'articles' and jokes.

Finally it's a matter of taste and of course writing short posts (plus upvoting them) is an ideal method to earn more within a shorter timescale and in addition it can be very entertaining.

Altogether I doubt that the 'circles', you described very well in your article (in case one has not enough 'circle-friends' instead of that socket puppets will do the job) as well as extensive direct self-voting lead to a communicative platform which attracts new investors and thus leads to an increasing Steem price.

Even if I profit myself (short-term) from the current system I would try to make extensive self-voting respectively using multiple accounts or being a 'circle-member' less attractive by the idea of diminishing returns.
In my article I explained it like this: "How about if after each vote on a specific account (including ones own account) each further vote on the same account would lead to significantly less curation reward for the voter and less profit for the upvoted account? Thus, when upvoting an account which I had already upvoted before, my voting power would be smaller than in case I upvote an account which I didn't upvote before."

I wonder what you think about that idea and hope this text was not too long now ... :-)

How dare you besmirch my reputation?! I have never left anyone “unsatisfied”! I demand satisfaction! Resmirch my reputation immediately or meet me out back for the dance battle of your lifetime (or whatever else happens back there).

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haha yes, you've never 'left' anyone unsatisfied, which is exactly what I stated :)

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Seriously though you make this place more fun. Keep bringing the fun!

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haha thanks
any good comedy writers pop up while I was gone?

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Sadly no. But I really think this short form humor could be exactly what we need to get it started. It is tough to write long, funny pieces. Many people won't do it for $1. But $1 for a quick funny "zap" (or whatever we end up with) would be seen as AMAZING! I tried to start a project encouraging humor but I didn't have enough SP to get it off the ground. But if I only need a few quarters to encourage people, I might be able to pull it off.

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I entirely agree, was going to write an article about it, maybe i'll do it in a week or so

basically the sunk cost to producing long articles is too high to onboard new talent. nor is it chance that almost all viral content is short. on a platform like this there's far less lag in discovering clever ppl if the content is short

because of how rewards work ppl feel compelled to push out long articles as they generally indicate effort. except they're also incentivized to do it at a high frequency so you get long winded rubbish.

also, the idea that original high quality short content is somehow effortless to produce is categorically untrue. as with everything it requires talent and is mentally taxing

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Exactly! It is much better to have funny people concentrating on the punchline rather than trying to find a way to stretch a joke into 800 words.

Bullshit aside I really enjoy Steemit and think it has a really bright future.

Hiding the truth out in the open after the main body of the post was devilishly clever.

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haha thinking laterally, I like it

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I actually I got worried at that point...

Otacon...are you there?!..

"people with learning disabilities." Technically accurate- I am one of these according to my peers- And by "peers" I mean parents.

"'Try as I might, I just can't satisfy them as much when they're on my right'" True- When the circle jerk of trust is broken, There's no one left to use your tears as lube.

fun fact: Everyone should take note of the fun fact buried somewhere in this post.

"running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize" In fact this is all I am capable of. However, what is this popularity thing you speak of?

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haha i'll pick a winner today
this is a contender

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Good stuff man!

I'm glad you're back. Steemit inc should hire you to be the star comedian show host.

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haha thanks a lot for saying so, you're too kind

Hello @trafalgar here are some truth in your context.

This is so true

a place where you can easily find homesteading tips alongside investment advice written by people with learning disabilities

  1. This is like the bedrock of everything

The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders

  1. This got my ribs cracking

The platform itself is also not without its controversy. Left handed people find it far more difficult to succeed on Steemit due to their reduced capacity to masturbate the guy to their right while standing in the formation of a circle.

lmao

Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves.

The sad truth

they are reluctant to call these offenders out by name in fear of the very very very real threat of being targeted and downvoted to oblivion in petty retribution.

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thanks, a contender
will announce winner soonish

Lol absolutely hilarious.. very illuminating piece and jampacked with truth just like every other stuff found on the internet! And is that a picture of @traf jerking something off while signalling for an upvote? Haha great smile buddy :) Just only found time to read steemit stuff after spending all day at steemfest reading The Economist online :p

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hahaha thanks kevin, glad you enjoyed it
just wanted to give some regular steemians are shoutout, hope you don't mind
only hanshotfirst was at the ass end of the joke here tho haha, you came out ok :)


OMG! it's been months since the last time I saw one of your post, I'm very happy to see you posting again :D and I REALLY mean it, I love your writing style so funny, edgy and unapologetic, also on Steemit a lot of the times comments and post feel fake to me, because of all the ass kissing going on, but I think you are real and honest, I hope to see more of your post :D

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thanks a lot, you're too kind to say, I'm glad you enjoyed it

@trafalgar is sic

Really all the whales and dolphines must consider resteeming this dope post to all followers to simultaneously uplift steem price and generate massive good will by releasing spikes of endorphins & serotonin to all faithful followers.

