Little Cherine Book 01 - BPost007

I could feel that I was acting like a spoilt kid and hated myself for being this way, but heaven had been so close that tears came every time I thought of what I had lost. I don’t know whether it made it worse for me, but I only realised what a heaven I was in once I lost it. The constant fear and emoting of Cherine, her vigilant watch over me, only served to remind and accentuate for me my loss.

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81

Dominique and Cherine explained to Alki. He was wise enough to not only understand my devastation, but to also not try to cheer me up. He tried his best for Cherine. He was intuitive and compassionate enough to realise that Dominique is also hiding a pain and included her in his caring. The three of them spent many hours together. I do not know how he justified to the other adults his abandonment of them, of the pall of misery lying over the young ones, of myself, but we were, in the main, left alone to sort out our own problems.

Two days before Christmas, Dominique found me sitting on a rock, my drawing pad and pencils untouched as I stared blankly at the pale winter sea, colourless as it reflected the clouds which covered the sky. I was just sitting, heart aching, for I had tried once more to convince myself I must not sacrifice everything just because I have lost a little of what I treasured. I reminded myself that Cherine is still the most important part of my life, but I acknowledged the truth while compromising, with the decision that I must finish with my pain (and grow up a little) before I return to Cherine and our dreams.

She sat next to me and immediately began to speak, “Robert I thought of something. The day we came to the island you lectured Cherine. You told her how important it is that she earn friendships, not manipulate people into liking her by her gift. It seems to me you need to take some of your own medicine. If Cherine cannot block you, as she could not before, wasn’t she being manipulated in a sense. Isn’t her love, your love, big enough to survive needing that kind of blind trust? Do you really prefer that she does not betray you because she cannot, or because she does not want to?”

I did not answer her and she presumed I was sulking, I suppose. She got into a rage. “How dare you, you bastard, you little shit! You lost something precious so that gives you the right to destroy Cherine! She only did it to protect you, if or whenever something causes her pain. Now you treat her as if she betrayed you, as if your relationship means nothing to you anymore. You fucking well know she cannot survive losing you. I’m sick of watching her heartbreak, of watching her have to feel your shitty moods. Roberto, you are killing her!”

Childishly I spitefully replied, “Maybe she better teach me how to block her, then she can live her own life without worrying about me.”

“God! I never thought you could be so callous.” I did not answer her. I felt Cherine like a wail of agony as she picked up my feelings. I felt my tears running down my face and suddenly Dominique put her arms around me. She held me for a long time without speaking.

“Roberto,” she whispered, “what are you afraid of. Are you afraid that if you cannot watch her all the time, that she will betray you one day as I did?” I shook my head no, but I thought about it. I decided she was wrong.

“What we had was beyond that. When you loved someone else, it meant our love as man and woman died, even if you still cared for me. With Cherine and I, it is not like that. If it was, do you think Cherine would have invited you, even pleaded with you to join us? My love for you does not detract from the love I have for her. My joy, my love for you only add to her joy, to my love for her,” and in wonder I added, “and to her love for me.” We were both silenced by this thought for a while.

She broke me out of my thoughts with a prompt, “Then what?”

“She is so much wiser than me, I would never have realised this on my own. I can see it now. If she loves someone else, falls in love, I would not resent it, for I would feel her feelings. I will have suffered and had the joys as if it were I who were in love.” This unfolding of a new truth, a new realisation, though it shocked my moral senses, suddenly crashed. “Yeah,” I added harshly, “if she does not decide to block it off.”

“Why should she? If such a love would only add to your love for each other, why would she? You know what a big heart she has.”

Sheepishly I finally looked at her. “Because if I could, I would have blocked her off from my feelings for you. Not now, I’m talking about before I saw, I mean before, when I still thought she would be jealous of you. Keep quiet…please”

82

I thought and tried to see my own motives, the reasons for my misery, more clearly. To search underneath them. I realised I could not. The way of thinking, the discarding of normal, or what are accepted as normal instincts and fears that we human beings have, I am still prey to them. My own terrors that grew from losing my mother, from a cold and distant father, from friendships lost and betrayals of love, these had all set my character in ways that were not, should not be a part of my relationship with Cherine. How can I break out of them, adapt to something so new to Mankind, without some kind of guide, some help? A lifetime of analysis cannot guarantee to do this; on my own, what are my chances? Then I had the thought, I do have help, I am not on my own.

I first sent a tentative feeling of love and yearning for her to be in my arms. I felt her receive it. I felt the dam break and her uncontrollable weeping. I felt that someone was trying to soothe her. Who could it be? Her mother? No, I decided, it must be Alki. Only he understands and cares.

