Are Men Sex Monsters?

[No to Sexual Harassment, by Mira Shihadeh, Egyptian street art]

In After Zen, Jan Willem van de Wetering’s humorous, thoughtful account of his time at a Zen monastery, we meet monks behaving like adolescents in an all-boys boarding school. We learn, for example, from the gently disillusioned author that ‘Pam-pam was what the monks called the Western-type sandwiches I sometimes prepared in my room. The way sliced bread got cut, buttered and smacked together reminded them of [sexual encounters] they went after when they climbed the temple walls at night…’

Willem van de Wetering concluded ‘the sex drive does not get sublimated spiritually… sexual longing is programmed into human genes; frustrate it and it becomes demonic.’

If this is the case with Zen monks, what can be expected of Hollywood directors, executives, actors and comedians, where the "casting couch" seems to be a shabby, yet cherished, piece of furniture since the entertainment industry began. But, even then, who would have anticipated that the 93 year-old former President George H.W. Bush was getting handsy, from his wheelchair! Or that Garrison Keillor, nearly a national treasure, and admired TV journalist, Matt Lauer, would lose their jobs the same day, before we knew why?

The list is long and it goes on. Lately, every week an icon is toppled and their feet of clay exposed. The serious Charlie Rose a serial flasher? The gentle, spiritual Russell Simmons, now, stepping down from his Def Jam empire after another damning sexual assault allegation. All contrite (to be caught?) offering partial apologies, professing bad memories and faulty understanding of mutual consent. Most promise to soul search, get help and step out of the public limelight (though others don't, like Al Franken, Roy Moore, President Donald Trump).

As Simmons acutely noted, following his second accusation:

"This is a time of great transition. The voices of the voiceless, those who have been hurt or shamed, deserve and need to be heard. As the corridors of power inevitably make way for a new generation."

Yes, women are finally fed up and disinclined to keep silent any more, emboldened by the increasingly large numbers of sexual victims coming out of the woodwork --witness the overwhelming reach of the #metoo campaign, began by activist Tarana Burke, over a decade ago. The old excuses are wearing thin - 'boys will be boys' - and abuse of power is being called out, with more woman occupying positions of power and less afraid of the consequences of speaking up. Also, thanks, to social media 'the voice of the voiceless' is getting amplified and heard.

[via pixabay]

Times are changing, indeed, and along with them so are sexual mores and gender roles. What once passed for 'innocent' is being called to task. "I really loved the '60s and '70s when life was so simple and you could slap a woman on the butt and it was taken as a compliment, not as sexual harassment." This (tone-deaf) remark made by former INXS guitarist, Kirk Pengilly, brought on a Twitter storm.

To step outside the US, for a moment, to my other home, Egypt, I must ask myself: How did we (as Egyptians) go from allowing men in ancient times to take time off of work to care for menstruating daughters and wives, to modern Cairo being named the most dangerous megacity for women, just last month? Admittedly, this devolution took place in the space of a several millennia, and an unholy mix of insecurity, patriarchy, failed politics and volatile religiosity are to blame for our current predicament. Yet, corruption aside, Egypt is quite different from, say, India where modern-day matriarchies do exist alongside an alarming rape crisis.

[Francisco Goya's “The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters”]

So, where did it all go wrong? Were men always latent monsters at heart? An ancient Greek tragedist, Sophocles seems to think so - likening the male sex drive to being 'chained to a lunatic.' One way of taming this beast, we're learning, is to say enough is enough, which seems to be finally happening at this cultural moment - an overdue time of reckoning. The rules of the jungle are changing, and the line between aggressive, unwanted flirtation and sexual harassment obliterated.

Yes, history is littered with instances of powerful male figures acting badly, political actors and artists, alike. The difference, today, is that there seems to be public consequences, and for the slightest infraction. Women, and men of conscience, are standing up and saying: not in our name. Decades-long careers can, now, be destroyed overnight through public shaming.

No longer is the private life of a public figure viewed as separate from their work or art. It is difficult, for example, to laugh light-heartedly at the jokes of Bill Cosby or Louis C.K. without acknowledging how their sexual misconduct infects their art and smears their legacies. Furthermore, we are beginning to recognize that the depravity of our cultural heroes affects our core values, too; which is to say, what we're willing to overlook or pardon says a lot about our own priorities, who we are and who we wish to become.

"When scandal breaks, and we get to see the humanity of the great and the powerful revealed, naked and dumb in front of us, there’s always a cry for new rules or at least some new awareness that will prevent this from ever happening again” —Garrison Keillor, 1994

[Art by Agostino Arrivabene, Di-svelata Apopteia]