LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 03 - post063

^{“You did not mind when he did it to that Petsas!” “It is not the same, he was attacking us. Anyway, he was a nasty little man and deserved it.”}

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1591

I pointed out to her, “So was the woman Dommi, she attacked Wendy, trying to make her sound like she was a nasty spoiled brat, or are you going to tell me you did not feel the hurt in Wendy?”

“Okay, knowing how you react if anyone even looks the wrong way at your girls I’ll forget about the woman. I still think it was wrong, but as Cherine says, I know my Robert. The child though, that was entirely wrong of you.”

“God! Do you really feel I need you to tell me? Has your anger made you so blind to me?”

Her voice softened, “No my love, it has not. Your feelings though are not important right now, how the little girl feels, is. You even left the cut in her mouth.”

“By tomorrow morning it will be gone. I had to leave it. Soon as she leaves the doctor, the healer will take the pain away.”

“Now do you see Dommi how he has changed? Our crazy Robert would not have thought like that, he would have said he could not leave a child hurting because of him. Now he worries what they will think if he fixes her.”

“Cherine!” I stared at her and felt my heart sink. She was right. Had I become so afraid of doing the wrong thing that I would not do the right thing?

Sam stepped between Cherine and I, putting her hand on my chest. “The more powerful you become the more afraid you are, why?”

Cherine's eyes filled, “You do not know Sam? You cannot feel the weariness in him? He stopped dreaming from the day he got those powers from Eddie.”

“Cherine, I had not noticed! Why didn’t you say something?” Dommi turned to me. “Roberto mou, why, you cannot live without dreaming. Why are you so afraid - if Eddie can live with those powers, why can’t you?”

“His powers are as nothing…Dommi, say we hear one nation attacked another, a people innocent of crime against them. I would be outraged, same as you and many others. What if in my sleep I struck out at those people?”

“You could hurt a whole country!?”

“Yes my loves…you are all shocked. I could move tectonic plates and sink a continent, or fling the moon into the sun with but a thought. How dare I dream, allow my subconscious to decide my actions? I am starting to make too many mistakes when I am awake, but I dare not trust myself asleep.”

“But the longer you stay without dreams the more mistakes you will make awake!”

“Can you find me an answer Dommi? How do I close doors I’ve opened?”

“I’m calling Themi and Eddie.”

Cherine called and both of them jumped. Other Cherinians, especially their children, felt the fear and worry of my girls and came too. Their worry brought even those who had not noticed. Soon the house was full. Sylvestro appeared in his uniform, obviously still on duty.

“Sylvestro, don’t get into trouble. There is no urgency, you can come back later.” In response he made an impatient gesture while letting me see his worry.

“Okay, this was not quite expected, we do not have a real emergency, but I do have a problem which made the young ladies anxious. We were hoping Themi or Eddie would be able to help, but since you all came it is perhaps for the best. This could affect everyone so you all have the right to know. Tonight I hurt a child because I…shit, no excuses. I hurt a child and did not repair the damage, I let her suffer pain for over an hour.”

Cherine jumped up, ignoring my plea that she keep quiet. “That is not fair, he makes it sound as if he did it on purpose. Ask him why he did it!” Her little face was a mixture of fury and pain so I pulled her to me.

“Shh my little cub, I was about to explain.”

1592

I explained and saw, from the adults to start off and then the children, that I frightened them.

“Robert, you are a time-bomb, you could go off at any time!”

“If I fall asleep Keith.”

Socrati spoke in a loud voice. “Ochi!! Even awake Roberto. I have spent many nights tending my sheep at the time of lambing. You do not sleep or dream long enough and you will start hallucinating.”

“Eddie, can you help? Is there any way to shut off the powers?”

“Is there a way to learn how to not be able to ride a bicycle? I’m sorry Robert, it cannot be done. Perhaps you could find a way to prevent yourself from ‘accidentally’ using a power, but I do not know how.”

“Themi, any ideas?”

We tossed it backwards and forwards, everyone getting more desperate as no solution was found. Dommi brought me a coffee and my cigarettes and when out of consideration for them I did not light up, she almost screamed at me to smoke.

During all this, the healer reported that the little girl is now asleep. It bore with it the memory of her frightened tears as a chastisement. I felt the beginning of a crumbling within me even as I told it to repair her completely and calling Wendy to join me, asked her to hum a song of tenderness and sweetness so that her sleep will be filled with happy dreams. I left them and returned to my body and found them all staring at me with fear, my girls clinging to me. I felt a peace come over me as I saw the only answer available and though I have fought it before, I knew I would at least be able to relax my vigilance and rest.

Cherine was watching my mind. “I will not stay Robert. Do not try to order me, I will not listen.”

“Cherine my love, please. This is the only way.”

“I don’t care, I will not stay.”