I tried to explain, brokenly, my thoughts to Dominique. I was not making much sense, but then, even I did not truly understand, I needed more time. When I mentioned about my parents, about friendships and the betrayals of love I thought the last might hurt her, but I saw her compassion was far greater than her pride or insecurity. My heart went out to her and I pulled her into my arms.

“Thank you my Dominique. Thank you for being who you are and thank you for caring about me, about us.” I looked into her eyes, “You actually do love Cherine!”

She blushed, but her eyes were glowing. “Almost as much as I love you. As much as if she were my daughter, or my little sister.” Tears came to her now. “Oh Roberto, we must hurry back to her. She has been so unhappy.”

“You keep forgetting, don’t you? She knew before you did. But yes, we must hurry, we all three need to be held.” I pulled back and looked into her eyes, “A little shit, Dommi? Really?” It was lovely being able to share laughter with her again.

One of the benefits of our union, of the gift of Cherine, is that we never have to search for the other. We can sense the direction or even the actual place where the other is. We went directly to the house. Alki was at the door, waiting for us.

“Something has happened, nai? Be careful Roberto, she is with her mother. Remember, she is a lioness and she knows you have hurt her cub.”

“Shit! What do I do Alki? Dominique?” I was terrified. If she knew, I would lose my baby, my love.

Dominique took my arm, her face gentle. “Roberto, when will you learn to trust her?”

“She is not a goddess Dommi, she is a child. What can she do? Oh god, her mother will stop her from seeing me again!”

Alki smiled. “You really think she can? You think anybody can? Ach vre malaka, she is a little goddess and she loves you. What more do you want?”

Overwhelmed I hugged him and Dominique. “If we survive my malakies, it will only be because my goddess and I have such wonderful people to love us.” I gave him a kiss on his cheek.

“Roberto, before you go to her, can we talk? Here, in the sitting room. From what happened here and seeing the two of you now, I sense you have come to terms with what happened, the, what you call blocking? Ah yes. You are worried she blocks you when she does something she does not want you to know about? Like all us poor men, you have to worry if your woman is being honest with you, or true to you? But you are not like all us poor men, you have something special. You would know!” He was smiling now, triumphantly. “Roberto, you are a good artist. Very good. A great imagination. But with people you are a vlakas (idiot). And for using your brain logically, you are like all artists; useless!”

“Okay master. Enlighten me.” I was happy, I could sense my Cherine coming to me.

“She can never block you without you knowing, nai? So, how can she use it to hide anything from you? If you ask her why she blocked you and she lies you will know!”

83

Cherine was at the door now. Mainly speaking for her benefit, I answered Alki, “You are making the same mistake we all did, and by that I mean especially me. Normal people, their biggest fear is that their lover or their friend may betray them, may love someone else. That is not true for Cherine and I. We can never betray each other. To betray another person, that person must be a separate person. For betrayal you need at least two people. The one does it to the other. With Cherine and I there is no two people. We are almost just one. What there is of us that is not one, is just enough for us to be able to love each other. Think Alki. If what you feel is what I feel, what else is there? It is not betrayal I fear. It is not the need for trust that causes me such anguish. We can never stop loving each other. We can never stop liking each other. We are too deeply within each other for that to happen. We can annoy each other; we can, though it is difficult I should imagine for it to happen, irritate each other. But the one causing the annoyance or irritation will feel it.

No, nothing normal or petty as that can tear us apart. When you understand the other person and their needs, as deeply as we do, their need becomes your need. I need, and Cherine needs, to feel as one. We need to know what is in the darkest corners of the others’ mind. There can be no feeling that we do not share, else we are no longer truly one. It is the possibility that now exists of that happening which did not exist before, that frightens me. I have come to realise though, even if the possibility exists, even if she is a strong personality with a mind of her own, as obstinate at times as I can be, our love is so deeply ingrained in both of us that nothing can pull us apart, back into becoming two people again. We are one, but more than one, for we can bring others in to extend our circle of love.”

Now I could turn to my love and let her see the love in my eyes, just as she could see it in my heart. I turned and saw her standing there, her eyes shining and her hand held by her mother. Her mother’s face was white as chalk. I felt I was going faint with the shock. Alki got up to go to Marian. Cherine let go and ran to me, throwing herself onto my lap and hugging me.

