Use Your Sewing Machine Like A Man!

So I have a friend here on Steemit who goes by @sivehead. (Or at least I think we’re friends.. 🤔) You know what? Hold that thought! I should probably enlist a trustless, third party to verify our friendship before I begin this post in such monumental fashion.

:take two:

So I have a mutual follower here on Steemit who goes by @sivehead. (That’ll work) Each time this person posts something, there’s going to be a line or two of really dry comedy that’s funny if you have your reading glasses on! Along with posting articles that make me laugh; I also know this person lives in The U.K, is one of eight people living under the same roof, has uniquely abnormal eyesight and enjoys cooking. Just recently I learned something else - Seamstress! Add sewing machines to this persons repertoire of personality and talents: Big ones, small ones, commercial, industrial, bring it! According to this guy: It doesn’t matter! If something needs to be created out of thin air using a needle, some thread and a foot pedal, @sivehead is your...

I know what you’re thinking!

“Woman”

That’s kind of stereotypical of you, don’t you think? Truth be told, he threw me for a loop, too, when I learned his money maker is a sewing machine. Not because sewing is for women and not for men, that isn’t why, nope! The tailor at the boot store is a man, I’m well aware that all sewing machines are androgynous tools. But! (Here it comes)...

I’ve seen the swimwear you European men (and women) wear, which, by the way, are strikingly similar in fabric proportions! Hey, I’m not judging - It’s just not my thing:

Literally, it’s not my thing!

This is what I meant by being “strikingly similar in fabric proportions:”

”Bikini” bottom

Which brings me back to the cover image - I need a new pair of board shorts. A pair of shorts with lengths commonly worn by us Westerners. You know, the kind of shorts that cover our thighs entirely rather than just a smidgen of our pubes:

DuckDuckGo, iPhone 8, Photoshop

So here comes the idea my friend, ready? Stitch up some Steemit board shorts! Board shorts with fabric proportions that are noticeably different between the women’s section and the men’s section at the department store. Just in case your European shorts wearing, pube waxing, thong outta your booty diggin’ with your sewing machine hands are unfamiliar with Western proportions; something like this:

DuckDuckGo, iPhone 8, Photoshop

What do you think @sivehead, yay or nay? Anyone else? Opinions? Am I the only one who needs a couple pairs of Steemit board shorts? Hey, I got it! :light bulb: First do a pair of board shorts for us Westerner’s and then we’ll work on bikinis for you guys.

Click Here for Monday: