How A Psych Professor Saved My Educational Life, Uberman Sleep Cycle, and Personal Maturity

To do this story justice I need to give you all a rundown on my history in the United States formal education system. Just a hint, I'm not a fan, but I have prospered inside it nonetheless. This should be a fun ride <3 For humor's sake and to hopefully get you to stick to this blog, here's a picture of teenage me.

Early in my childhood I was a massive book worm, you'd be hard-pressed to find me actually speaking to other students. My time was important and limited, and it was often spent with my nose in a Stephen King novel. Or with my eyeballs glued to a GameBoy Color on the bus, and you knew something was wrong if I didn't have a pair of cheap over the ear headphones on, connected to a Walkman Cassette Player. My friend circle was small and short-lived typically, I didn't keep them long and when they existed they weren't particularly exciting. I aced tests without trying, homework was done before I even left the class, I had good relationships with my teachers and didn't even know the administration by name because I'd never had to interact with them very much. I was a good kid.

I was a class act, straight A student until 7th grade came around. Things felt normal to me, I was doing work, I was doing tests, I was staying out of trouble...something was off though, my grades were slipping, I'd have papers inside of folders far too long past their due dates, without a reason as to why they weren't completed or why I hadn't turned in what I did manage to complete for partial credit. I was slipping pretty quickly, and I wasn't sure why. Maybe all I needed was a tutor, or some specialized care momentarily. I'm not sure, either way, my parents were so used to me doing so well year after year, that they didn't take notice. I'm not sure why either, parent-teacher conferences were a thing still.

The end of the year came and I found myself slightly exhausted and confused as to where my head was at, I opened up my final 7th grade report card, or so I thought, to find a few C's and a D+.

"Oh no, What did I do? Where did I go wrong? Was it the entire time? Can I recover from it alright? I know the material wasn't that hard."

Unfortunately I didn't get to ponder those things, as soon as my father caught a look at my results, he told me how disappointing it was, on the spot. He didn't want to hear about the effort that I had put forth, that I thought it was going to be a simple fix, nothing of that sort. He was excited that my mother and I were moving to a new city so I could start 7th grade all over again as a fresh start. He saw it as an opportunity, not something that was going to be hurtful to my progress.

This sent me down a not so hopeful and productive path in my life. My new town was more segregated and unfriendly than my last, I made a few friends but to say that they were positive influences would have been an over-statement. Lots of lighting things on fire, getting drunk, spray-painting things, getting in fist fights at parties, cheating in and cutting class, you name a bad thing kids did during middle and high school, and we probably did it often enough. Steal your father's van? Check. Run from cops after climbing water tower? Check.

Somehow I still managed to at least try and focus on my work. It didn't get done though. I was having far too much fun. Me caring for my achievements and wanting to get into a good school in the future and all of that fantasy future had been thrown out the window for desires of instant gratification and vague recollections. I wanted to forget the night before more than I wanted to make tomorrow a better day than today. This continued for the rest of my K-12 education, more of the same in 8th grade. My parents started to roll their eyes at my actions, and it became less of a concern and more something to just deal with. Me getting high marks wasn't their concern anymore, keeping me off the streets and out of jail cells was on their minds. Thankfully, I kept my wits about me for the most part and stayed away from handcuffs.

In 9th grade thing came to a halt and were shaken up a bit, after finding out that I had failed for the fourth year of formal education in a row, my parents figured it was time to try out an alternative school instead. Enter Lincoln High, one of the most run down and heartwarming places you could teach a child. The teachers either wanted you to survive more than themselves, or they wanted you to feel as miserable as they did, flip a coin and enjoy your homeroom. I ended up dropping out of this school halfway through my first year, because a computer teacher wanted to debate me on freedom of religion in the classroom, and held me back to ask me if I was a Satanist.

(this is the image he questioned me over)...

"You wouldn't want people to think something like that would you?" (as if a bible thumping Klingon speaking computer teacher is a better presentation)

I ripped him a new one verbally and dropped out on the spot in the office, a few years later he was suspended for I believe four years for inappropriate conduct with female students. I was given no sympathy from the administration, and that's fine. I stayed out of school for a year after this, I was dejected and had no idea where I was going to turn and how I was going to make anything of myself. I was hopeless. I was drinking at least once a week, knowing full well my father is an alcoholic and it could rub off on me. I was heading down a dark path pretty quickly and needed to do something about it.

My sister suggested another alternative school in a city nearby, it couldn't hurt, right? Why not give one last stab at it and see what I could do, I was only twenty two credits behind from graduating on time..Somehow I did it. I came into class once a week on Wednesdays for two hours, and then I would turn in any work I had completed over the previous week. They would load me up with textbooks and tell me to complete them front to back, every question, in notebooks. Turn in when completed.

The amount of mental stress I put on my shoulders immediately, was powerful and motivating. I either had to go one hundred percent every day, or I was going to fail. I didn't want to get a GED, I didn't want to waste more time before I could move forward with my future. So I looked for an alternative to help me study. I chose Polyphasic Sleep. Specifically the Uberman sleep cycle. Which meant six twenty minute naps per day, that's all I got.