This seemed to release Marian, she brushed by Alki and grabbing Cherine she flung her away from me, screaming. “You fucking pervert. I’ll kill you.” Her nails scratched across my face. Cherine stared at the lines of blood and there was a feeling of sickness in her. Marian turned around to Dominique and Alki. “You knew about this. You are all fucking perverts. I’m calling the police and having you arrested. Even in this fucking country they don’t allow men to rape children…”

Before she could carry on, I heard myself scream, “No Cherine, don’t.” Her mother staggered. Cherine had lashed out with such power that Alki collapsed, and Dominique and I who were sitting could not move. Marian crumbled.

I was the first one able to move as Cherine obeyed me. I rushed first to Alki and seeing he was alive, his eyes dark circles in a bloodless face, I helped him up and to a chair. I whispered to him in Greek, “The cub is fiercer than the lioness it seems.” He gave me a wan smile, but I could see fear in his eyes. His fear frightened me, for Cherine and I cannot afford to lose his friendship.

I managed, with Dominique’s help to raise Marian. As we seated her, she stared at us and the venom, the hatred was plain to see. I sat down opposite her and Cherine came and tried to sit on my lap. I made her sit next to me. My heart gave a beat of gratitude when Dommi came and sat with us. I knew that Marian would not listen to anyone else, so I marshalled a few arguments.

“Marian, if you wish to call the police, you are welcome. There is nothing you can accuse us of, except of loving your daughter,” I lied. Cherine’s emoting relaxed a bit and I was glad she was not upset by my lie.

“I heard you talking before you saw me. You think I’m stupid? Talking about lovers and being one with her, about extending the circle…you are disgusting, you and this old man, disgusting. As for you miss, I suppose you are part of this circle also. How could you?”

“You heard me talk about my love for her and her love for me and how the circle of that love was extended by these two wonderful people. Do you really believe Marian, that only you have the right to love your daughter? She is a human being and has the right to be loved by the whole world, if possible.”

“You are lying. A doctor will soon be able to prove you are liars. And I will do that. You wait and see!”

Sadly I told her, “You must be a very sad and lonely woman if that is how you see love.” I then angrily retorted. “You are welcome to get any bloody doctor you want - all you will do is humiliate and hurt Cherine.”

84

She got up furious. “Cher, you come here right now. We are leaving. I said…”

“Sit down before we make you!”

“You and who you little twerp.”

“Me and Cherine.”

“What! You dare threaten me that my daughter will attack me, you think she is so degenerate because you stick…”

“What do you think hit you and Alki before? What knocked you off your feet? Did you see me move? Before you make a fool of yourself, sit down and listen. You can go to the police if you want later. But listen and you might learn how special your daughter is.”

“No Robert. Please!” Cherine was distraught.

I whispered softly, knowing her fear. “We will not talk about your father. Anyway, she probably will not believe us. But she has to be told about how you are special, we do not have a choice anymore. Also, she is the only one who can protect you. She is your mother.”

“What lies are you trying to feed my daughter! Cher you come here now.” As she reached for her, to pull her away again, I quickly said to Cherine, “Now, do it again.”

The attack was not so violent this time, at least not for us. She was focussing better I saw. I was suddenly grateful she loves me so much. At times when I have hurt or angered her, she could have done this to me. I was amazed at this new discovery of her powers. Every time I think I understand it's boundaries, she catches me by surprise, but not with fear anymore, thank goodness. Cherine felt my awe of her and my love, and she lost her sickly fear. I felt her self-pride, her self-esteem, grow. She hugged herself to me, warming me with her love. From the love I was receiving, I spoke gently to her mother.

“Marian you have created a miracle. Please join us in trying to protect and nurture her. For her to grow up a whole person she needs your love, but she also must have the love of strangers, people who are not family, yet love her. Please allow us, welcome us and our love for her into your lives. We will never do anything to harm or hurt you or her in any way. Look at the faces of those around you, can you truly believe that any of us would harm her as you fear, or do you see faces of people you have come to know, to like even - if we are so lucky, who you know are decent and caring. Surely every parent dreams of creating a circle of love around their child, to strengthen and protect them? That is all we are trying to do.”

“She is a child of the devil!”

“No, she is a child - did not Jesus say that all children are innocent and the gates of Heaven are open to them? She is a child with a gift, a talent that is unique. I personally believe she is the future, a way for mankind to grow and turn into a higher and better life-form. Imagine a world where we can feel the pain and hunger of others. A world where the crying of a child touches every heart. Think of the world as it is now, compared to the vision her coming presages. Oh Marian, I have made a mistake and jumped the gun. Please give me a moment to explain what the gift of your daughter is. If you do not see it as the blessing it is, that we do, then you are free to do what you wish. We, Cherine, will do nothing to stop you.”