Multiple choice of why whale/dolpine has yet to resteem:

A. The shame due to popularity exploitation from past offerings of prestigious pissy prizes of 50SBD has emotionally overwhelm you.

B. You sincerely care that minnow's ability (in both quantity and quality) to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders does not get affected.

C. You realise Traf is onto something and must kidnap him and clone to produce many minions...oh I mean minnows of bloggers to feed your desire for world domination.

D. All of The Above.

If you answered A, B, C, D, E, F, G....or Z. You better undo some juju karma and share immediately.

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Minnows with >100 Followers Unite!....ReSteem this Shit till we have 10,000 votes of some historically serious # recorded in steem's to perpetuity. You know you'll someday want todo a throw back to Nov 2017 and chuckle stupidly with all your new found steem friends.

I have naught....zip....so in the spirit of steemness, I will post this as a suggesssion on at least 100 comments hopefully in the next 7 days or until I fund my account with false hope called fiat.

Until then steem on and lefties do 15mins of right handedwrist exercise everyday per Dr.Traf diagnosis.

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Ok, I just had another idea, this must be worth some Shekels:

For Witnesses...I have 28 Witness Votes left (I think as I've voted for 2 in Team-Australia as instructed....still waiting for @choogirl to respond).

I will immidiately vote for first 10 to respond if you resteem this post and reply below, and if there is more interest than 20, will randomly vote for the next 10 if you don't come across as prissy.

Promise not to touch votes till 2018.

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haha really glad you enjoyed it
ya I was hoping more people would get to see it, felt like the jokes landed harder here than my average piece
thanks for the encouragement :)

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I didn't really enjoy it traf, I have nothing better todo but to bait you into a false sense of support then secretly make you my poster boy in my steem social experiment to see if I can get witnesses (the most serious of long term whales) to resteem when they see a great idea ;-p 😜

Nah...you're awesome.

btw. Am I in the running....or do I need to reply again to get into this pissy penis-stroking promotion?

ps. I was serious about that poster boy bit.

https://steemit.com/steemfest/@jerrybanfield/steemfest-speakers-inspire-my-new-upvoting-system#@dj123/re-lexiconical-re-dj123-re-jerrybanfield-steemfest-speakers-inspire-my-new-upvoting-system-20171104t032341432z

You tricky guy! It's all true. You gave me a brilliant idea. Do you know anyone who wants to join my all lefty community? I'm not a lefty myself but I'm willing to learn.

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haha I thought you wouldn't mind being the butt end of a joke here :)

really took a chance on ned tho...

Steem also boasts notable technical achievements including a lightning fast delegated proof-of-stake blockchain system which, to date, has never been successfully hacked except for that one time in 2016 when somebody had bothered to try. Things couldn't have looked better for the project.

it's true, as I remeber the blockchain really was not hacked but were compromised the user accounts, and stolen 85 thousand dollars.

Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD

Oh yes, it is 100% Truth! So I don't understand what I'm doing here...

I have poor eyesight, and I'm too lazy to read everything and click on links... is it Courtney Love?

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hahahaha, I don't know, you all look the same to me :p

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Seriously? -_-
Even he:

?

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oh don't tell me don't tell me...that's dan right? no no ned! lock in ned!

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Oh shit, so it's true...
Don't worry, you were very close to the right answer. But you better not socialize with european people :)

Truths.

  1. Everyone was sad when @trafalgar took a hiatus (although the reasons cannot be verified without photographic evidence of frolicking with other high-profile steemians in sunny holiday destinations)
  2. People with 2 first names should be scrutinised closely. Martha Stewart anyone?
  3. Circle jerking makes the steemit wheel go around. If you don't know that, get better steemit friends.
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haha this is a strong contender!

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Woo! Then I hope all the other comments after me are follow-4-follows or "good post".

