@son-of-satire isn't funny anymore
@notoneofyou had the fucking balls to message me on steem.chat accusing me of forgetting how to be funny. That's bullshit. It really is. My loyal followers will know that I'm like an elephant. They also know that I never forget a thing.
How would you expect a respectable gentleman, such as I , to go about responding to a slanderous comment like this? Well I'll tell you. I took to google for advice, but unfortunately, I could find no advice whatsoever on how an unfathomably handsome man who is probably a god (and probably King of all Gods) would approach a situation like this.
I suppose we will have to do this my way. To prove to @noneofyou that I am still funny, I am going to make up three jokes right now on the spot and then hit publish, probably after promoting some recent shit at the bottom. If you laugh, then resteem so your followers can too.
Joke 1:
Femcoin reached 100 Billion dollars in market cap this weekend after an impressive rise in value. Feminists have been unable to celebrate the occasion due to their mass outrage at Trump's use of the word "pumped" to describe the price rise.
Joke 2:
What do you get when you cross a steemit with a corporation?
A company where employees have to pay their employers for their wages.
with a government?
A country where you are taxed on the votes you have to pay for if you want to earn enough to pay your taxes on time to avoid excess taxes.
with a religion?
a god who favours only worshipers, prostitutes and those who kick back 50% of what God has given them.
with Hollywood?
the first ever movie to make box office records after the producer pays for 2 million tickets out of his own pocket
with the sex industry?
a new genre of porn where people sit in circles masturbating while doing normal things such as watching sports or playing scrabble- all the while pretending that no one is stroking their own or the person adjacent's genitalia Also available in 3D virtual reality.
with the banking industry?
a new type of loan where all questions on the application must be answered through the process of interpretive dance, and that offers a very low acceptance rate to unpaying customers.
Joke 3:
I am prepared to offer 10 SBD to any who wasted their time reading this and did not laugh. Simply send 25 SBD to my wallet and explain in the memo that you did not laugh. I will then donate 10 SBD to a charity of your choice in your name. (NOTE: Only one choice available)
I would have sent you 25 SBDs but I
don't have so much moneyhave actually laughed at some of these :)If you have a hard time taking a shit, try clamming your feet and pull upwards.
That shit works! People are pumps :)
yep I liked it. I feel like I laughed. a LOT. But only inside. It is great testament to you that If it had been an interpretive dance, and I was a total banker, I would offer you my hand in marriage
This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
what we lack in steem is humor... and definitely i loved this.. there are comedyopenmics..why dont you try to join that
Glad you got a laugh out of it. It was somewhat forced, as I am sure you could probably tell, it was only me that needed reminding I could still be funny.
I don't know who runs the openmiccontest, but, my intuition knows it is not worth wasting my time to enter. Too many of the influential people on this platform dislike me for telling them truths they did not want to hear.
But, even if I don't believe I'd get a fair shot in that contest, it doesn't mean I can't use their tag to get my own shit noticed a little more. So, it's all good.
👍