I turned to Cherine. “Can you do the same thing you did on the yacht, to help me after I was sick. I am ready if you are - Alki, are you up to it?”

“If I had a prayer it was that I would be blessed to feel that love at least one more time. If I am ready I do not know. How can anyone be ready to be part of such a miracle. Sorry, I am an old man and I talk too much. Yes, please go ahead.” I looked at Dommi and she smiled nervously, but with anticipation. Marian watched all this with suspicion, but seemed frozen to her seat, obviously afraid.

“I am ready Cherine baby. Take my love and yours, then all the love of everyone else in this room and send it in that golden glow. As a gift to those we love, as a thank you for all they have suffered on our behalf.” My love for this beautiful child swelled and I felt her take it.

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She whispered, but all heard. “Just that is strong enough” and then I felt her return it with all the love she has, and I was enslaved by feelings that should have been impossible for one heart to hold. She took it and added those of Alki and Dominique and sent it out, swirling and glowing, trapping all as it fed on itself and grew and grew. When I thought I would die from love, she finally took control of it and gently brought it back to levels humans are used to when they are at their best. I wondered why there were tears falling from their eyes when I realised my own eyes were streaming.

When I could talk again, I gave Marian the full explanation, explaining also what it must have felt like for Cherine growing up with all the pain and beauty of feelings, emotions that those around her emitted. Of the loneliness as she discovered her gift is unique, of her fear. Of how I grew to love this solitary child and the miracle of her growing to love me before we discovered my ability to share her gift, to send and receive. After that, after we had shared our innermost selves, it was impossible for us to separate, to be afar. I do not think I could have spoken so without the glow of love that still seemed to permeate the room.

I told her then of how we think the world will react, of the prejudices, of the fears that people have of anything different, of how they will destroy her. I was careful not to allow any hint of the physical love that consumes us. Of how this feeds our love, bringing our souls to a communion. Of how it is necessary so as to prevent us from forgetting our individuality and sinking into a oneness that could destroy us. But I did tell her what the effects would be if anyone tries to part us. I did tell her, and thus Cherine and all the others, of my fears for the future should death claim one of us. I went to Marian with tears streaming and begged her forgiveness for possibly condemning her baby girl to a shorter life, for, as I explained I am bound, accidents barred, to live a shorter number of years.

I think when she saw my agony and pulled my head down onto her lap was when she understood and accepted. Cherine cried with me, but her tears in my heart were for me, for the burden I had tried to hide from her.

“I can’t very well argue that I don’t believe you, not after what you have put me through.” She looked up at Cherine, “I never imagined you had so much love in you baby. Was any of that for me?”

“As much of it as you want mummy.” She did not run to her mother, she just sat there, a wary look in her eyes. “But Robert did not tell you everything. If he did maybe you would not want any of it.”

Marian then showed she is capable of some sensitivity. She did not call for her to sit next to her and she did not ridicule her statement. “What makes you think anything could make me not want your love, as much as you can give me?”

“You guessed…”

I quickly interrupted, I could not afford to let her mother give the wrong reaction. I may have done her an injustice, but I was not prepared to take the chance. “She thinks she is responsible for the death of her father. At the time when you must have been distraught with grief, you blamed her and she has been carrying that guilt with her.”

“But…”

“Let your mother tell you Cherine, don’t try to make her say what you want to hear. It is better she tells you the truth as and because she wants to. If she blames you, our love is still with you. We all will share the guilt with you.”

Marian was openly weeping. Finally her heart had been touched. “Oh my baby, I’m so sorry, so sorry. How can you ever forgive me. It was never your fault, I was to blame, not you.”

“You do not…”

“I told you, it was my fault. I chased him away. Cher your father did not love me and I was sick of his lies. He only stayed as long as he did because he loved you so much. He kept saying you needed to be protected - like he knew the first thing about protecting a little girl.” She could not resist adding that last bitterly.

86

“Marian her father knew of the gift. However, he made some wrong assumptions and in his protectiveness he filled her with fear, to the point where she could not make any friends, as she feared they would learn the truth and betray her. He was wrong in not encouraging her to be what she is and to be loved. Thank god, that has changed, now she has friends from school for the first time and she has us all.”

I got up and returned to Cherine, took her hand and returned to Marian. Cherine just stood there until Marian put out her arms. Cherine fell into her arms and began to sob uncontrollably like her little heart was breaking. As I expected, it was not long before she was fast asleep. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. Marian was looking at her so tenderly I could not resist caressing her cheek and motioning the others to follow me, we left the two of them to bond.

