Wow, I'm sitting here reading and thinking "this sounds like my reality". A lot of these points are woven into the sub context of my work. And, it has felt like slowly untangling dreads (which I've done). It honestly got to the point of, my chemistry and nervous system IS priority right now. I can sometimes get lost, just drowning in the shadows (for weeks!). I DO need processing container - for my own functionality, and to prevent co-dependence. Your closing sentence sums it up so beautifully, and I forever deeply love those who have held that rope for me to climb out the quicksand of my own vomit and screams. I do want the light shone on these places, I do it all the time - at my own pace. And yes I will need support, and no I don't want to spend all my time there, and no I'm not pretending the work is already done. Feeling good on purpose is part of the work. When my physical and emotional body didn't agree that it was time to get better - thought it'd be cool to just continue on, in suffering - yes, the light is a tool. I have a right TO be Shakti when I really need that medicine. Along with the bi-weekly shadow dump, a bi-weekly Shakti dance sounds like a pretty well rounded week to me. These things help me do life - and after months of crippling depression, I need to do life <3