Little Cherine Book 02 - The Doris War - post 01

“Alki, patera, are you still afraid of us, not of the girls and me, of our powers.”

“What makes you feel that?”

“You are the one person outside our circle who is the closest to us. Your circle is linked and related to us through our love and your daughters. Yet your mind and heart are still closed. We hardly feel you and never know what you think.”

“It is not out of fear my Roberto. How could I fear you or my Cherine? I do not know why it is so.”

“The girls theorise that you learnt to guard your thoughts as a businessman and you block us subconsciously.”

“How do I get rid of the block then?”

“I am not certain it is the right time for you to do so. It does not hurt us Alki, we just feel we are missing out on something wonderful. We would rather wait for you to be ready. I think then it will come by itself.”

“To change the subject, now that things are back to normal, can Cherine check some friends of mine. There is also a distant relative. He is all I have of family, I know nothing about him, but if he is suitable I would like to bring him and his family in.”

“As soon as you want. With none of the younger girls going to school anymore, she is free to do so at any time. How come Marian has not made a comment about me taking the girls out of school?”

“That woman!” he said fondly, “She has gone to the other extreme. If you say it is not necessary, then she accepts it.”

“I would prefer you all argue with me. It forces me to think things out more clearly.”

He chuckled. “What is the point Robert? If you have thought it out you win the argument. If you cannot give us valid reasoning then you just say ‘I feel it is right’ and we have to give in. So you win the argument anyway.”

“I am a bit of a shit aren’t I? Regardless Alki, the arguments force me to re-think and sometimes I do see that I am wrong – not often, but every now and then it does happen.”

“Where would Alexander the Great have reached if he had asked that his officers argue with his decisions?”

“I think you gave a bad example. What I have read of him, I have the impression he did not surround himself with ‘yes’ men, he wanted their opinions and expertise. No good leader could do otherwise. That might explain why many great leaders start off as an unstoppable force, but as they begin to believe the propaganda given out about them, only surrounding themselves with those willing to suck up to them, they begin to fail.”

“I see, you are implying that you are a good leader?”

I laughed at his teasing. “The best that you have for now Alki.”

Perhaps it is because we had spoken of Alexander, I had a vision of Alki and I on horseback, swords in our hands, facing a multitude of enemies and I felt he would be the best man and friend to have at my side. I sent him my little fanciful vision, expecting him to laugh, but he was touched and put his hands on mine.

Savva is another one who has grown in unexpected ways.

In his private life, becoming a Cherinian affected both him and his wife. Able to feel the love in the other, to dance in the void and exchange kiss, it opened them and brought them even closer. Having children has been the most radical change. Through or thanks to their adopted children they became more tolerant of the Albanians. As a police officer he still is wary of them and does not make it easier for the criminals. However, he has become more able to understand the pressures and needs that drive them and is trying to do what he can to improve their lot.

The Albanian community see him as a tough cop who is relentless in his pursuit of criminals, but also they have begun to feel they have a friend who cares about those who chose to struggle rather than commit crimes. He tries to find ways to ease their lives and soon some Greeks were joking that he is becoming an Albanian. He does not mind and tells jokes against himself.

Our experiments convinced him love can alter life for the better. When my disappearance interrupted our experiments again, he decided to look for other ways that were within his jurisdiction.

Any government over the centuries builds up a number of rules and laws that make no sense to the citizens as the times change. He studied the laws still being applied and found which of them are only an archaic annoyance and instructed his men not to enforce those. He spent hours drilling them on how they must be seen by their own community as their friends, not only there to protect, but also to help citizens when they are in trouble. Perhaps wishing to test him, one officer told him about a family who lost their business and were in debt, as they had been spending more than they had in an effort to save the life of their child.

He started a drive to raise funds to save the child, but also went to the local merchants and asked them to help with food, clothing and other necessities. Greek businessmen are always careful to do favours for those who have power and the family found themselves able to live again while their hopes grew as they saw the money being raised to save their child.

