There is a phrase in Catholicism used a lot--"o felix culpa" or, in English, "oh happy fault." It refers to the belief that good comes from even the darkest events, rooted in the crucifixion of Jesus and his resurrection.

This article is neither a theological debate nor an attempt to stoke one; I don't do that on this platform. But I'd like to take the truth of that phrase and apply to it other things in my life, as I often do, and encourage you to as well.

It's been a lifeline for me: when something really difficult happens, or I'm disappointed, I say.. "oh happy fault" as an act of trust that something even better can come out of it than if it didn't happen in the first place. It keeps me encouraged and grounded and hopeful. A huge gift, and I've really seen that happen, again and again and again.

Today, it's cryptocurrencies & the "getting really sick" that I'm realizing it is connected to.

Guys: I am the last person you would expect to have gotten into cryptocurrencies and a place like Steemit. I'm so tech-averse that it's entertaining; I didn't even have a cell phone until I was 22-23, and even then barely actually used it except for emergencies.

(A lot of that had to do with not liking people to be able to get a hold of me - I'm a weird mix of introvert and very expressive/friendly, so people are often drawn to me but I tend to need a LOT of alone time to process life - but that's a different story for a different time.)

But here I am. And honestly, none of us know exactly what's going to happen with cryptocurrencies over the next few years (or even months!), but most of us are either familiar enough with the technology/big picture that we are confident it will work (I don't really understand it yet, although I'm trying to get there) or simply have that intuition that we may have just struck gold. And if we have, then we really have.

And here is exactly the point: I only got into Steemit/cryptos because I was so very sick. As some of you know, I was recently (finally!) diagnosed with a serious hypothyroid issue after 7 years of extreme fatigue and sickness. Prior to getting ill, I was high-energy and high-achieving: I was at the top of my class everywhere I attended school; I was in leadership positions and heavily involved in the community; I was physically active; I was working on music projects and constantly writing songs and poems; I had a beautiful group of friends and many people who really loved me; I laughed a lot.

All that changed after a particularly stressful few months in grad school, some difficult personal situations, and a horrible cold and wisdom teeth operation followed by heavy antiobiotics. My body finally "white-flagged" it, as I like to say. I was suddenly severely exhausted, and couldn't do even a small fraction of what I was doing before.

I spent the next 7 years just trying to survive. I crawled through the last stretch of my Master's degree (finishing felt like a literal miracle); I moved back home from Europe; I struggled financially and personally in ways too painful to explain. While I still did a lot of living in that time (including working with a record label in the UK?!), the primary experience in that time was one of desperation and suffering. There was constant disappointment in what my body couldn't do, and in feeling so vulnerable and destroyed mentally, emotionally, relationally, and physically.

In the spring of this year, I finally had the chance to try an alternative way to get a diagnosis outside of Canada--where I had mostly not been taken seriously or doctors had rolled their eyes and tried to prescribe me antidepressants without dealing with the actual problem, when I wasn't depressed but just PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED. It was my whole hormone system, which was obvious to me, but certainly not obvious to them (someone please explain to me the lack of respect for common sense in so many medical circles? I just don't get it.)

Anyway, a friend's mom is a nurse and well-versed in holistic medicine, and also had to deal with a serious thyroid issue herself. She invited me to come and stay, and we did independent blood-testing, discussed my case with her naturopath, and consulted some fringe bio-chemists doing work in female endocrinology. In the course of that time, I finally received my diagnosis and an official prescription from the naturopathic doctor, and have now been on medication and a bunch of other synergistic natural aids for 6 months, with huge improvement.

Most of my time there--3 months--however, was still very painful, because it's hard accepting that kind of generosity and being so weak, exhausted, and feeling so useless. Even after 7 years of reduced capacity, I'm still not used to not being that person with boundless energy! It's very humbling, and, on the days when you're not in a good space, even humiliating.

It was in that time, however, that my mother (of all people! which she would say as well..) sent me a text saying that a guy she was watching on YouTube mentioned he was making a little extra money through a website called "Steemit" and that I should check it out.

One of the greatest sufferings of this time of illness was my financial incapacity; I have tried multiple time to work various jobs, but have just not been able to count on my body at all. I've been left very dependent on friends and family to get through. So the idea of somewhere where I could work at my own pace, doing the things that I am best at and most love, giving people value, and could make even a little extra income felt like a Godsend.

Little did I know what I was being given, however: the beginnings of investment in cryptocurrency.

Trust me, without Steemit, I wouldn't be in the game. Even if I were convinced about cryptocurrencies from another place, I don't think I could have made the jump into investing the little money I have when I'm literally just worried about covering my rent and bills, etc.--especially because it's so uphill to learn without the motivation of "cashing out"!

Having that bit of Steemit income in the background has been a comfort for months, and 2 weeks ago I cashed out for the first time. I didn't actually want to (although I didn't know what was brewing in the crypto world!), but just really needed an extra bit for some things I am pursuing musically. I got it out when SBD were worth $2.60 and felt like I had WON and was so grateful!

And then SBD hit $18 about 3 days later. I almost died.

But I got over it fairly quickly: first, I still had a chunk of money that felt like it came out of thin air, from doing things I really love and getting to know this amazing, quirky group of people that is the Steemit community. Second, it helped me really see the capacity of cryptocurrencies, and that I should really be taking it more seriously than I had so far. I always believed that Steemit really made you real money, but I didn't fully grasp the potential of cryptocurrencies until I saw SBD take off.

So, I've been slowly learning the art of trading, and have invested 1/3 of my meagre gains from Steemit into a couple of other teeny, tiny cryptos, and am already seeing the number climb dramatically. I'm also anticipating the growth of Steemit, and am excited to see its growth WAY eclipse what we saw this last couple of weeks; it'll make my old loss laughable, I think (although I certainly could have used that extra right about now, let me tell you! Oh happy fault?!!)

If cryptos take off like BTC did? Or even a fraction of that? Then 7 years of being ill will certainly turn out to be one of the most dramatic "oh happy faults" of my life.

I likely would have been close to the last person on board with cryptos without having gotten so sick; but because I was desperate and sick and have had the flexibility to get to know the crypto world, I am in a real way, with all of you, still somehow one of the first, and just ahead of the curve enough to maybe see some incredible changes in my life.

I can't tell you what it means to me to think of my story turning out okay, and having the funds to finally support my artistic vision for myself and the world.

It's heart-bursting beautiful. Oh. Happy. Fault.

Xx,
Kay

A big thank you to those who follow @kayclarity! I'd love to have you join me :). If you're interested in seeing/hearing me sing, you can check out some of my work (a trending post!).