THE INCIDENT

in #stach7 years ago (edited)

Hi guys, so this is going to be my first piece on steemit, please give me honest criticism and help me become a better writer.


THE INCIDENT


So I sat there all by myself wondering what to do, James hadn’t come to see me since i gave him the news that afternoon and I was beginning to get worried. “He’s abandoned me”, I said to myself. How am I going to survive this? How am I going to deal with this all by myself? I said. I picked up my phone and tried his cell again but this time it went straight to voicemail. The man must have turned his phone off, wouldn’t want his wife to notice that a random number had been running his battery down all day, least of all some small university girl who’s been having relations with her husband.

You see, James was the ideal 21st century Nigerian man (I2CNM as i like to call them) and by that I mean he was rich. His looks, age and marital status never really mattered to me, all I wanted was to be a constant name on his quickteller money transfer list. Yes….I’m that type of girl, at least I’m honest about it. Like all I2CNM, a wife was never enough for him, he had what I call the I2CNM starter pack which consisted of a loving wife with a bud in the oven, a finger print protected phone, a secret account which his wife must never know about, and finally a young hot university girl who would serve as the main reason for all his ‘business trips’.

I ran my fingers across my stomach as I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I knew what I was experiencing was as a result of what had transpired between James and I. “He’s the one that got me into this mess, and I’ll be damned if he doesn’t get me out of it” I thought. James was a wealthy businessman so he did a lot of traveling, thus whenever he told his wife that he had to go on a business trip she never batted an eyelid. About two weeks ago he embarked on one of his so called business trips and came to see me in Port Harcourt. He lodged at our usual spot, the Helena Haven, a small hotel close to my school which was relatively unknown to the outside world but popular amongst the locals. He always did that so our meetings would be discreet and the chances of him running in?to someone he knew would be slim.

Immediately he got to the hotel he called me and told me where to meet him. Instinctively, I picked out my sexiest dress, a dark red full length evening gown with an ungodly waist high slit, and a deep plunge, paired with strapped mauve stilettos. The dress accentuated my African figure and the stilettos made my legs long for days. The dress left my hips and breasts virtually on display for the whole world to see, but I didn't care, I was dressed to kill and everybody knew it.

0a065dbf55e9314dfe6025bf37b144c2--high-slit-dress-ball-dresses.jpg

To be continued tomorrow, so if you like what you see or feel i could do better, please let me know in the comments. Part two comes out tomorrow, same time, same place.

Picture gotten from https://www.pinterest.com/explore/slit-dress/

As usual, this is coming to you live from @stach office, Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria.

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I think this story is really good! I look forward to the next chapter.

I do some editing so I might suggest a few small things.

First comma should be a semicolon.

Always capitalize "I".

a loving wife with a bud in the oven

Bud or bun? Bun in the oven, is an expression meaning pregnant. Maybe bud in the oven means something I don't know about. Maybe he stores his beer in there!

Immediately he got to the hotel he called me

Immediately after he got to the hotel, he called me....

Other than those tiny things, looks great to me!

Thank you so much @kenny-crane, I truly appreciate your advice. I've taken note of all you've said and I'll be sure to not make the same mistakes in my next post.

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And you said it was horrible @francistagbo

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