LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 03 - post069

I have been judged, as you know, as being responsible for placing you all in danger, as being responsible for the bomb blast that hurt my little girls. I will wait for his return and accept such responsibility, but I confess that I will have to admit that if I could return and change what happened, I probably would not - even if I still have nightmares from seeing my loved ones hurt.

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1611

That I took my decision as being necessary is proven by the fact that I left my home and my loved ones exposing myself to being captured or killed. I gained from that experience and I’m grateful I had the foresight to take the course I did.

Despite my arguments, you have all refused to take decisions on your own. For every single detail you all run to me for a decision or advice. You want a leader, you want the comfort of someone else making the decision and being responsible if it is the wrong one. You all are helping turn me into a politician!

Alki, even you, my strength and father, you who would follow your own path and resist anyone telling you what to do, you gave in to me too easily. My wives, my Cherine the fighter, my Dominique the independent and spoilt society girl, Claudia the Claw, you all bowed your heads and gave me responsibility for everything.

I am a protector - that is my instinct and my gift. Apart from that I am a bit of a nerd, a wishy-washy type of guy who just wants to do his job well and be with his family. You all tried to change me and you succeeded. I even found myself having to interfere in your personal love life!

I could not see it, but subconsciously I sensed it; my dream was dying. Cherinians, whether of Earth or of the void, you cannot be true Cherinians unless you grasp life with both hands and make yourselves responsible for your own lives. We may, according to one of my wives, one day have dog Cherinians - but I promise you, we can never have any sheep Cherinians.

So, I have called you to declare this day as the day Cherinians form a movement to rebel against their leader. There is a fine line that must be drawn, when do you obey and when do you make your own decisions. We will cross that line many times, but if we are wise, experience will show where it should lie. Will you all join me and fight this tyrant leader you created so that he is forced to become a good leader - even if it means he becomes crazy again?”

“How can we fight you Robert?”

“Nicko, you are not fighting me - I wish to join you in this rebellion. There is another Robert, one that you all helped create, he is the one we fight. All you need to do is take your own life back into your own hands. If what you wish to do may affect other Cherinians or normal humans, by all means, this Robert is bound by the trust you placed in him to help, advise or order. Where it only affects your own life or that of your own family - the responsibility must be yours. At most, as a friend, I could advise, later on - once you have got over this tendency of accepting my advice as being the word of God.”

I continued in this vein, answering questions, ranting and raving and insisting on forming a secret society that will be the watchdog for Cherinians, protecting them from politicians. It was with glee I heard comments about me being crazy and when Cherine slipped her arms about me, reaching for a kiss I knew the weight in her heart had dissolved. I picked her up and carried her with me, needing to feel her warm body and heart next to mine.

I insisted that since Socrati had fought in EOKA he should be the leader of the Cherinian Secret Society against Politicians. Since no one else wanted the position and they still did not take it seriously, he was unanimously voted in.

“Before we leave for the club to celebrate, may I have another moment?” Soon as the room was silent I carried on. “It seems a bit of a joke right now. I am aware of your feelings. What we have done today though, it does not belong to the present. This Society must be accepted as having the force of a High Court. They are not allowed to make any rules or laws, only to force them to be repealed. Any leader, myself or a future one, under any type of government, must repeal any law or rule that the ‘Society’ does not accept. Those who join and run the Society must be fearless and refuse to sacrifice the slightest right of any citizen, whether Cherinian, or later when we are in the majority, of any Normal human. Our future depends on you taking this position as a sacred duty to all humans of all worlds. Solomon and Ordinx, I ask that each of you appoint your own representatives to join Socrati.”

1612

Socrati began to radiate his unease and I was pleased, it meant he now was beginning to take his position seriously. A few more of them had thoughtful looks so I began to have hopes this is going to work.

That night, quite a few of us, as good partisans, had too much to drink. I did not show any annoyance when Claudia and her sister also drank too much. I forced her healer to let her suffer the after-effects. If I could have, I would have made them even worse, but it turned out not to be necessary. She threw up, felt the room was tilting in all directions and had a horrible hangover. I finally relented and let her healer cleanse her body.

That afternoon I sat at my computer, brought my diary up to date and did one haunting picture taken from a bleak and gloomy world of my imagination. I did not sign it as I did not want it associated with my name. As I stretched to un-kink the muscles of my back, I sensed the girls were all waiting for me, so I went to them.

They had decided to hold court and judge me. I guess I should have expected it.

Alexis stood up to read the charges and gave me a grin - and got censured by the others.

“Robert Teller, father and husband of all present, you are charged with the following:
- Demeaning your wives and not showing them the correct respect they deserve by calling them, in private and in public, your girls.
- Demeaning and insulting your family by telling others that they do not obey you.
- Demeaning and insulting your family by not being open and honest with them.

How do you answer these charges?”

I thought about it for a moment. “I think you forgot the most important charge of all.”

“What is it?” Alexis innocently asked me, before Cherine could stop her.

“You forgot to charge me with loving you more than myself and the whole wide world.”

It melted a few hearts, but Dommi spoke up, “Alexis, add that to the charge sheet.”

“You want to charge him with loving us!!?”

“Yes Laura, I do.”

“I suppose I am expected to answer whether I am guilty or innocent? Okay, to all the charges I answer that I am both innocent and guilty.”

“Then it will be noted as a guilty plea.”

“Not so fast Rosie, we cannot do that.” Cherine bit her lip, “Dommi, I think we should treat his answer as a plea of innocence.”

Sam said, “I agree.”

“Alexis, write down that he answered ‘innocent’.”

