I think changing our framing - or learning how to change our framing - is the most important aspect of becoming a happier person. The hardest part of this is to learn to recognize our framing in the first place. We're so used to looking at the world in a certain way, we don't even see the frame anymore. It takes a lot of effort to take a step back from our daily activities and our constant stream of thoughts and look at what is actually going on.

One thing that helped me do that is mindfulness meditation, but there's plenty of other ways to learn how to recognize our own patterns. Once you start seeing what is actually happening, you can slowly start to change those things.

My biggest discovery in the past few years was that I looked at everything through the frame of "I'm not good enough". I thought I wasn't welcome in social situations because I wasn't a nice enough person, so I withdrew myself. I thought I was just pretending to be good at my job, so I tried not to show when I didn't really understand something. It permeated through all kinds of small interactions in my life.

When I finally realized that was the way I was looking at the world, I started to change my frame. Whenever I encounter a new situation and I feel that fear of "I'm not good enough" creeping up, I tell myself that's just my old pattern. I can choose to let that go, and enter the situation in a neutral mindset instead. It takes a lot of effort, but it's helped me a lot.

Thanks for your post, it's actually given me motivation to write a post about this process myself :)