I asked him why he did not send the child to Maria, she could use her healer to save the child. His answer was that he is not looking for miracles, he is looking to bring the community together. I sent my healer and made certain the child will not be in danger while it waits for him to raise the money.

Savva also began to pester the Mayor of Kifissia for improvements. He wanted the pavements improved, trees and flowers planted. He argued that people need to be proud of their suburbs and homes. He pushed them to organise events that bring the community together for pleasure while raising funds for the projects he is pushing for. What Savva is doing is not groundbreaking, many other officials in other countries have done what he is doing and he studied them and corresponded with them for tips, but for Greece, this has been something new.

It is still early days, most of what he is trying to do not happening yet, but already a difference can be felt. People are already talking about the changes. They are also happy about his very strict enforcement of those laws that could have a detrimental effect on individuals or the community. The criminals are starting to avoid the area as they know he cannot be bribed, has an uncanny ability at finding them and has no mercy on those who are guilty.

His growing gifts have also enabled him to feel when someone is guilty of the crime charged and he is quick to release those he feels are innocent, even if the evidence is against them. He upset his own officers and men a number of times, but as they found over the months that he was always right he has become a sort of hero to them. I think even the hardened cops take pleasure in knowing they are only putting behind bars the truly guilty and they now take pride in what they are doing.

Socrati has also changed. His changes have been more dramatic. From being a simple Cypriot villager and shepherd, a lonely man with no education, he found himself belonging to what he saw as an exclusive group of people, an equal and friend of multi millionaires, professors and others that he admires.

He has gained not only a second chance, but also a wife, a woman he dearly loves, and he has gained a daughter, and Britta and Andreas now look upon him as their mentor and father figure. He spends endless hours teaching himself and where she can his wife helps him. He feels he has to live up to the expectations of his family and struggles to improve himself in all ways. I felt compelled to visit him. I refused to sit in a coffee shop and asked he take me for a walk in the mountains.

“Socrati, why are you turning your back on this?”

“I am not. I do not have as much time anymore to walk the hills but…”

“Then you are. You may not realise it, but you brought a precious gift to all Cherinians. It was your love for nature. You are the only one we have who helps to remind us and keep our hearts open to this beauty.”

He felt hurt. “You do not want me to study and change?”

“I want it very much. Just try to do it without sacrificing your love. You do realise that your love for the people you care for is enriched by your love for the trees, the birds, the lonely fox who hides behind that bush? Just as Wendy with her singing opens our hearts, not just for her family but all of us, so does your love for all this touch upon our lives.”

“I cannot bear to tear myself away from my family Roberto.”

“Then do not. Bring your daughter here, walk the mountains with her and teach her to see the beauty. Do the same with the others.”

He walked a while without speaking and I waited for him to gather the courage to speak.

“Roberto, I am simple and stupid because I did not go to school. I now have a wife who goes to university, Britta and Andreas are bright and educated. I want my daughter to grow up with a mind filled with knowledge. I do not want them to all look down on me as a stupid villager who walks the mountains.”

“Socrati, you speak from your own fears, not from the way they see you. Have you been honest enough to look within them and see how they perceive you? I too want you to read books and have your mind grow. There are scientists who are brilliant and they spend most of their time in nature because they love it. Often they are the ones who contribute to science, not only those who sit in the laboratory. You do not need to study art, for instance, if it is history that interests you. Choose what you want to learn so that you grow in the direction you want to grow, not in the direction you think others want you to.”

We spent the day together talking, stopping at a village kafeneion for mezedes and cold beer. When we returned I sensed a new peace and acceptance of himself. His wife had been monitoring him and she smiled at him.

“Why do you listen to Robert, but not believe me when I tell you the same things? He asked you to look into us and see the truth of how we see you, do so my love – you will be surprised.”

“I am an old man, surprises are not good for me.”

His daughter jumped on his lap and pulled at his ears so that he had to look at her. “How dare you call my daddy an old man!” She is a cute five year old. She no longer needs to be a baby, the security of being loved and part of a family has changed her – though it has not changed the softness, her tenderness for those who suffer.

