I've been well. What's going on here these days?

My first instinct is to apologize for not being active here but if I'm being honest, I'm not sorry. Life has been much more demanding since I came back to Japan, though a lot less demanding than it used to be before I started on this journey of self-actualization.

I do more and more out of joy and less and less out of obligation. There still seems to be a lot of obligation around "work" but the cool thing is, a lot of what still starts as obligation turn into joy.

I'm actually enjoying my work these days. The salary was shit so I put in some more hours, feeling really resentful about it and really tired at first but now I'm getting used to it and actually enjoying it. In order to afford a short vacation I've been putting in even more hours. I'm tired again but I trust that if I just accept it i will come to enjoy it.

Getting upset about it sure didn't lead me anywhere. I crashed pretty hard for a week time but came out realizing that i haven't been consistent with my daily meditation....ever and 10-15 minutes is all I need to propel into awesome and infinite so...if anything sucks it's all on me.

This is not passivity. I take action when there is action to take. I asked for a raise and got it. I asked for a vacation and got it. I knew I would.

There is still some stuff I'm working on but these 15 minutes a day seem to be where the answer is at.

Recently I've felt inspired to pursue the idea of buying a branch of my school or starting a new branch as a partnership. That sounds like a bigger deal than it is but the school is tiny. I always want to explore life as an artist and writer and live in a place with those kinds of people but people seem to appreciate me much more as a teacher and more importantly, I have an easier time focusing when I believe I'm gonna be paid for what I doing. Knowing I'll be able to travel and eat is still more motivation for me than anything. Just being honest about where i am.

But buying the school will take a lot of work in a direction I didn't plan on going in. It's kind of a detour. It'll take time to build into something I like and it might mean moving away from art and music and writing for a while...but if this doesn't stop me, my own mind will because I've still got those traces of idea of lack in me, trauma involving my relationship with society and I think mending that is essentially to making a life that is fulfilling.

When I chilled out and meditated for the first time In while, immediately after a friend sent me a message saying she would give me her old iphone6 which is at least 3x better than my current phone. So that's cool!

How is dtube these days? I'm feeling a bit inspired to share stuff on camera and definetly prefer here to youtube. Does the app work without problems? Is anyone still around?