my brain is made of snot and pain

crazy enough for ya ?

gud, COS I DONT HEAR VOICES OKAY ... i dont see dead people

i cant describe it any other way

my name is CAT, not mud,

i make brusselmans blush when i speak ...

i think im gonna put this up on pastebin for 24 hours , so only the fans get to read it LOL (well actually that bit ends where this one begins so if you didnt read it i dont owe you an explanation and if you did

well then i dont owe you an explanation either ...)

HAHAHA,

yea that's probably the fever

but the previous wasnt

OWAIT, finally as i was getting a second bowl

OF SOUP, DUDE

...

the final stand stands
its the last one of its kind
there will be no more

pfff ... that wasnt what i thought in the kitchen but it will do, and more than you deserve

yè well that means its all or nothing, this or nothing, i wont play that game no more, i simply cant

if you got more threats or whatever, bring em , talk to the hand and try using that force and clout for something constructive instead of destroying what you cant control

i'm afraid i wont hold out til 5am today, im out of coffee its pretty much a miracle i'm still sitting here at the moment, i guess i'll pay the price tomorrow pft ... lets push that liquid into SP over ROI asap

bots who dont deliver dont HAVE TO COMPLAIN, i'll just take it elsewhere i have no message for your rich people morals or you shitting your pants for some ancient blacklist that will get you if you dont comply

el Gato yea i need a new sig-post too, i do

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_{powered by : @jumbot , @steem-ua , @steembasicincome , @incinboost , @koinbot}

well unless any of them chickens out ofcourse cuz "thats not how its done or something ..."

SHIN-SEKAI MOTHERFUCKER, you shoulda watched more one piece

---

yea yea last verse, i think i can feel my body disintegrating ...

i just wanna honour the soup since i almost feel sorry that i dont have canned soup for once

not for the ease

but because the only thing i can taste atm is enough tabasco sauce , yay lol

which doesn't honour this fine concoction as it should

i'm sure it tastes great

i made it after all (oh i got sense of humour left ...no im pretty sure it tastes great actually , its only soup after all, not haute cuisine)

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, i havent been this sick in i cant remember

YET , and YET it rises

no, not "that" thing, i think that's not gonna rise a couple of days with all the paracetamol , cough syrup and pain killers

hah hah hah

....?

sorry darling

i could use a nurse though, for once i could use a super playboy-sized rack Heffner would be proud of

just for a pillow ... the way it adapts to your head

there's really nothing like it

otherwise i'm more into petite

gravity's a bitch after 30 lol

OH DEAR, i must be delirious, talking women and all that

forget about it

why cant you just let me, even if i'm sick its push to talk ?

if you still dont see the complete flawless comparison to a protection racket where you're either IN, or you're ON THE LIST ?

i'll give you another one, the free thinkers and crypto-anarchists (lmao) , i have never heard anyone tell me "they did this or that" i only heard "they're on the list, so if they're on the list, then they will have ... "

crypto-anarchists sucking list dick and following blind orders

i think thats my best joke today yea ?

i actually do NOT want to get involved, i just want my fucking money so i can get my life back

there's plenty of time to talk after that

now, is it okay if i just crash, disintegrate and rise ?

id try for the third day but tomorrow is

just another day ...

---

4:24 am ... even when i'm half-dead and sick it still doesn't stop ?

that was definitely it's-not-possible-let-me-suggest-some-friends-in-drukkerland-gnome

we've been over this hundreds of times ...

1. i dont hear voices
2. i see a lot of zombies every time i open my window but i dont see dead people
3. if its not possible then you have ruined my life until my last day, then there is NOTHING that i want, and then i'm gonna do NOTHING and YOU, with all your power, and your strength, money and connections can either erase me since you can't control me or you can be sorry that you wrecked another talent from your world and go

jump off a cliff or something

i stopped caring

when i turned 40 and was still stuck in belgium

this will never pass until i'm out of here

with my cat

and my money

now ... i NEED sleep to recover

sleep

to recover

i am TERRIBLY SICK

and you're not making it better

4:38 ... still not enough ?

so this is 20 cents huh ?

i see

but i knew that already ...

you have no idea of the willpower i had to develop, shy allergic hayfever nerdy a+ grade kid in the far right ... VMO all around, guns ...

its not like that anymore, no, but i can assure you if some people in this town were given carte blanche they wouldnt ask to see the passports of muslims or africans before they ship them off and barely anyone would protest

THAT is still like that, no doubt

all that, always been a loner, in kindergarten standing against the wall, asking what the fuck they were doing kicking that can around ? i got off of heroin, i got off of coke, i got off of crack

NOT in a program ... when they let me out i was FOUR HOURS before i had my first hit ...

i got off of it

MYSELF ...

cos that was apparently the only way

the willpower i HAD TO develop, which makes me very much NOT suicidal btw, i have a Leonidas-complex
that's what i call it

no amount of force will bend that knee but a sledgehammer and once that happens,

the knee is broken , not bent

i had too much force, it doesnt work, most people are like dirty glass, even from 10 meters away, intentions are hard to hide in most cases for most

it doesnt work

i would have been out of here long ago, but all got fucked

time after time

and somehow i dont just start liking it for some reason

it doesnt work, it simply WONT

and i simply CANT pretend anymore, put me in one of those environments i give you a day and you BEG me to leave the way i am now

this is the only valid option and if i say that i'm not tryhing to "bend the world and the market to my will"

it means just that

this is the only valid option

and it means

if i cant get out of here because of all people did to hold me back here and here and there

then THERES NOTHING THAT I WANT

period

cram it in your head