I have written of a few of our Cherinians for a purpose. I want you of the future to realise that it was not just the gifts that were important in changing us. All my fellow Cherinians were and are growing because of the love that fills their hearts. I am the proudest leader of any people, for my people have all learnt to love.

I do not know how to use this properly. I am glad it corrects my mistakes so that I am not seen as foolish or ignorant. Robert said we can all right in here.

I am a slow reader so I do not read this story from the beginning, only from the time he found me. I have seen much to make me think. I see he tricked me with his protector – I am not angry.

I see he says he is proud of his people because of love. It makes me sad for then he is not proud of me. I still fear love.

I love my daughter now. I forget who her father was, of how I got her, it does not matter any more. She is also part of me and I will not blame her for what he did. It is sad that she will never love me two. There are two many here who give love and I am cold and cannot show my love so she will love only them, not me.

Robert, I am still Ulya, I am not yet that Theresa you want me to be. I know now there is no evil in you and that you love me. I do not understand this. Why? I am not a person to love. Please you must not be foolish and waste your love on me. You have so many people who need your love, give it to them.

I found this written (Claudia translated the Russians words she used) by my sweet Ukrainian girl and I cried. If a normal human reads this (courtesy of ‘A’) they will think I am a cry-baby. They cannot know as a Cherinian would, that I do not have a choice. Theresa has not really agreed to be my daughter nor my lover and I have no right to look in her mind. Empathy though has its own way of looking into the hearts of others and does not need to ask for permission.

I do not understand why I have failed to reach her, to bring her heart back to life. I have never failed so badly before. If she was a cold cruel person I would understand, but I sense the little girl inside her who is crying to be freed and be allowed to love again.

It is nearly the birthday of Meli and I sense, have a foreboding that this will not be the joyous occasion we would want it to be. I have a feeling the Anadir are going to try to show their devotion to her and it will upset me again. I must try to control myself this time. I better keep Diana by my side as a visual reminder.

I decided to visit our guest on the emerald isle, in the void. All the girls decided to come so Theresa decided to stay with her daughter. The only way I could force the issue was by taking her daughter with.

“Theresa, would you say that you are fair? Do I deserve my chance at making you love me – even if you don’t want to?”

I could feel her cringe, but she was fair, “I suppose so.”

“Then I think you owe it to me to come with us to the void. Dance with us love. It will be lovely for us to see your soul” (oh-oh! wrong thing to say, she thinks it is ugly) “but even more important to us, is that you give us a chance to show you ours. I know Wendy has been dying to show you hers. If for nothing else, come to see your daughter. It will make it possible for you to see what a miracle you created.”

Reluctantly she agreed to come, but wanted a full explanation again of what would happen. I explained as fully as I could, reminding her that the protector will see to it that she does not come to any harm.

“You have met our alien visitors, though I suspect you must have wondered – after all, you only meet them in human bodies. I think you will be amazed at their beauty.”

I sent everyone and waited with Theresa and Lucy. I called Theresa and she came. She had good self control, but she could not help showing her amazement. Once she had met us all I returned and brought her daughter.

Lucy clung to me until she began to recognise everyone. When she found out which was her mother she slipped away from me and dashed into her. The protector untangled them and Lucy spun around her in a tight joyous orbit. She had tasted my love exchange and now taught her mother. For a time Theresa accepted, but did not reciprocate. When she gave her first exchange kiss, Lucy showed her delight and would not stop exchanging with her mother. This was the first time her love had been returned and she was excited and elated. Slowly Theresa forgot herself and the two of them danced as one and the love flowed between them.

None of us danced. We all remained still, watching, not wanting to distract either of them. When Lucy wearied, she wanted her mother to cuddle her, but Theresa did not know how and was afraid of absorbing her. I sent to her how she should do it and Lucy was folded into her and we all felt her baby contentment.

Now we too were free to dance. I saw to it that our dance was centred around Theresa, first Wendy and then the other girls brushing against her, exchange kissing. I made certain I never touched her.

