Sndbox Summer Camp Writing - Task Two

Mia

Anne Applebee wrote all the key points of the meeting neatly in her day planner, the one she trusted more than her smartphone. On it, she would doodle from time to time. Random thoughts or patterns of her imagination. But as of late, the walls of loneliness had put a stop to it. Colouring her thoughts in two simple colours. Black and white. Her days were rather mundane. Filled with only work, which she now hated. Meetings upon meetings consuming her time, crushing her and diminishing her thoughts. The objects of joy gave her none and a void filled with emptiness and sorrow grew so wide that nothing would cross this hollow barrier. Her now lifeless heart pumped on.

"Anne, please stay back." His suit had not one wrinkle and yet his face bore the expression of anger. Yet his voice was always soft.

She smiled and sat back on her chair, reopening her planner and keeping her pen ready.

"You won't need that. Anne, Look at me."

"Uhm.....ye.....yes, right." She kept her pen down, folded her planner, all the while adjusting herself in the chairs she found comfortable. Cleared her throat and looked at him.

“You missed dinner last night. And the night before. H... How are you?”

“I am fine.” Her face stiff, rigid trying not to project the perpetual sadness looming within her.

He took a deep breath, looked into her eyes. "You can talk to me, Anne. Please talk to me.”

“I’m ok. Just been busy. A ton of work.” Her reply was instant. She kept it ready for most people who crossed her path.

“I understand." He paused for a moment, squaring up a pile of papers. "You are... wasting your life, Anne."

A wave of panic spread through her. Panic which turned into anger. "Do not tell me what to do. I know how to...so.." She dug her nails into her hands. Choosing to speak no more, trying to do no more harm.

"I care about you Anne."

For a moment the sparks of gave way to a smile which was noticeably small and yet it carried with it joy. Her anger disappeared as fast as it had come and tiny cracks bestowed upon her self placed walls.

"Take some time off, Anne. We all have to move on."

She smiled, looking into his eyes. Hers slightly blurry as she held back her tears. His, the same as they had always been. Darker than hers, carrying in them pain which he could not mask. She wanted to ask him, how he bore the weight. She never could. Looking down, she left.

The train for home was late. It never bothered her. She would stand, listening to music--one of the few uses she had for her phone. She moved into the carriage avoiding the rush of people. Some trying to get off, some trying to get in. She kept the volume just low enough to hear the name of the station announced each time the train halted.

It started with a jerk, her body rocking back with it. She looked down, then at the others. She did catch one from the sea of faces she could look at, staring at her. Smiling. Talking. She did not smile back or bother to listen. Simply looked away.

A station later she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned back to find the same man now signaling her to take off the headphones. She did, but only one. Not two.

"Can I help you?"

"No, Anne, I am here to help you."

She stared at him. Her mind running scenarios. Trapping itself in a fog of fear. Enough for her to kick him with all her might right between his legs.

He fell down holding his crotch, screaming. The train halted. She only looked back once. He screamed at her to wait, his voice fading as the gates closed.

She ran up the stairs. Breathing in the fresh crisp air. Her heart was pumping rapidly, her breath did not slow down. Yet the cold air, a thousand stars watching and people all around gave her hope that everything would be fine.

Right at the corner of the street was a giant sign. “Donut army.” Beneath it were five mouth watering donuts dressed up as army generals.

She stared at it for a while. How she got here was either a gift from the maker of the universe, or a curse. She remembered Mia, the one for whom she first felt love in a different way. The one with whom she planned an eternity.

The store was warmer than the snowy streets, warmer than her frigid heart. It spread across her, bringing with it an instant relief. Her heart did not thaw. Little kids ran around the “soft toys spot.” Some took bites from the donuts held by their parents for them.

She moved forward slowly, looking at all their little faces. She avoided the ones running, until one bumped into her. She caught the stumbling kid, careful to keep away her nails. Smiling at the scared face of the little girl whose mother came quickly and held her. Anne instinctively let go, nodding at the apologetic mother who was dividing attention between the two, more so at her daughter.

"It's OK," She walked to the counter digging her nails into her palms, only this time hard enough for her to puncture her skin. Her hardest one yet.

The line was short and she was greeted by the cashier. “Sam” read the tag pinned to his chest.
“Hello Sa--”, a tug on her cuff pulled her attention down, towards the same girl. Now smiling, showing her white teeth. Holding up a small chocolate for Anne.

"My..my mama says i should say tha.. thank you. " Her eyes looked all over the place, her face red and her voice sweeter than any donut in the shop. She hugged Anne for a brief moment and ran back to her mother, slowing down to a walk as her mother narrowed her eyes towards her.

Memories broke through the invisible dam in her mind. They were trickling through and pushing pins through her heart. The chocolate donut and the glazed one did not assuage her but rather pushed the pins deeper.

"That was her favourite. The glazed one. Wasn't it, Anne?" The man from the train walked towards her, carefully moved the chair without making noise and sat opposite her.

"Who the fuck are you? Why are you following me? I’ll call the cops." Her voice no longer smooth.Hands clenched, this time for a fight, and yet she wanted to weep.

The man remained silent for a while. Calm. "I am not here to hurt you, Anne. I help people feel what they shut themselves off from. The one thing necessary for life. I am a Cupid."