Once we were out of the house and on our way to the main plateia, with Marian out of sight, I relaxed. It helped that I could feel how happy Cherine is. When I first saw Marian and realised she had heard me, I had felt so damn stupid…never mind the scared part. Now, I would gladly go through it again another ten times if it has made it possible to feel my sweet girl so happy. Obviously Alki was also waiting for us to be on our own, for only now did he express his feelings.

“To think that I should twice feel so much love at my age. Se efcharisto Theé mou.” Alki crossed himself. “I think you young people are planning to kill me with love eh? Then where would you be young man, who is going to do your dirty work for you? Aha, there are your parents Dominique.” He waved to them and they joined us.

Her mother took one look at her daughter and turned and hugged me. “You asked her to marry you! She said yes! I am so happy for both of you.” She kissed my cheeks.

“Mamá…”

“I want to, but she has not said yes. Anyway, I cannot really marry her, I have been…”

“Mamá, you leave him alone, I will not marry him. But I will be living with him from now, I love him.”

Now that set the cat amongst the pigeons. Of course I was grateful to her. I had started speaking, proposing if you will, without thinking, then I thought, if I marry my Dommi, how do I marry Cherine, and I faltered. Of course we now had very angry parents to contend with. But that is my Dominique. Her honesty was bound to get her into trouble sometime and of course she chose the one time that would get me into trouble also. But it was par for the course. Who cared! I was too full of joy. She has agreed to be with us.

I felt Cherine, puzzled at my happiness. Without planning it we have sort of developed a code for various situations and people. I used the emotion for Dominique and tied it to my great happiness. She must have guessed, for I felt her immense joy and then her pouring of love to Dominique. Poor Dominique was in the middle of an argument with her parents when she got hit by the shock-wave of love and was dazed with confusion. I laughed aloud and found myself facing two furious parents. Alki decided retreat was the better part of valour and excused himself. As he walked away I called to him, “Coward!” and laughed. He quickly walked away without answering.

The result of the argument was that the parents of Dominique chartered a boat to take them across to the mainland, vowing to cut her out of their will. She just laughed, reminding her father that she is already wealthy, he had set up a Trust fund for her years ago. They then threatened to have the Authorities deport me, but she told them that she would leave with me and they would never see her again. Her mother cried and kept asking her ‘why are you doing this to me’. As for me, I did not escape unscathed. They said they had brought a snake into their home and other such things. I did not argue, but I refused to be apologetic. Finally they left.

Despite my heart blossoming at having my Dommi, I felt sad. The instant reaction of joy when her mother thought her daughter was marrying me showed me that her parents do, or did, now, love me. I was filled with guilt at the pain I was causing them. I could not see that I have any options, but it did not prevent me from feeling I’d treated them shabbily. Dommi must have felt me or seen my pain in my eyes for she put her arm through mine and held her body against me.

Cherine sent on to me the sadness of Dominique as she watched her parents leave. While I was touched by it, I could not help marvel at my little wonder girl. I know she monitors every nuance of feeling / emotion I have, permanently, even in her sleep, same as I do, in my limited way, with her. But now, I realised, she is monitoring Dominique at the same time. How can she? What must it be like in her mind. I wondered for a moment what new surprises are waiting for me.

87

We both wanted to return to Cherine, but I felt we owed it to Alki that we find him and explain what has happened. I expected to find him in the plateia, but he was not. I then saw him sitting at a bar, which made sense since a cold wind was swirling around the plateia. We joined him and he looked at me, waiting for a report. I told him what happened, of why I cannot marry Dommi and of the decision by Dommi to stay with us, anyway.

He took her hand in his. “Dominaki mou, if I were your father and did not know about Cherine, I also would be heartbroken. I do not see how you can explain to him while Cherine is a child and it grieves me that your parents will have to suffer without knowing the reason. On the other hand,” he gave a stiff smile, “if you have to choose to live with a man without a wedding, then I feel you made the right choice, Roberto has a very good heart.” He grinned, his eyes laughing at me as he added, “A good heart, but also a bit of a malakas!” Dommi smiled her agreement. It would not have been right of me to also agree, so I kept quiet.

They both spoke briefly about me as if I were not present, but since all of it was very nice, I did not object. If there is some place in my mind where I can permanently store certain memories, this conversation will definitely be stored there.