“Dommi, I know that this is your court, but what you suggest is wrong, instructing her to write my plea in any way different from my answer would be wrong and I could get the outcome thrown out on a technicality. You could add to my answer that the court will treat my answer as a plea of innocent.”

“That is what I meant!”

“Who is the prosecutor and who will be my defence attorney?” They stared at me in dismay. “What!? You did not provide for an attorney to help me defend myself? Is that legal?”

“Who do you want?”

1613

I thought of asking for Dommi - that would have thrown them for a loop, but I did not want to spoil it for them. “Seeing as to how Laura sort of stood up for me, I ask the court to appoint her as my defence attorney. May I retire with her? I need to get her advice and brief her as to my wishes. I trust that all communications between my attorney and myself will be treated as privileged - confidential - by all of you?”

Laura sat opposite me in the kitchen while I made a cup of coffee.

“What are you going to do Robbie?”

“First of all I need your advice. How serious are they? Are they doing this to have fun at my expense or do they have a serious grievance?”

“A mixture of both I think. Robbie, is it fair of you to ask me that kind of question?”

“You mean that as you were a party to this I am trying to get ‘inside’ information?”

“I suppose so.”

“That was the only question my love.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Drink my coffee.”

“I meant when we go back in there.”

“Perhaps I should just change my plea to guilty?”

“No, you mustn’t do that!”

“You mean I would spoil their fun? Okay, what if I fight and win?”

“You can’t, you are in the wrong.”

“You really are not much good as an attorney are you? It is your job to presume I am innocent and look for ways to prove that I am.”

I drank my coffee slowly and we returned to the others. They all rushed to take their places again.

“Are you satisfied to rest your case on your accusations or have you appointed a prosecutor?”

“We do not need a prosecutor.”

“Who will question me then? My attorney advises me that for the judge and jury to do so could prejudice you against me.” Laura blushed, but kept quiet.

“I think we should appoint Claudia.” Cherine told Dommi. Claudia jumped up with a cry of protest.

“No. He already thinks I am the nasty one - I won’t do it.”

It caused a problem. None of them wanted the role. I let them feel how it saddened me.

“Dommi, I would ask that you postpone these proceedings for a time.”

She agreed and some of the girls made as if to get up.

“Sit down!” I stared at them while they settled back again. “I expected this and do not mind, I even hoped to see you put up a good fight and beat me. What I did not expect was that you would all turn out to be cowards. How dare any one of you think that my love is so shallow that I would hold it against you if you were the prosecutor?”

I walked over to Claudia. “I call you the Claw as a play on your name and the fact that you are tougher in many ways than the others. I thought we already had settled the matter, that I had taught you that if you use your personality, your character, for the good of the family I would only admire those qualities in you? How could you say I think of you as the nasty one?”

1614

“You do, I can feel it.”

I asked with a wonder in my voice, “You mean that with all the love that fills my heart whenever I look at you or think of you, you are able to feel behind all that love that I think of you that way?”

“No. You are always saying things that make me feel you think so.”

“Claudia, do you remember that man who was trying to rape you when we first met?” She nodded. “You are saying that I am no better than he is.”

“I did not!!”

“He was doing it to your body, but you are saying I am doing something just as terrible to your mind and heart.”

“Robert that is not fair! You are exaggerating what she said to make her feel bad.”

“Am I Dommi? Claudia, if I did I apologise, I did not mean to. Examining what you said, I realise that it is in the very nature of teasing that we skate on thin ice. What do you tease me about? What do I tease Cherine about?

Is it not true that we always choose to tease the other about qualities that we are self-conscious about? I felt bad about making love to little girls, so, did you tease me about my having an ugly nose or was it about my making love to you? There would not have been much point in your teasing me about my nose as I would not have reacted.

Does that mean you were being cruel, teasing me about something I was in agonies about? I think not. I would say you chose to tease me about it for two reasons: because I would react to it and because you did not see my making love to all of you as bad. Your teasing me about it was in a way your way of showing me I was not facing the situation honestly. Does anybody disagree with my prognosis up to now?”

“There are some of us you never tease Robert, why is that?”

“That is a separate issue. When Theresa first came here and feared to love, would it have been right of us to tease her about it? Weren’t her fears something too real, didn’t she need to be shown only love?”

I realised I had given the perfect example for Claudia. “Claudia, when I said I was just as bad as that man, what I was saying is that if your fears are just as real as the fears Theresa had, then I am just as bad as him, with even less justification for I should have felt the pain in you.”

She shook her head in a negative answer.

“Then what you are saying is…?” She began to cry. I forced the others to leave her alone. “Tell me Claudia.”

“What can I say?”

“You could tell me that I was blind. Claudia my love, I was going to say that you took my teasing out of context, made a mountain out of a molehill. If that is so then it means I was blind, for you would have only done so if it truly did hurt you. Why couldn’t I see it?”

“I couldn’t see it either Robert.”

“What you can see or not see does not absolve me of my guilt. I am supposed to protect all of you, not cause pain. How could I have not seen?”

“I tried to hide it Robert, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I should have still been able to see it.” My voice was anguished and she felt the pain in me. “Will you excuse me ladies, I think I need to be on my own.” I took my cigarettes and left.

As I walked on the street I kept them out of my mind and they soon left me alone. I went to the local coffee shop and got one of their bitter coffees, diplo (double) as the owner knew I wanted it. I needed to give Claudia time without me there.

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I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love - and should some of it be true for our reality, I hope you will love our Cherine.

Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου

(Alexander Zenon Eustace)
^{1st October, 2019}

* posted on PALNet - Steemit - WEKU - CreativeCoin: 1st October, 2019

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