It Is Imperative That You Create One Too

There are at least 50 Markdown syntax guides[1] here on Steemit proclaiming they will teach you, better than any other guide, how to learn the Markdown syntax. Each guide earning hundreds to thousands of dollars all for telling you the same thing, only varying the words slightly that lead up to the point to where they all just copypasta the actual code you need to know.

They're All The Same

The code's no different from the last 49 guides, but this time the title says, "ELI5", "For Dummies" or "The Easiest" ... so you click it. What not one of the guides will tell you is that you're an idiot.[2] Why are you an idiot? Because you and many others continue clicking the upvote button on each one of these copypasta guides, wasting the funds that were to be donated to new user adoption when a Markdown syntax guide is linked to on the page where you post!

It's All Coming Clear Now

To find the guide use your eyes to look just right of the giant blue POST button and read :

"Styling with Markdown is supported"

At this point you're probably thinking, "but why would I click a link and stray away from the comfort of Steemit when I can read 50 guides saying the same thing here?". Oh young Jedi, you have much to learn you do. So go ahead, use your index finger on your preferred hand to click the link to see how to use Markdown from a guide that was written over 2 years ago. That's like 100 years in internet time, so it's like ancient wisdom from a sage!

Your Time Has Come

But alas, 95% of Steemit users for whatever reason will not see this link, and therefore will not click it. They will rely on another 100+ versions of the same regurgitated tutorial copypasta'd here on Steemit. And this is your big break! This is where you make your fortune, pay off your mortgage, put your kids through college and finally get to snort cocaine off of a hooker's ass for once in your pathetic life!

Smells Like Victory

To date over 20% of the $2 million in bootstrapping funds[3] for Steemit have been given to people who write guides on how to learn the Markdown syntax here on Steemit. That's $400,000! But you haven't gotten your share yet, have you? That's why you're reading this page now. You want to be a winner too. You want the pot at the end of the Markdown guide rainbow and now it's your turn! So stop reading this tripe and get out there and start making your own copypasta Markdown syntax guide! It's your turn at the plate, so go knock it out of the park baby!

1. Grossly exaggerated number for effect.
2. No offense. This is meant to be humorous, so lighten up!
3. Stat pulled from my ass, because you'll believe anything due to years of government indoctrination.

#guides #funny #markdown