“Nor will I.” It does not matter who said it as they all joined in, almost together. I stared at them, determined to win this argument. I turned to Dommi, hoping her mind being more mature would understand the need for me to leave this body forever and help me convince the girls to stay. I was shocked at the pallor of her face, the features drawn tight and sharp.

“I cannot refuse them Roberto, I cannot stay either. It is not just my love for you, nor the children I bore for you. Over these years, with all we have been through, the growth of our gifts, the heart you opened to us, I am no longer the Dominique I was. Now I am Dominique as part of Robert and Cherine and the rest of my family. There is no way I can bear the emptiness of even one part of myself missing.”

“Your nightmare has come true Robert.” Marian smiled sadly. “You feared this right at the beginning. It looks like you will have to fight, you cannot give up and die, not if it will kill all of you.”

“I’m too tired to think straight. I’m going to the void, maybe my mind will be clearer there.”

“I’m coming with.” Cherine stated and all the rest followed. All of them, my beloved Cherinians.

We were on the emerald isle. “So Ordinx, now you know why we called you. While I rest, will you go to Solomon and ask if he can find a way?”

“What about your protector? What if you set it to guard your powers while you sleep?”

“I’ve tried that. I do not know whether it would be effective or not, if it can stop me. Ordinx, I could not sleep. It may sound stupid, but having it in my mind watching me was like an invasion of my mind. I was too aware of it to sleep. I have to learn how to stop myself from dreaming, which means I stay aware.”

“But it is part of you!”

1593

“I told you it would sound stupid. To be effective it would have to watch my dreams so as to react in time, which means it has to stay apart from me. Every time I started to dream I became conscious of it watching and I would wake up.”

Irene asked, “Robbie, would you wake up if I was in your dreams?”

“If it was a good dream I would not mind you being there my love. To have you in a nightmare though, could destroy you.”

“I’m not scared of your nightmares. Let me try Robert.” Cherine asked.

I shook my head. “I think you don’t understand. All of us have dreams that shame us. Dreams do not come from the mind we use when awake. Cherine, you should remember the result of your seeing my sub-conscious mind. Have any of you looked into the mind of a baby - a normal baby? What more innocent creature could there be you would say - until you see it’s sub-conscious mind! A nightmare of mine is perhaps easier for you as an outsider to bear, my monsters and fears are not necessarily yours…” Nicko turned a bright green in embarrassment at the memory of how I found his monsters and used them against him. I sent him my sorrow and regret. “Cherine, if you become part of my nightmare, my monsters will become yours. I would not do that to you or anyone else, the fears we each have are more than enough to trouble our minds without adopting new ones.”

“Robert we have all looked into each others dreams.”

“When do we do that Rosie, isn’t it only when we sense the one we love having a dream of great beauty or happiness?” She agreed I was right. “Adam, you seem strangely silent.”

“I have been sifting through all the nightmares and dreams you’ve all had and I agree with you Robert - for once.” he added laconically.

Two familiar girls appeared. I was pleased to see Solomon has taken my problem seriously enough to visit. He came over and kissed my cheek (a first for him). He sat cross legged in front of me.

“My people are all concerned and worried - Robert we cannot afford to lose you. Our test of you has backfired on us by affecting you and we feel responsible. Our Thinkers have united in one gestalt mind to try and solve your problem. I had to release to them all I know of you to help them understand you.”

“I thought you did that automatically every time we meet!”

“Superficially yes; and when there is a question I answer it. Robert, as a Cherinian you should understand that the closer minds are linked the stronger the need for privacy of the inner world, of that which makes us unique. That is ingrained in us over a span of time your race cannot imagine. I had to break that taboo and I ask your forgiveness.”

I took his face in my hands gently and pulling him close, kissed the sweet face that reflects one of the loveliest souls I’ll ever know. Even an alien it seems can pick up such emotions, for his face turned a bright emerald green and those dark eyes studied me as if not believing such love is possible.

“You can love me like that? Oh Robert!”

Everyone, including Ordinx stared in disbelief as we saw the first tears a Sparkler has ever shed fill his eyes.

“I wish you and Ordinx could enter my mind, share my feelings. Perhaps we will find a way someday?”

“It would be worth it.”

“Up until now not one of you has found a solution I can trust so as to dream. Coming to the void slightly compensates, but I cannot last many more days before I start seeing and doing things without my mind in control. Soon as I feel my first hallucination, I will take the action I intended and trust that you will obey me and stay on Earth to look after each other, for my sake. After all, you will still be able to come here to see me as often as you want.”

For the first time not one of my girls wanted to dance. They all wanted to return to our bodies to hold me and each other.

1594

I have not had such a good laugh for a long time - here is this guy who thinks he is just writing a story writing to his characters, giving them advice. He must be as crazy as I am!!

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I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love - and should some of it be true for our reality, I hope you will love our Cherine.

Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου

(Alexander Zenon Eustace)
^{20th September, 2019}

* posted on PALNet - Steemit - WEKU - CreativeCoin: 20th September, 2019