Relationship : Doubt in A Relationship

Doubt is a normal response to change. ... Doubt is common when relationship talk graduates to moving in together or marriage. Simply talking about these changes with your partner can relieve the stress; you may find he or she feels the same. Some doubts are a stress response.

Doubts can be scary when they first surface. And, doubts typically raise their heads right when the high of falling in love meets the truth that you and your partner may not exactly be made for each other, you know, like two peas in a pod. You are actually two separate and differnt people.
But doubt can also mean that your relationship is moving to another stage of commitment where differences are worked on and growth happens. Unless you let doubt get the better of you. So, why do we doubt the ones we love?

Doubt can be from past experience, Sometimes we think we doubt our current partner when we are really assuming certain things based on past experience. You might doubt your partner truly loves you if in the past you dated someone who was emotionally unavailable. Or, you may have trust issues if your previous partner cheated. If you truly want to move on, you have to get past these issues, but a loving partner will be there for and with you. But remember, he or she is not your past, and you are loved now.
Doubt is a normal response to change. Just as we doubt what a new job or moving might do to our lives, doubts arise in relationships when things progress. Doubt is common when relationship talk graduates to moving in together or marriage. Simply talking about these changes with your partner can relieve the stress; you may find he or she feels the same.

Some doubts are a stress response. They can be our way of preparing for new challenges. These doubts sound like: What if I’m still attracted to other people, is that a bad sign? But I don’t like his or her friends all that much. Are they really my ‘One’? Are we really a match sexually? I am not sure about the way he or she manages their finances. These are perspectives rather than things set in stone. They are issues that can change over time, or are often only one side of the story.
Doubt is just like trust when you doubt your spouse it means you don't trust him/her and where there is no togetherness or trust it's bound to be a failure..
these doubts sound familiar, talk to someone you trust, a good friend, call a support hotline, or to talk to a counselor or coach who can help you understand what you are dealing with and what you need to do to be safe. These are red flag doubts that indicate a potentially abusive situation and are about the other persons actions and behaviors. They are signs of betrayal, control, disrespect, and overstepping personal boundaries.

Healthy relationship doubts are assumptions about the relationship itself. Whether it’s working, whether it’s the right one for you, whether you both want the same future. Using the above article, you can look at your relationship and decide what your doubts might mean for your relationship and how to address them. And trust your partner with your doubts. Chance are, he or she has doubts too. You can work through them together. What better way to assuage your doubts and grow closer? Trust and communication. Works everytime.

When you love someone madly, the last thing you expect is to entertain doubts about the strength of your bond. Questioning seems contrary to commitment. Even if you do so privately, inside your own mind—in the midst of a sleepless night, while jogging, or showering—it can feel like a serious betrayal.

After reaching a certain point, you don’t want to question whether your partner’s values are aligned with yours enough to move forward, long past the lustful stage and into lasting romantic attachment, or whether you want the same things out of life in practical, realistic terms, or whether you can imagine parenting together and growing old alongside each other, eventually dying hand-in-hand as you’ve discussed so many times while caught in the throws of passion. You don’t want to let yourself ask these questions because it seems disrespectful to the person you love and the life you’ve built together so far.

But you must—without freaking out, if possible. Because if you don’t, those pesky questions will eat at you from the inside out until your heart is Swiss cheese, compromising your capacity to love.

No matter how strongly you feel about your significant other, it’s natural to feel confused about the relationship once in a while. You might doubt the fact that the person you love loves you as much as they claim to. You might doubt that your partner is worthy of the trust you’ve placed in them. You might wonder if you can make it as a couple long-term. Especially in matters of the heart, none of us is all-knowing.

Pangs of uncertainty can sprout up for no good reason, tickling your consciousness and begging for attention no matter how unjustified they may be. On other occasions, your gut may respond to blatant signs of trouble, or to subtle but significant cues. Unfortunately, it’s tough to know the difference. But it’s always worth trying to decipher the root cause of whatever doubts creep up. You can’t fear the outcome of addressing them too much to deny yourself the room to figure things out. However unpleasant the process may be, confronting uncertainty is the only way to return to a point of clarity.

You may have reason to doubt your relationship, and you may not. You may decide that the woman or man you’ve long thought of as “the one” is exactly right for you after all, or not. You may choose to do the work to repair whatever aspects of your relationship are broken, or deem the situation a lost cause. Relationship doubts aren’t necessarily an indicator of insurmountable problems, but they can be. The morning you wake up wondering whether the person next to you belongs there, you’re not doomed to split. But you might.