It took me a long time to adjust to this cycle, as you can imagine. About 3 weeks total. The first week my adjustment period got screwed up for a day and a half, and the following two weeks were absolutely brutal on my body and mind, at the end of those two weeks though, things became clear. I was going to do this. I studied sixteen hours a day, cut out nearly all ties to other relationships that I had, minimal recreational anything. Just wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat.

It worked, too. I ended up graduating valedictorian and giving a speech for my close family and the rest of the class. I was happy I graduated on time, with a not terrible GPA, and came out with higher than average ACT scores. Let me tell you those came in handy. My sleep corrected itself over the summer and led me to enrolling at a local community college like a lot of other kids in my area did, I figured it would be cake compared to what I just went through.

I was unfortunately, very, very wrong. I was burnt out still. I still didn't like standardized education and didn't understand why I was going to have fellow Americans and the government pay for me to learn things I already knew, like how to use a mouse and a keyboard. I got sucked into other hobbies as I tend to do, I played more Magic: The Gathering than I did "Solve for X" by far. This led to me eventually just..not showing up. I didn't drop classes, I didn't close my accounts or anything, I just quit going. This proved an issue in later years.

Shortly after I dropped out of college I moved to San Jose, CA to attempt living with a partner that I had been with the past few years. Things disintegrated upon my landing, I cried myself to sleep for a few months next to him, and then I went back home to MI. Took a small vacation for a weekend in Atlanta, and fell in love with the most influential person that I've met in my life thus far, my ex fiancee. She deserves an entire post to herself in all honesty. Short version is, we fall madly in love, I get spoiled, she moved me in after six months of dating back and forth. I propose a year later and start my transition soon after that. We have our ups and downs and about eleven months ago we ended things for the immediate future, packed all my things in the back of my girlfriend's pickup truck, and moved here to St. Louis to restart myself and get a hold on my independence.

Welcome the beautiful Arch. Funny tidbit, my new partner's grandfather helped design and create pieces to finish the Arch's construction!

My entire world got shaken up, I went from being a spoiled and depressed house cleaning boy toy two years prior to a poor punk girl struggling to pay bills and eat each week, while being infinitely more at peace with myself and happier in my new environment. I felt safe here with my new partner, and that meant I could start opening up to new ideas, like maybe going back to school after four years off..

I decided to do that, at the end of last year. Looking for work was proving daunting and boring, nothing I wanted to do had openings, it was the Holiday rush for seasonal work and I didn't want to lose something as soon as I got it..so I decided to enroll in college again. This time I picked a more robust University with more readily available resources and a more insulated community. I motivated myself better and more soundly, without unrealistic goals adding weight to my shoulders.

This school is different, I felt cared for, even by the staff and administration. I had a few bumps getting my financial aide all in order, along with having issues with my enrollment because I was new to the are and had dropped out of my last college. Instead of a traditional accept or decline, I was interviewed by one of the directors and told him my story, he told me after we were done to write an appeal letter and they'll see what they can do. My GPA coming in was terrible, and they wanted to suggest me to another community college, but I didn't want that, I had fears of the term haunting me.

I typed up my appeal on my phone on the spot, and was accepted later that day. over the course of the next three months, I would reshape the way I look at formal education and learning all over again. It was my first semester back and I wanted to go into Social Work with a minor in Psych. My Psychology Professor is one of the most awesome humans I've ever met.

That's her. Absolutely gorgeous and with a brain to match it. In what other lecture hall can you raise your hand and tell the Prof that you're turned on and think she's hot? Where you can walk up after class, hug one another, and talk about how all your girlfriends are doing? Make plans for wine and chocolate over the summer? Only this one I imagine.

She made me think about Psych and the human brain in ways I didn't think I could. Eye opening realizations to the way the human mind works. lessons on how to make someone fall in love with you (I don't need help there), analyses on the Stanford and Milgram experiments, where my hand swelled from writing notes feverishly, just so I could tell her I want to implement some of those tactics into my every day BDSM dynamics with my partners.

She opened my eyes up that Psychology is so much more than many think it is, it really is a science of how we function and are conditioned as a species. She inspired me to change my major to Psych next year. Her lessons helped me pull through the semester when, at two weeks remaining in the semester, I was certain I was going to fail most of my classes. Her motivation and energy helped me grind like I did back in my senior year, she helped me save my Composition, Economics and Psych classes from certain doom, I couldn't say the same for my Sociology class that I'll have to retake next semester! (can't win them all, slept on a huge project in the middle of the semester).

Instead of 3 Fs and not being accepted back next semester, still on academic probation. I'll be entering next semester with a B-, a C, a D, and and F. Still on probation, but with a much better idea of the time management I'll need next semester, and how to crush my classes with ease. I applied for a Peer Sex Educator position on campus that I'll have to train for a year for and would look incredible on my resume as an aspiring Sex and Relationship therapist.

I will not struggle and drown in the pool of educational time crunches and pre-exam stress. I will prepare, I will prosper, I will not become my statistics <3 This is what winning looks like.