As we returned to the house, Dominique with her head on my shoulder, I reminded her of what is bound to happen tonight. I joked that we are having too many crisis; with the two of them and only one of me, and Cherine driving us crazy with the flares of her lust, they are going to wear me out.

“I think your problems are much bigger than you realise,” she deadpanned, “I now realise why Cher gets so lusty, I’m feeling the same way. It was a big decision I made today and I am afraid, but it is also making me full of passion. Poor Robert, two horny females for Cher to do her magic with.”

“We will have to develop words to describe what she does. Oh well, at least her mother will have a good night’s sleep.” From joking, my voice turned to awe. “Dommi, how does she do it? She is monitoring you and me twenty four hours a day. How does she also monitor her mother - especially at such moments while she is amplifying our senses, our passions!”

“You are asking me? I do not even understand how you can feel her all the time! You are both doing magic as far as I am concerned. Cherine has managed to help me feel her - or you, I think, but I suspect it was not nearly as strong as what the two of you can share. What is it like Robert? I mean to be able to feel her emotions all the time and still have your own feelings?”

“It is very difficult to explain. I suppose it must be something like being a schizophrenic. The easiest explanation would be to say each person’s emotions have their own signature. Their own flavour maybe. For instance I recognise yours when Cherine passes them on, even though they are flavoured with her passing them on. I would love to experience yours in their pure form, they taste coolly delicious, like warm honey-drenched loukoumades with a hint of cinnamon.” I teased. She laughed, a bit embarrassed.

“Sometimes though, Cherine can send her emotions, or everyone’s emotions to me and they feel like they are mine. When she sends the gestalt emotions that have passed through the circuit a number of times, blown up so to speak, they just ‘are’. Too powerful for anything else to exist - though, at times, I’ll still get a hint of whose emotions I’m experiencing. I wonder whether the hint I think I’m getting is not due to my seeing and knowing who is part of the experience, perhaps we should create a ‘blind’ experiment with at least one participant not in the room and known only to Cherine.”

We walked on and as we reached the door I finished off, “Actually, though I can sense her emotions as being separate from mine, they do influence my own emotions, the same goes for when she sends yours to me. In a way, the effect is similar to the way a smile or a frown can alter your own feelings. I’m sorry, I cannot find a way to make it clearer. Just let me say this, even though I know everyone considers my attitude an abnormal fixation…so it embarrasses me to talk about it. When we make love and our saliva is blended, when the emissions of our sex organs are mixed or swallowed, our sweat mingling on our skins, those are part of the excitement for me of symbolically becoming part of my lover. Having the flavour of Cherine’s emoting blending in me, even if it alters me without my express permission, is a far sweeter joy. It is addictive, worse than any drug. I’m hoping it will soon become the same for you and me.”

88

She finally found the courage to tell me, “Robert, you must please help me. I do not want it to be so, but I still get the feeling that some things about sex are a bit yukky. Can you help me to feel the same way as you?”

“You mean like having my semen in your mouth or swallowing it?”

Her face a furious red, she could hardly manage the “yes”.

“Would it help you feel less self-conscious about it if I admitted that when you passed my semen into my mouth, I had to force myself not to feel revolted? I’m also having to adjust, to become what I believe, so give yourself the time and at whatever level you stop adjusting, we’ll adapt to suit you…and yet,” I gave her a smile, “I saw no disgust in tasting any of Cherine’s - even when you thought it may be urine”

“But she is just a child!”

The door opened. Cherine stood there, with that magical mysterious smile of hers. “I’ve been standing here listening to you two. You both feeling naughty again?”

I laughed, “You can’t put your mother to sleep from now, so control yourself you little sex-fiend.”

“Sex-fiend! I’ll show you tonight!”

“Oh no you don’t. You’ve both had your turn at experimenting. I’m not going to be your guinea pig again tonight.”

“Says who?” Dominique retorted to Cherine’s glee.

“Dominique, I need your help. You saw that mysterious smile of hers when she opened the door? She keeps on enchanting me with it and I do not know what it means. Do you?”

“She is not going to tell you, she is also a woman.”

We all laughed, including Cherine, at her self-classification of being a woman. While I laughed, deep inside somewhere, I knew she is more woman than most. I don’t know what she sensed, but she raised herself on tip-toe, pulled me down and gave me a kiss on the lips. I grabbed her hair and brought my face to it, inhaling the scent of my child love, rejoicing in the luxuriance of their silkiness. I felt the cool fingers of Dommi on the back of my neck.

I know that Cherine is and will always be the center of our love, for both of us, Dommi and I. Sometimes though, they make me feel as if I am that center and there is such sweetness in it for me I feel my heart about to burst.