And ignore that @tremendospercy dude. He never writes anything funny. Na-uh, not him. 😁

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I've chosen howtostartablog to be the winner, but your answer was a very close runners up

I'll give this comment an upvote to show my appreciation and hope others won't mind too much :)

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Oh, thank you! That's super nice. I just read @howtostartablog's response.
S/he had me at 1. You're Asian. Lol!

authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD;Loving this-

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thanks a lot, it was one of the truths haha :)

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Thanks, fun fact: kingscrown was born with two right hands.- I think he does have two right hands. :)

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that's true! not so pissy to me though! 50 sbeedeez is still 50 sbeedeez...hold on I got a call on hold...

Otacon?!

OMG! I love you and I think every word you wrote is true except the grindr, I had to look at your article 3 times to spell grindr, I've never tried that app....I haven't met anyone I would like to date except @chessmonster and he cashed out for obvious reasons...the guy doesn't circle jerk...

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thanks a lot, hope the humor wasn't too crude :)

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I don't show my true self here too much, I have to behave, I am a redneck from a logging community up in the Oregon Cascades. I learned to turn the air blue with my cursing around 12 years old, that's also when I got my hunting license and my first hunting rifle...hehehe

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Just gonna say that Grindr is prolly gonna be a source of endless amusement if you give it a try.

If you do, please live stream it!

I wanna hear the redneck curses =p Hell, I'm on the coast. I might hear 'em from here!

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I just looked up Grindr, I get along with gay men really well, I love to party with my gay guy friends..... but I don't like the sex sites and hookup scene, it's boring, boring, boring...I'd get grossed out too....if I make it to steemfest next year I will show my true colors😈

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"I'm a lumberjack, and I'm ok..." -Monty Python

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You don't cut timber on a windy day or ya end up in section 37....lololol

  1. 'Steemit' is an anagram of the Chinese word for 'DDOS'.
    ... you can't beat the feeling of denied service.
  2. The platform itself is not without its controversy.
    ... "Han shot first" is a phrase referring to a controversial change made to a scene in the science fiction film Star Wars (1977), in which Han Solo (Harrison Ford) is confronted by the bounty hunter Greedo (Paul Blake) in the Mos Eisley cantina.
  3. There is a real threat of being targeted and downvoted to oblivion.
    ... for a pissy prize of 50 SBD.
  4. Steemit is an ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders.
    ... this is what it looks like when a sperm whale takes an explosive diarrhea dump out in the middle of the ocean
  5. Dan Larimer suddenly announced his resignation from Steemit Inc.
    ... Ned Scott has a first name for a last name.
  6. The caliber of the writing on Steemit is very high.
    ... Kevin Wong is a retired professional beach volleyball player. He currently lives in Hawaii and runs a volleyball training program for youth.
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I got lost at the 1. point...still

huh?!
Otacon?!...is that you man?!

... OTACOOOOOOOOOOOON !!!

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..Darpa is creating a new weapon... can you find out what? my codec is at 148.12
call me when you get something...

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Solid Snake?

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haha a contender for the 50sbd, i'll pick a winner later today

you get my resteem...lol

pass me a bts addy :P

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Otacon?!

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haha thanks a lot officialfuzzy, what an honor
all good, I can't remember my bts addy username/password haha, I didn't have anything anyway

So much lols!! The truths stood out really easily though

the Chinese and Korean communities have since expressed a sense of relief in his absence, noting that they had always struggled to tell the two apart.

That one, the homesteading/crytotrading articles and kissing ass. Thems the truths!!!

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hahaha
I gotta say a few others have stated the last 2 were truths, but you're the first to go with the racism :)

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Heh heh, you have to throw in one that no-one else would ;0)

  1. The project was created when visionary founders Ned Scott and Dan Larimer discovered a way to bring blockchain to the masses when they realized the online world was missing the one thing everyone wanted.

  2. While most of us lament the departure of our former CTO, the Chinese and Korean communities have since expressed a sense of relief in his absence, noting that they had always struggled to tell the two apart.

  3. Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves

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hahaha
a contender for the prize
i'll pick one out later today

This is such a hilarious piece @trafalgar. I've been carrying a weird grin at the comical nature of the post....Lolz

Well, since a lot of people have actually outlined so many of the comical truths in the post, I guess I am left with pointing out the real truths......hopefully for the newbies and minnows who do not have a lot of details or insight yet, as to the founders or origin of steemit.

