Human values: Right conduct (Love in action)-looking back
Human values: Right conduct (Love in action)-looking back
(For previous human value posts check @Clara-andriessen)
From the reactions I got to the post introducing this human value, and even from my own initiatory reaction, I found out that the words 'right conduct' are not everyones favourites, as they seem to imply some kind of judgement. It is possible that they even make our hair stand on end. 'Right conduct' what is that and who will decide that for me?!!!' The resistance coming up with this question is totally valid as in our evolution we are growing towards human beings that decide for themselves what is wrong and what is right behaviour by listening to our own inner compass. I will recite Mark Twain here once more:
"Laws control the lesser man, right conduct controls the greater one."
Mark Twain
So we are compelled to find out what is 'right conduct' for ourselves. It's a very interesting question that has made me realise that there are that many values inside of me for evaluating what is right conduct and what is not, that are not my own. They come from my culture, my teachers , my parents, siblings and even friends. This journey with this particular human value of 'right conduct' has made me find my answer towards the question: What is freedom, am I free. https://steemit.com/life/@clara-andriessen/the-ecotrain-speaks-what-is-freedom-am-i-free-by-clara-andriessen
My answer in short is this: As long as I am full of values which are not authentic I can not feel free to behave as I see fit according to my own inner compass. There are always voices in my head commenting on what I am doing, making me doubt, or even feel guilty. Don't get me wrong those voices are my own, because I internalised other peoples values in to my life, which may now exit the way they came, as I made up my mind, only my own values are allowed in my own being.
I think, with this, the sub values: responsibility, self confidence and self-sufficiency come in to view. A
I find it the utmost proof of responsibility to own ones own values.
I think self confidence comes when we are at peace with ourselves, which is most probably what will happen if we stop walking around with other peoples values in our system.
Self-sufficiency is what is needed when we are letting go of the need to please others by internalising their values.
When I thought about writing the evaluation post of 'right conduct', I though nothing much happened around it as I had mainly focused on simplicity as I was still not feeling well. But now I see I did more of the sub values then I realised!
So what did focussing on simplicity bring me?
Journeying with simplicity helped me realise that too much adjustment is far from simple. I 'm realy good at adjusting, I can make just about anything work if I really want, (this has also been referred to as my pitbull trait.) But is it what I want? It takes up a lot of energy to do so. What if I just mainly went simply straight ahead the way it comes naturally for me, with only the highly necessary adjustments in direction for the sake of being able to keep company of the people who are important in my life.
I am grateful for my new friend simplicity and will keep him with me on my journey.
Now, what were your experiences? I'm excited to know.
Two more human values to go to complete the five great ones. There will be a new post with a new challenge coming up soon! Keep in touch.
Love Clara
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I wonder why is being judged an issue at all.. Why does being judged make us feel so heavy?What is wrong with being judged if all that it means is that you get to hear someones opinion.
I would love my daughter to answer this one, OMG!!!
Well 'just' hearing someones opinion is perfectly fine, often there are unpleasant consequences if you don't agree though or at least that was the case when we were young and guided by adults that needed our agreeing. All grown up ourselves, it is our challenge to remind ourselves that no one can force us to agree anymore and that we are not in danger when we disagree even if it means the other person won't like us for it. If they only liked us for being agreeable, the love didn't go very deep.
I have that same "right conduct" concept embedded somewhere in my mind and have looked at that a few times (also "right thinking"). For me, the concepts are non-judgemental but that's only in my brain and when said or written, a kneejerk reaction can only be expected (esp right thinking, which sounds like brainwashing when it's not in this context). Completely agree that things are changing - it's almost like a handover period at the moment with everyone flying free and teachers like yourself having to take that into consideration - interesting challenges!
Hi Healingherb, thanks for your reply. Human values are all about tuning in to your own heart and asking: What is Love in speech, love in action etc? Were else can we find that answer? I am writing these posts in the hope that it will take people inwards towards themselves, not towards me or anything external.
Exactly - you take my point.
I do agree with the quote of Mark Twain, although I don't like to think in the terms of 'lesser and greater'. Everybody is on his own path through life.
I agree with you. All these skeletons of imposed thoughts need to come out of the closet. Unlearning is one of the keys towards freedom. Thank you.
Yay! Here's to unlearning and unschooling and all that! :-)
Yes. 20 years of education and a lifetime of unlearning. But it's a great journey.
This is surely a much more clear version of right conduct. It felt a bit strange commenting on it in your previous post but when I read this, we are all benefitting. The two aspects that make the difference and make me accept this totally...
Post is a good reminder of being oneself in a true sense. It is a process with many layers going back to early childhood. The end is true liberation but i find it a difficult process, i can honestly say i will probably never reach :-)
Aw, today I feel the same, as if I will never reach.. :-(
Thanks for your answer, your last answer has helped me get things more clear.
'Right conduct ' is actually one of the five human values extracted from the veda's by Sri Sathya Sai Baba and is present in all religions including Buddhism. This is what religions are all about, the rest is all the form it has been put it in. That's why I posted a picture from Buddhism last time saying the Dalai Lama promotes human values, NOT buddhism. To show that it's not Sai Baba alone who promotes them they are everywhere and they are our inner gems and the only really important thing in each religion or spiritual road.
Thanks for sharing @clara-andriessen. I am often finding myself influenced by the words of my partner's father, he is a good man though it can often seem that he is negative or perhaps not-so-good at influencing me on my life-path. Your article works to remind me not to question myself irrationally and to respect the words of others even if I do not agree.
Oh, Thanks, I 'm glad. Yeah I get that. Opinions from family are usually the hardest to dodge. But indeed we can just respect even if we don't agree. We can all be different that's ok and even interesting. I keep telling myself this whenever I disagree with someone and start to feel like somehow we should be agreeing.