“Where is your mother?” Dominique asked.

“Waiting inside.” Again that smile. I noticed this time even Dominique was fascinated by it. Then she turned to me and laughed. “You poor man. You really have no chance.”

Cherine misunderstood. “No, it is alright now. She isn’t cronky anymore.”

Dommi looked puzzled. “Cronky? Haven’t heard that one before.’

“I made it up long, long ago. You know Robert?”

“Yes, I can see how it may have sounded just right. Let’s go see her and then I’d love some supper. I’m starving, plus I am going to need all the extra energy I can get just to survive tonight. Cherine, you be careful, don't push us too high tonight, Dommi here is already bursting with lust. I got her into trouble with her parents and now I think the reaction has set in and she is ready to tear us to pieces.”

Dominique was blushing again and Cherine only answered, “You can be cruel sometimes” and walked into the house.

“Shit, guess I’m in trouble.” I whispered.

89

Dominique laughed. “You’ve got a talent…propensity for it. How come you never did in the old days? I might have found you more interesting,” she teased. I pinched her bum in retaliation.

Marian was subdued in a way, but she did have a lot of questions. We tried to answer them as honestly or fully as possible. When the girls went to get Alki for supper, she grabbed the opportunity, as I had feared she would, and asked me, her voice urgent, “I know you suggested I have a dirty mind, but I have to ask you, just this once please, have you touched her or done anything you should not have? I must know!”

I was deeply troubled. I find it so difficult to lie to a direct question under these circumstances, but I knew an honest answer would be catastrophic. I decided to temporise, to muddy the waters a bit, but tell her enough of the truth for it to camouflage whatever she sees or senses when I’m with Cherine.

“Not in the way you are thinking. Marian, you have felt some of the power her emoting can generate. Imagine that emoting being returned to her with the surge of my own emotions, that then causes a reaction in her and that total is returned to me. Repeat that process a number of times. It is not only powerful, it is overwhelming. Sometimes I feel myself disintegrating. I am not as strong as her, I could very easily disappear. Even when she returns us to normal, I vibrate between existence and non-existence. The most powerful anchor for the soul is the sensation of the flesh. Of touching and being touched. It is a hunger such as you cannot imagine. As it is, she is so small she almost cannot help me. With Dominique helping recently, yes, but alone I tremble on the borderline for too long and cannot return. What is frightening, is that Cherine senses directly what is happening. Can you imagine the effect on her should I disappear?

She has told me of the effect of trying to re-assemble her father, bring him back when he died. I can see you did not know. Remember she fainted? In our case, we are linked, if I disappear I am afraid she might follow me. I could say that touching is not sex, and it is not, in the usual sense. But the tactile sensations are so strong at those moments that sex pales before them. Perhaps you are wondering, why do it if it is so dangerous, if I have nearly died a number of times? It is a part of our being linked permanently. We cannot avoid it. Just as we cannot be unlinked, not even by death. Two times I tried to break the link as I was afraid I might be harming her, and I went into shock at just thinking of trying to and I nearly did die. Only Cherine was able to pull me back. When the one dies the other will, or at best (I think of it as worst, not best) the one may survive, but as an empty shell only, burnt out.

Just in case you wonder why if I have Dominique do I need Cherine, remember, Cherine also needs the tactile anchoring. I cannot, in all honesty, answer your question and say, no, we do not have sex, but only that it is not actually sex in the normal sense…and I have no wish to penetrate her, not until she is older - god, that was embarrassing having to admit it to you. Marian, your daughter is not only my life, literally, linked as we are, she is all I can ever truly love and adore. There is no way I can do anything to hurt her, physically or mentally. My craving is to do all I can to see her develop into a full mature woman, not just a freak with powers. If she does not, my life will be hell. So to scar her by having sex, to use her for my own gratification by molesting her is totally anathema.”

“I don’t know what to say or do. What am I supposed to do Robert? She is my little girl, my baby, but I am lost. This is all too new, too strange. I do not know what is right for her, what I can say no to, or not.” She began to weep and I knew she was unhappy about the little I had admitted to, not about what rights she has.

“We’re all in this together Marian, we’ll learn because we have to, for Cherine’s sake. The promise of what she will become is fragile, her future depends on those around her. Showing her that we fear her is the worst way we can damage her. All I can suggest is that you allow your love for her to be your guide - that is what she needs most from all of us right now. If it helps Marian, she does sometimes call me daddy.” I felt shamed by my manipulation of the truth and her. I, the one who had just days ago chastened my love for doing the same.