#1

The project was created when visionary founders Ned Scott and Dan Larimer discovered a way to bring blockchain to the masses

#2

Steem also boasts notable technical achievements including a lightning fast delegated proof-of-stake blockchain system

#3

Dan Larimer suddenly announced his resignation from Steemit Inc.

#4

Steemit CEO Ned Scott insists the break up was amicable.

@rickie

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haha good contender
i'll likely choose a winner tomorrow

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Lolz....Thanks @trafalgar. I'm glad I am considered a contender.
Still a very funny post though.

1 The project was created when visionary founders Ned Scott and Dan Larimer
2 The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders rocketed Steem up the CoinMarketCap.com
3 in March 2017, Dan Larimer suddenly announced his resignation from Steemit Inc

Ok @trafalgar (crack knuckles), lets do this:

The project was created when visionary founders Ned Scott and Dan Larimer discovered a way to bring blockchain to the masses when they realized the online world was missing the one thing everyone wanted:

a place where all minds will blog; from those who think they should be in TedTalk but were never invited, to small minded lurkers who thinks reply=clickbait; from those innocently ignorant to those dementedly dirty minded af (God bless you all!), all collectively scratching their proverbial balls and farting liberally away safe in the belief no one else is looking (or sniffing).....while steemit clandestinely records all right handed activities due to the visionary blockchain video security subversion feeds.

Steem also boasts notable technical achievements including a lightning fast delegated proof-of-stake blockchain system which, to date, has never been successfully hacked except

for that continual hacking of the steem minnow's mind, where the masses joining are slowly train by carrots of steem trickling down the collective asses of great whales like @trafalgar and the likes. Not knowing that by the time they become whales themselves it would be second natures to jerk off (to the right of course) the great circle of whales gleefully and joyfully as they dance in the great ecosystem of steeming and climax synchronously in the solar event called steemfest.

The platform itself is also not without its controversy.

Not sure what that means, everyone is perfectly happy here. Especially newbies, we just love getting lost, clicking upvote on shit blog (not knowing yet @trafalgar exist) and then think....what tf happened to my rep? It's the foolproof system balance from creating anticipation by delaying signup from upto 1-7 days (Making us lament...why haven't Steemit called me back? He/She asked me for my number damn it!), To the beautiful realization that 'Oh! I just paid myself $0.01 on a self-vote', resulting in an amazing dopamin hit of....'Yessss!' Then 8 hours and only 20x$0.01 to show for later, you realize you just surf through the night and it's 7am and you're late for work....then 1 week later, it dawns upon said new user, "I'm going to get fired...I better learn this blogging shit to pay my bills!"

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I had fun writing it.....btw. I'm that dirty m af minnow aspiring to be a right handed whale in this story.

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haha well hope you succeed on here :)

This is my answer in gif form:

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@stellabelle
Was that Sniffing or Licking? Maybe spinning that coin around.

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oh jesus how you have grown on me...

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OMG!!

I can't unsee it

Great article Traf, it was pretty hard weeding out the truths when everything seemed like a contender. So I just chose the "more true" truths:

Truth #1:

Steemit was born.

I think Steemit was born too!

Truth #2:

Some have raised concerns about the caliber of the writing here being so high it actually detracts from the experience of reading articles from anywhere else.

I completely sympathize with this. I have raised this concern, and I do know of at least one other person who has raised this person. Thus, "some" have raised this concern, so it is true.

Truth #3:

*Image from The Tatiana Show Interview

I checked, and the image is, as you said, from The Tatiana Show Interview. Good job!

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haha you're a contender
i'll pick a winner shortly

  1. "Steemit was born." - Cant deny
  2. "Chinese and Korean communities have since expressed a sense of relief in his absence, noting that they had always struggled to tell the two apart." - Must be true.
  3. "*Image from The Tatiana Show Interview" - thats right.
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haha a contender, winner will be announced soonish and post updated

Lol. Brilliant!!! :-D

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thank you very much :)

However, in March 2017, Dan Larimer suddenly announced his resignation from Steemit Inc.

Could this be the truth?
Well, I wouldn't know, because this comment never existed; just like my girlfriend never did

And here you are offering 50SBDs for a bullshit contest...while on the other hand I run a serious cooking contest where I can only afford to give 31SBD to the top 7 contestants each week!!!
This is a real TRUTH!!!

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haha
but the contest is real
someone will win 50sbd
although it's true that there's a facetious tone to this, but I mostly write comedy

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I know man, i've been reading from you for some time now, well you have been away for a while though!
My comment was my try to win that 50SBDs to sponsor my contest btw!!Lol!

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Don't feel bad - I couldn't even GIVE AWAY $150 worth of SBD/Token prizes last week, not a single entry for the pumpkin carving contest (with the exception of someone who posted after it was over and didn't even follow all the rules LOL) And yet millions of SP given to circle-jerk self-voting rings is the norm on Steemit. Go figure?!

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Dammit! I din't know about the punkin' carvin' contest.

At first I thought your name was @steemshowerpics, and I was all, like, why I am not already following this person? I'd have known about the contest fer sure!

You might think about changing the nick. Just sayin'

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Well the account name is still available - maaaaaaybe. :-)

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Send this non-distributed prizes to me mate...I'll make good use of them in Steemit iron chef for sure!Lol!
The world is really strange...i got plenty of entries in my contest (Over 21 each round) but little prizes to give away...and you got some great prizes to give in your contest...but no participants!!!

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Contact me on Discord :-)

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invite him to dinner... :P

Steem on boys and girls!

... and mannequins too :-)

Big hug
Steemitri The Mannequin

@trafalgar
Well written ... Talking about down voting fobia...I nearly peed on my baggie boxers when I commented on a post by @be... (Can't complete the name😵) and disagreed on his criticism on some great steemians... as he seems to have his worrior ready to down vote any one against their opinion...steemit has been an amazing place to be thanks to people like you and since I joined have been having great fun...nice one dear...keep it coming

Major contribution @trafalgar we didn't make SteemFest but we had fun reading this. Thanks for the shits and giggles.....

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no problem, that's all i'm good for really :)

Did you just grown thin or its just the camera?

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hmm, I put on a bit of weight if anything
probably just the angle

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Whatever it is, it looks good.

Some hard hitting truths of minnows..
1)@trafalgar:i am fan of yours plz upvote my post I am inspired.. You do good work... Plz help me too.... Haha
2)cheetah cheetah :upvoted my post.. I Dnt knw how I never copied somebody taking revenge...
3)i have followed you plz follow me.... Hahaha

The end... Genuine Thanx for reading... I am really fan of yours and Thanx for your upvote n encouragement on my post sometimes.

From your Post THREE truths would be

1)Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves. However, they are reluctant to call these offenders out by name in fear of the very very very real threat of being targeted and downvoted to oblivion in petty retribution.
2)investment advice written by people with learning disabilities.
3)The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders rocketed Steem up the CoinMarketCap.com
Nice contest..:)

authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD.Loving this ;)

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haha thanks
couldn't wait to get to that line as soon as I started writing this piece

Three truths: the new logo looks like a: 1) Trump head. 2) flat tire. 3) bad circumcision.

Thank you for your consideration.

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haha i meant 3 truths in the article I wrote :p

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Dammit!!

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HOOOOOOOOO....bad what?

Otacon?!...I need your help!!...now!!...

I found 3 truths here:

  1. There are no truth in this article whatsoever
  2. The truth is you talking bs
  3. You want the truth??? You can’t handle the TRUTH!

Im a genius. Thanks

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who called him in? where is Tom? I told Jack to stay home! what is who? who is what? I tell you...the truth can't handle Jack...ahhhh lol xD

Otacon!?...are you there?

Congratulations @trafalgar! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of upvotes received

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

Thanks to post

jajajajaja

Muy bueno!

sobretodo esta verdad....

Otros también han expresado su indignación por la tendencia de algunos de los autores más conocidos a explotar su popularidad mediante concursos de mierda que solo ofrecen un premio de 50 SBD; una mera fracción de las recompensas generadas por las publicaciones mismas. Sin embargo, son reacios a llamar a estos delincuentes por su nombre por miedo a la amenaza muy real de ser blanco y degradado al olvido en una pequeña retribución.

Casi caigo en ello!

buen post!

The one that looks tired on the left .. Screwed night bars =))

What a funny young man we have here!

The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders rocketed Steem up the CoinMarketCap.com charts to #1.

And men love kissing the ass?

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we do
and thank you :)

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yes but beware of the ones licking asses...

Otacon?!

...STOPPIT!

Your post i‘am verry happy good luck, i am verry nice good your post

1.Left handed people find it far more difficult to succeed on Steemit due to their reduced capacity to masturbate

  1. The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders

3However, in March 2017, Dan Larimer suddenly announced his resignation from Steemit Inc., citing his own inability to trust anyone with a first name for a last name to be primarily responsible for his decision to leave.

