Are You An Enabler?
Everyone requires acceptance. Our friends seek us out because they know we make them feel accepted. The dynamics of friendship require that we remain nonjudgmental towards one another.But what do we do when our friend shares with us that he is doing something ethically questionable? Should we just accept this too and tell ourselves that it’s none of our business? Most of the time, we fear offending our friend. And this becomes the excuse for not doing anything and merely tolerating his actions.
Often, we become our friends enablers , just by not telling them that what they are doing is injurious , making them feel that it is ok.
Sometimes we think that being a friend entails giving blind and unconditional acceptance. But this should not be the case. We cannot be the one to give encouragement to a friend when he engages in dishonesty or becomes mired in vices. If we truly consider ourselves to be a good friend, then we should not enable the wrongdoings of those close to us. A good friend shows concern and will not simply watch and wait for his friend to slowly destroy his own life.
If you become aware that your friend is doing something wrong it is better to confront them with the consequences of their choice. By making a clear and consistent stand on the issue, we can object to our friend’s deleterious behavior in a concerned and respectful way without risking the friendship. By doing this at least we have a clear conscience that we tried our best, and by being a positive influence, we can hope to bring about a realization in our friend by allowing him the opportunity to discover what is truly good for him.