RE: The Problem with One-Sided Conversations
So, I did not come here as part of #payitforward , since I'm not yet sure I really want to participate in that just yet, but I understand your sentiment.
I might be able to offer a bit of insight of my own on this though.
The first two weeks have mostly been "me" mentality for me on this site. First, the rush of content that my friends made, curated, and suggested. Then, a torrent of writing the likes of which I havent experienced since I was in grade school. Along the way, I made a couple of new friends, which seemed to have an exponential effect on the amount of content I had to review.
That was a huge part. The second part was something that I just kinda realized last night, while feeling disgruntled over some of my own content not getting comments or upvotes. Browsing through my profile, I finally noticed that there was a whole section devoted to seeing the replies other people had posted on your content. Since I'm used to other sites (and even forums) that flag you with a little number or notifications icon to let you know when people have mentioned you or interacted with your content, I suppose that I has a sort of unconscious state of mind where I thought that since there was no notification icon that no one was really commenting.
Now, I know SOME people were commenting, since I had a tendency to refresh my own posts every few hours to reply to what was there, promote my post, pine for upvotes etc. But since I didnt have a nice big number at the top of the page notifying me, and generally not much hand holding available to teach one the ever-changing finer points of the site, I totally missed a number of replies on OLDER content that I had posted, and felt terrible.
The final bit, is merely getting over the ego-hump and moving to the point where I'm content with just posting to post, and then treating this more like a social network and less like a bloghosting site. Now that I've hit that phase, I feel like I'm more willing to interact with other people, and review content on my own behalf instead of just what other's say I should upvote.
That transition from ego-maniacal instagram "me" fest to a real social platform is going to take different amounts of time for everyone, if they get there at all. For me it's recent, and I feel bad for missing conversations, but at least I'm more aware of it going forward, hopefully able to repair that which I may have damaged in the past.
That's a great observation! I haven't thought of it that way. The "Replies" section could really do with an unread notification to make sure things don't go unnoticed. I'll request for that feature on your behalf, if I can't code it by myself. Man, I consider that a gamechanger in terms of unnoticed replies. Thanks for bringing that up. I can't believe that went unnoticed.
The "Replies" section does seem to look very discreet, and I hope that change will rectify it somehow. I'll send you a DM in chat with the screenshot of that request.
I'm sure glad that you've already gone over that hump! Welcome to the other side. I have no doubt that you haven't damaged enough that you can't repair. This shift in consciousness is what I really wanted to have with this article. Having your reply go unnoticed by the poster can be really disheartening, since you spent some time crafting that comment. I can't speak for anyone else, but at least that's how I feel.
It's great you pointed out that "me"-mentality, because I feel very strongly about that. Social networks by definition are meant to promote socialization. I don't know when it came to be but it evolved into something more of a place to showcase ones own thoughts and work. That's all well and good. It's human nature, and every one has the right to do that. But, the problem starts when everyone just focuses on themselves. All those promotion bombs without checking other people's content. There doesn't even have to be long conversations or relationship-building, there just has to be some sort of reciprocity to acknowledge other people's effort.
Yours is probably the longest comment this post has received so far, and it that doesn't scream thoughtfulness, I don't know what does. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts regarding this!