"Is this a fucking joke?" Her eyes teared up, her voice choked and her hands trembled as she tried to wipe her tears.

He took off a white glove with a golden flower drawn on top and stretched out his hand. His skin seemed burnt, riddled with tiny craters. "Trust me. You can always use your taser on me."

Fighting back tears, her body shaking, she held his hand. The walls inside of her broke down and a horde of memories and emotions burst through.

She wept. Holding his hand. For support, for love and for life. For comfort when she couldn’t find it anywhere. She wept, remembering the first day she saw the love of her life, Mia. She wept remembering the first day they held hands.

She covered her face. Alone again. Alone in a world filled with people. This time it was short-lived. This time held by him as she cried for Mia. For her her one and only love. Her life. Her world. She wept finally for the day she laid a rose on her coffin. Burying her hopes and dreams with her. Her family to come.

Fumes appeared from his hand. She let go of it, staring at him wide eyed, tears still streaming. His jaw clenched shut, face rigid. He put on his glove again and closed his eyes breathing in a sigh of relief.

“Are you ok? What was that?” She wiped her tears and looked at him.

“That was nothing Anne. Don’t pretend that you suddenly care about others.”

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” She didn’t wait for an answer. With a single swipe she threw down the donuts and walked out.

The cold air greeted her again. Small pellets of snow fell slowly to the ground. Taking their time. She looked around, her mind lost. Thinking of things she wanted to forget, she hoped had never happened. She stood at the intersection crying and the demon on her shoulder whispering only one thought repeatedly, "End it all." Her mind now only pictured Mia.
“Step back, Anne.” His voice thundered above the roar of the cars, the people, the city. It caught her, jolting her out of the trance.

“What the fuck do you want from me? Just go, whatever you are. And I do care. It’s all I ever did cared about everyone. Now I have nothing left to care about. It’s you who does not care about others. You prance around spreading love. I lost mine. Where were you? Where?” She no longer cared about the people staring. Of what she said. For a long time now she wanted to scream, to shout out at the world. For an even longer time she had held it in. Taking it, a penance for a non existent crime.

“I do not care. I. I.” He ripped off his glove. His skin seared and bubbled like on fire. “you see this. Do you see this.” He waved his hand around, his eyes tearing up. “Your pain, all of you, it hurts us physically. That is our curse. We care too much. So we try. We work everyday just so we can lessen your pain. That is what we have done for millennia. You people are never quenched. You find new ways to inflict more pain upon each other. You care not of whom you damage. Like you, Anne.”

His words were the hammer, her heart the nail. They tore into her. “How? I lost everything. Me-”

“That, that is why. Do you think that you were the only one who was affected by this. Do you think it was only your life she touched? You humans are so selfish. I see the pain of every human I meet. I try to cure your pain. I try to cure the pain of the people you destroy when you so selfishly cry about yourselves. I do-” His hands seized and he fell to the ground.

The flakes fell on him. Melting faster than the ones on the ground. He tried to gulp in air, he tried to breathe. His eyes transfixed at the sky.

She knelt beside him. Trying to press his chest. To pump air into him. Screaming at passers-by for help.

She saw the little girl opening the door with all her might. Standing by them. He twitched.

Her mother came behind her, shouting. “Come here, honey. Don’t look.”

Anne cried harder. She cradled his head in her lap. His eyes loosened their stare at the sky, and his body no longer rigid. His chest moved normally again.

“I am OK. I am OK.”

He got up, dusting himself off.He turned to the woman covering her daughters eyes. His fist closed.He brought it up to the girls face and opened it. Revealing a chocolate. Smiled and placed it in the little girls hand and hugged her. “Take care little one.”

The mother smiled and took her daughter back inside.

“What was that?” Anne looked at him, folding her hands for warmth.

“Sometimes it’s too great to bear. The pain, that is. It takes time to heal.”

She hugged him. “You were right. I was selfish. I have to go meet someone. Someone I had no right punishing. Come with me.”

“You have to do this yourself. We will meet again.” He stepped back. Smiled and walked to the end of the corner before vanishing.

“Taxi.” Her hands shivered as she hailed for it. Her eyes still running tears. She felt hope again.

The taxi reached the gate.The fountain opposite the entrance always seemed so grand to her. Right outside the door was the cactus she planted with Mia. It was laden with flowers bright red in colour. She smiled at the crack in the pot, remembering how it got there.

She rang the bell.

“Good evening, Miss Anne. They will be happy that you are here.”

She smiled at him for a bit then hugged him, “Don’t call me Miss Anne. No salutations Henry.”

She went in, past the piano where he stood staring at the garden and hugged him for a whole minute. She stayed there. “I am sorry,” letting go and looking into his eyes, “I am so so sorry,”

“No honey you have nothin-”

“I have. I am sorry. In all of this, I forgot.” she held back her tears. Yet they came. “I forgot that I lost my wife, my unborn daughter but you lost your daughter, your granddaughter. In all of this. I fought with you. I did not want to. I just….” She cried going back into his arms.

I thank all the lovely people over at @thewritersblock discord link for all their valuable feedback on this. Thank you so much.