Dude, you need to become the captain of your own ship,
the hero in your own movie!

Ask yourself:
Do you live for yourself or for your family and your father?

Maybe it is time to disconnect and make a radical change, I get it suicide seams like the first and most simple "radical change", but don't do that, there might not be much opportunity where you live, but maybe you could try and go on an adventure, maybe get a job as a deckhand on a ship and sail the world or just try something completely new and radical, step away from family and their expectations.