"...the ever living God out of me"
I LOVE that phrase. I will be stealing it no questions asked.

"...and God said, "I was right here." I cried like a baby."
This is the sweetest, most profound thing i've read this week. It resonates deeply.

"This made me mad. I slammed my hand on the ground and said, "Then why? Why is there suffering? Why are their people starving? Why oh why do we live in a tyrannical society where our government feeds off of our suffering? If you are all mighty and powerful, why can't we just live in peace?"
The quality with which we ask these set of questions brings so many people into our out of spirituality. When these questions are asked from an insincere or immature place they lead to nihilism and when asked in a humble way they lead in the exact opposite direction. Love that you added it.

"But finally, what I truly believe to be God answered me, and in the most child-like voice said;
"I'm learning." "
:')

That last picture from 2017 is so radiant. In it you remind me of a younger Pema Chodron. Pema is a western Tibetan Buddhist nun, she had a spiritual journey that in someways may be similar to yours.