So listen yourself, but with the utmost caution. Don’t ignore your inner voices, but don’t become a victim of your own speculative thoughts, either. Be as reasonable as your emotions will allow. Seek counsel from friends and family members, but don’t assume their insights are more accurate than yours. Get therapy from a trained professional, but avoid horoscopes and psychics. Cyberstalk your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife all you want, but never ever cybersnoop. (If you don’t know the difference, figure it out.) Entertain every possibility—leaving, cheating, moving, ransacking the apartment, draining the bank account—but understand the distinction between thinking, saying, and doing something. Unless you’re a saint who only thinks pure, saintly thoughts, don’t feel obligated to express every theory or view that crosses your mind. Complete transparency isn’t as healthy as it sounds, and we’re all responsible to a certain extent for protecting each other from our own minds. That doesn’t mean you can’t communicate openly and honestly, but it does mean that you should choose your words carefully, especially when speaking to the person you love.

Ultimately, whether you have reason to be suspicious or paranoid or hesitant—whether you and your significant other stay together, or break up—you will both be fine. Love is painful and confounding and exhausting and frustrating and overwhelmingly awesome. It leads us to places we treasure, and to places we abhor. It brings out the absolute best and worst in us. Love demands navigating sharp curves, steep hills, and some impossibly giant potholes. The terrain is uneven—and that’s okay. If it were simple or easy, it wouldn’t be so damn hard to find, nurture, or let go of. But no one’s ever died of a broken heart.

People grow apart because individuals evolve, often separately. But relationships evolve, too. If you stay together, your love will be no weaker for the questions you once pondered. On the contrary, without a doubt, you’ll be stronger as a couple.

How to control doubt before it control you or your relationship??

Constant doubt does not allow the relationship a chance to breathe, but rather it stifles and suffocates the possibilities. Take note of what is causing the doubt to occur, then determining whether it can be overcome.

What are legitimate reasons for doubt to occur?

There is a difference between giant red flags and tiny, annoying occurrences. Red flags are situations that alert you to possible relationship obstacles impossible of being overcome. Tiny, annoying occurrences can be described as pet peeves. These little nuances should never become grounds for serious conflict and are usually accepted when in love. We all know not everyone is perfect, but it is important to distinguish deal-breakers from your partner’s quirky habits.
Red flags are examples of hardships you're going to have down the road – how you overcome them together can be a great indicator of your compatibility in your partnership. You have to use your best judgment when determining which issues can be sorted out and which can become serious.

People come into your life at different times for different reasons. A relationship can make you realize things about yourself and what you need out of a partnership. So, whether the relationship ultimately succeeds or not, the imperative part is learning and growing from the experience. When you start to view life as a series of experiences rather than categorizing events into success or failure boxes, a weight is lifted and your perspective shifts. You can now relax, enjoy, and be passionate in life and in your relationships, whether they are fleeting or permanent.

Doubt is a part of life and entering into new relationships. It’s not the hesitation that should leave you feeling weak; it’s the courage to take the step into a new relationship that should make you strong. Whatever the outcome, find peace in knowing you were hopeful and brave enough to give it your all.

You and your partner may be blissfully happy before doubt enters the picture. Then, you start to worry if you're really a good match for one another. Is your partner interested in someone else? If you don't resolve relationship doubts, they can ruin everything. Tackle your doubts by first going to the source— your partner— and seeking out the reassurance you long for.

Controlling your Doubt:

1. Communicate your fears. Bottling up your feelings may actually allow the doubt to fester. Let it go by talking about it with your partner. Be candid with them and come out and say what's bugging you.[1]
   You might say, “We never have conversations about the future and it makes me doubt your feelings for me.”

2. Ask your partner for reassurance. After sharing your fears, ask your partner for support and reassurance. You might want them to remind you how much they love you, or you might want a show of affection, like a hug and a kiss.
   You might ask something like, "I need to hear that I'm your top priority. Can you tell me please?"
   Be cautious of too much reassurance-seeking as it can make you appear clingy to your partner.

3. Work together to devise solutions. Determine what about your partner's behavior causes you to feel doubt. Then, put your heads together and figure out ways to work through it.[3]
   For instance, if you feel doubt because your partner keeps putting off important conversations about the future, have a candid talk about that and find a middle ground.
   If doubt rears its head after a nasty fight, try going to couples therapy and learning better conflict resolution skills.
   Talk to each other about how you like to share and receive love. For example, some people like to do things for the person they love to show how they feel, while others like to shower their partner with compliments and declarations of love. Since it's normal for people to have a different "love language," it's important to know how both of you show love so that there aren't misunderstandings.

With this so far your Doubt can be controlled and minimized before it escalates into a bigger problem.

Thanks to Steemit, Steemit Communities, To All Minnows and Newbies, to my readers and all Steemians you are appreciated.

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