It was the right thing to say. She drew comfort from that. Just hours ago she probably would have been furious to hear me say that, I reflected. Such is life with all it’s twists and turns. Again I saw I will have to be more flexible in my rules with Cherine. More difficult will be learning that I must learn to do the same with myself, or else my sense of guilt will harm Cherine.

After the many stresses of the day it was quite astonishing how much everyone ate, once we got started. After the big meal, we all seemed to need an early night. Marian asked Cherine to sleep with her. Of course Cherine agreed and as they walked off she gave me the same wiggling of her fingers behind her back reminding me of when we first met. How strange and innocent those memories feel now.

90

Dominique had no reason to pretend. She came with me directly after kissing Alki goodnight. I was so alive to Cherine I could feel my vibrations encompass Dominique. I had to break this, we have to wait for Cherine. As she went to the bathroom, I felt the sequel to my first creation of the Kaleidoscope World come to me. I grabbed pencils and paper, not having my computer, and sitting by the window began to furiously sketch, smear and colour. Dommi returned, saw me and silently got into bed. She did not make a sound, did not try to distract me. Over an hour had passed when the door opened and the light of Cherine’s presence filled the room. It was almost painful to feel her dim her presence, as she also dampened Dominique. They both lay silently, just holding each other, watching me.

Once I had captured the essence, Cherine jumped up with glee, shouting, “Show me, show me.” Curious Dominique followed her. Silently, exhausted, I handed it to Cherine. She stared at it with tears rolling again, murmuring softly, ‘yes, yes’. I was surprised when Dommi got tears in her eyes. She turned to me.

“Roberto, I see it now. I could not see it before. This is our Cherine, the beauty of her soul.” Once she had defined it I saw it too. How could I have been so blind! My tears also came and I stumbled to the bed. As I lay down I went into a deep sleep. I floated towards a light and saw the Kaleidoscope world, but now it was shimmering and I saw it evolving into a multitude of sequences.

Overwhelmed I cried out and sobbed at the impossible beauty. As I threw myself at it, trying to become one with it, it retreated. I screamed my pain. A mist drifted out from it and caressed my brow, held my body. Slowly it took form, hands of love holding me and I realised I was awake, my body drenched in sweat and four real hands of love holding me.

I wanted to get up to capture all the sequences while they were still vivid in my mind, but Dommi pushed me back.

“I have to do it now, I’ll lose it all” I cried in anguish, too weak to fight her.

Cherine brought her face to mine, her eyes dark circles of concern. “You will not lose them. I know! Robert my love, you are growing. I can feel it. You are coming closer to me.” Her tiny hands cupped my cheeks and tears fell on me, warm tears of happiness. “Where are we going? Robert, you are also changing me! It feels so beautiful, hundred times better than sex, can we really do it Robert, can you?” She collapsed next to me.

Dommi, anxious, sensing something special was happening to us, looked into our eyes. Whatever she saw brought her a sense of joy. As she brought her face to mine, I thought, my face is all sweaty and drenched with tears, she will pull away. Her soft lips touched mine and then her tongue licked, slowly circling over my face, bringing a fire to my belly from the sensuous look in her half-closed eyes. She then turned to Cherine and did the same to her. Cherine, my little kitten, lay there, eyes closed, lapping up the sensations, sending them back to both of us.

“Cherine, open your eyes, look” I whispered to her. She did and saw Dommi’s face, saw her look of pure love and sensual excitement. I felt awe knife through her and sensed the warm ejaculation of love she beamed at us.

Dommi returned to me, started to undo my shirt.

“Let me get up, I need a shower. You can undress her in the meantime.”

She put her fingers to my lips. “Shh. You are turning into a real nerd. Stop being so inhibited.” Her eyes were laughing at me. Cherine giggled, amused by Dommi turning the table on me.

“But I stink!”

“Yes you do. But it is your stink and I love it.” Her tongue licked my chest as she continued to undress me. I felt a mixture of embarrassment and sexual excitement that grew from the sensation of her tongue and the sending I was receiving. The feelings of Dommi were pure love, lust and joy, of feeling that she belongs, is one with me. I was certain I could not ever love her more than I did at that moment, that is until Cherine ricocheted it a number of times. My mind, that cold logical part of me wondered at this, what did she think she was doing, making Dommi and my love for her grow so impossibly strong; doesn’t she have an ounce of jealousy in her?

Next Post 008

I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love.

Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου

(Alexander Zenon Eustace)
^{25th February, 2019}

* posted on Steemit: 25th February, 2019



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