Hahah...Welcome back @trafalgar. Nice sence of humour... couldn't hold the laughter but I have learnt some few things about our dear steemit.

Everyone is sure happy to have you back. I hope to get more from your humorous posts.

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thank you gloglo
good to be back
still a bit busy with real life
and I think i'll pace myself so as to not burn out again :)

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Hahah... you won't burn out, we gottchu🤗. All the best with real life too.

well, there is a lot of trafalgarised truth in the whole post but the biggest lie in there is the fact:
"And there, it remained until 4 months ago when Steemit superstar trafalgar took some time off from the platform due to being inundated by unsolicited romantic advances from the likes of sweetsssj, soldier and allasyummyfood; his absence alone sending the value of the token spiraling down shit's creek."

since you came back after your leave of absence the value of steem has just gotten lower and the creation of your Zappl account has given it another boost (sadly only down)
So maybe take another small leave and delegate your SP to me?
With that SP i can write a lot more effective homesteading posts but of the urban kind and write posts about crypto (a subject of which I really know almost nothing)
thanks in advance... send us a zappl from the beach

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How about :P

Some have raised concerns about the caliber of the writing here being so high it actually detracts from the experience of reading articles from anywhere else.

Are you serious about the reward Man I need that so I tried my best for my need

Nice new logo

Lol. You have an amazing sense of humour.

a place where you can easily find homesteading tips alongside investment advice written by people with learning disabilities.

Very very funny!

The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders.

This touched me, sadly. Lol

Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves.

Im a min... Whatever and trust me 50SBD would get me and my species super stuck to steemit ocean really!
,

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Lol. 🙌

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haha I'll pick a winner later today, glad you had a look

I found the three truths.. its in the initial logo of steemit which formed SSS means.

Social
Security
System

That is the three truths about.

Just correct me if Im right. Hehe

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haha SSS, sounds like the next generation of nazi soldiers :p

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Maybe the reason why @ned, changed it. Hahaha.

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genome soldier huh?...what else they have created while I was away?...

Otacon?!...

investment advice written by people with learning disabilities.

I love you.

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I actually believed that

for a moment

oh I got punked!

Otacon?!...I need to get to gate B...

Dear Trafalgar, I am just amazed to see ur profile.can u tell me what's the secret behind your every successful post?

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You want the goddamn secret sauce?!!

1 Part Originality
2 Parts Persistence
3 Parts Figure it out yourself :)

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no real secret, good quality content and don't go missing for 4 months like I did haha (lost about 70% value on my last few posts compared to before)

also, don't burn out and try to enjoy it

I'm not gonna play along, but the post got my chuckling! THX!

@rawdawg

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haha thanks for reading

That's a great contest 👏, and I saw this contest first of kind on steemit. I will also try for it.

Yes the truth here remains that trafalgar and took those four months off due to @sweetsssj advances. Now where is my 50 SBD

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lol I wish :p

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Hahaha well do i get the humor me award?

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juss give him some s bee deez...hold on I got Otacon on the other line...

Otacon?!...

Congratulations @trafalgar, this post is the second most rewarded post (based on pending payouts) in the last 12 hours written by a Superhero or Legend account holder (accounts hold greater than 100 Mega Vests). The total number of posts by Superhero and Legend account holders during this period was 23 and the total pending payments to posts in these categories was $1276.80. To see the full list of highest paid posts across all accounts categories, click here.

If you do not wish to receive these messages in future, please reply stop to this comment.

🙄 Wait a minute -- is this a trick question??? Why do the "bullshit" statements actually feel more like the true facts? LOL

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Darpa is making a new weapon...no bullshit

.. Otacon?!...

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haha a lot of people have said that there is too much truth here :)

How can you, bro!!

4g36_f-maxage-0.gif

Thanks for information
Good post my friend

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thank you too!

March 2017, Dan Larimer suddenly announced his resignation from Steemit Inc

Nothing but the truth only if dan want to go back to the past to change the dateof his resignation.

Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD

True did you know you will have above 50sbd upvote before, i think i want to be like you, just that i might end up having 2sbd for 50sbd contest.

kingscrown was born with two right hands.

Really i thought he actually have just one finger, lol, thank you for the contest.

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thank you for reading

Too funny. You're getting a new follower as soon as I pick my ass of the floor as I have apparently laughed it off.

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