PANG

I am sweating. I’m sweating under air-conditioning. No one can see me sweating, so I guess I’m sweating inside. My heart is pounding furiously. Suddenly, I’m feeling itchy on my scalp. I won’t scratch, I promise myself but soon my hand rakes over my hair. I can’t help it as I stare at the cause of my present predicament. I stare with maddening disbelief, my mouth is dry and my tongue becomes patchy even as my effort to form saliva and swallow proves futile. I try to say something but I just open my mouth and close it.
Two thousand, one hundred and five naira the clerk’s machine reads.
Two thousand hammers my brain to pulp.
I dip my hands into my pockets to confirm my recent discovery. My pockets are empty. My squashed brains can’t reconcile the situation. I’m feeling itchy behind my left ear and I scratch even without thinking. I see the cashier smiling as she looks up. She’s probably smiling at me. If only she knew.
She looks at me with eager eyes. I’m not confused. I know she expects me to pay but I just stare at her dumfounded.
A couple of seconds and her look changes. She now wears a puzzled look. I find myself scratching my head again.

“Sir, your money please?” she finally asks.

I look at her with my mouth open but saying nothing. I probably look stupid but she’s looking stupider, quite unsure of how to proceed. It’s an awkward situation. Maybe I should just apologize and return the items I picked. Maybe not, I reasoned as I thought of the items in the bag. Surely, there must be a way out. What with the rice and barbeque I could still smell and the cool ice-cream I could almost taste melting sweetly in my mouth? Whoever would be foolish enough to have these items within his grasps and let them slip between his fingers?

“Sir”, the lady speaks up again still looking at me.

I pretend not to hear her.

“Sir” she calls again with greater urgency.

“Ehn?” I mutter pretending I didn’t hear her.

“Your money is two thousand, one hundred and five naira”, she says, pointing at the machine’s screen.

Fool, I can see it I wanted to say but I check myself.

“Okay” I reply, dipping my hands into my pockets for show.

I was only buying time for myself, waiting for something to happen. A voice far away keeps telling me to return the items and leave but I can’t. I mean I’m quite hungry and isn’t that obvious to this lady. But maybe she doesn’t know, that voice says. How could she not know? Even I could hear my stomach rumble.

“Sir, please there are others waiting behind you. Could you hurry up, please?”

Why couldn’t this girl just shut up and allow me think? Doesn’t she know I have no money on me? Isn’t that obvious? After all, looking at the yellow bag I could see written in red- ‘Shoprite… lowest prices you can trust always!’
What does it really mean? Lowest prices? Couldn’t the lowest price mean no price at all?

“Excuse me, aren’t you done yet?” someone askes behind me.

I turn to glare at a skinny girl with big plastic goggles for glasses. She must be crazy. Even now she acts and looks like a nut. Why is she shrinking back and staring at me that way? I turn fully to face her as I watch her. She seems to be scared of something. She’s moving back and dragging a guy along with her. He’s probably her boyfriend. I’m not surprised. He looks a bit crazy himself in that outfit. But why is she throwing furtive glances at me and avoiding my gaze still?
She’s whispering to the guy now. Wait I’ve seen her face somewhere before.

“Where?” I ask aloud scratching my head.

“Sir, please you have wasted enough of our….”

“O! PLEASE SHUT UP!!” I roar, wheeling round to face the lady clerk.

“CAN’T YOU SEE I’M TRYING TO THINK?”

She cringes back in fear. This is satisfactory. Probably she would now let me go in peace. Damn right, she has to! My hunger is now more than I can bear. Too much thinking has made it so.
But wait, who are these hefty men approaching? And why are they coming towards me?

“Jide!” I hear a familiar voice call me.

Looking up I see Skinny’s boyfriend approach me. Hold on, he’s not just Skinny boyfriend. That’s Dr Peters. The one that always said I was insane and he wanted to help me out of it. What was he doing here? And why were all these men with him? Suddenly, realization dawns on me. They are coming to get me!
Quickly, I grab my bag and make a dash for the door. People are screaming and jumping away but some men are chasing me.

“LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE!!’ I shout out of fear, running with all the strength I have left.

“JIDE WAIT! NO ONE WILL HURT YOU!!” the doctor shouts after me.

“LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M HUNGRY!! I JUST WANT TO EAT!!!” I also shout, clutching the bag tightly as I ran.

But the floor is slippery and soon I fall with a thud. The men soon come upon me with angry looks on their faces. Looking up, I’m surrounded by angry faces. Fear grips me even as I lung at one of them. I wasn’t going to let them touch me or take my meal away.

“Don’t touch him”, was the last thing I heard the doctor say even as I felt something hit me on the head.