I decided to hell with our World, if it wants to hang around it is not going to deprive us of the joy of our coming together. I called to the healer and protector and we became one. The Sparklers responded to my flare and the void came alive. I called to my babies to form the corners and was glad to see Lucy dart out and join them. They dove into me as my girls all joined me. Grimly I hung on, not allowing us to implode and called to Theresa to join us. She hesitated, half out of fear and then she came in. I let go.

When we talk about passion and sex we use the word explode, ‘lust exploded...’ etc. When I say we imploded it too has its ecstasy. Part of the ecstasy is the feeling of becoming one. At no other time, not even in our World, is this feeling ever experienced. The other side of the implosion was when we formed the World, but this time we found ourselves part of our World.

*Welcome. It has been a long time and I see we have grown in number. I now understand all the things that happened and puzzled me. I am glad to see that Robert has matured.*

*Piss off you pompous arsehole!! Learn to talk to us as equals or else keep your mouth shut.*

*I do not have a mouth.*

*Ha! Was that humour? I think you were just being literal. I asked the girls to find a name for you but they did not do so. Since you do not have a mouth I hereby name you Arsehole. I will change your name the day you stop being one. Come on girls, let’s go visit Ma…sorry, her name is Josephine?*

She was laughing as we arrived. “You may call me Mama. Just you wait Robert, until the children start to call you Papa!” Her ample bosom shook with her amusement.

Cherine challenged her. “You think what he said to the ‘I’ was funny!?”

“You cannot imagine how often I have wished to speak to it that way. Robert, you are not impressed by it and you are fighting it. Remember, it is a child. It needs guidance, love – even if it is an Arsehole.”

“I wish it could take on a form so that we could face it, talk to it. This disembodied voice shit and the pompous way it has of talking to us gets on my nerves. I stand corrected though and will try to find a way to communicate with it.”

“Ask it to take on a form.”

“I do not think it will want to. It sees itself as being the sum of all of us and bigger and better, if it had a form it would be just one more of us, having to deal with us on a one to one basis.” I ordered it mentally to take on a form and join us on the isle. Nothing! I shrugged, I had not really expected it to.

When Mama is not being mysterious, she is an interesting person to talk with. She told us she plans to return to Earth in a few months as she has her own powers that help her to relieve the suffering of children.

“Would you be willing to become a Cherinian?”

“Not yet. You need to concentrate on becoming stronger so that you cannot be harmed by those who fear you. Oh yes Cherine, you are already feared. You must not think that only you have powers. There are others and they have watched you grow and they plan to stop you. They would lose their powers over normal humans if you are allowed to become stronger.

Your strength is your refusal to be tempted Robert. Power and wealth will be offered in ways you do not imagine. Beware of all that comes out of your own sweat and work. Accept and you condemn your people.”

“If they cannot tempt me, will they tempt the others?”

“I do not know. But you are right to try and imagine how they would think.”

“I think we only have one thing to fear Mama. If they offer my Robert love, that he will not be able to refuse.”

“I think he will be safe if that is so my child. Love is not what they can offer. But there is one amongst you who does not accept love. Come here child.”

Theresa went to her, her cheeks a bright green.

“You are the one. If you do not learn to see your own heart you will become the pawn of those far more evil than the ones you fear. They will use you and the love Robert and the others have for you, and you will be the instrument of their death. Is that the future you wish for yourself and them?”

“No.” It came out as a whisper. She cried out in anguish. “I can’t help it. I want to love them, but something inside holds me back.”

She soothed her. “Tell me, have you ever had a nightmare where you sense something terrible is chasing you and you try to run, but your legs are heavy, it is as if you are trying to run through mud or something that is slowing you down?”

“Yes.”

“Do not run, you are no longer Ulya, you are Theresa. Turn and confront that which threatens you, that you fear, then only will it lose its power over you.”

I touched her hand gently so that she would look at me. “Theresa, you understood that what she refers to, is that fear which stops you from loving?”

“Yes.”

“Will you allow me into your mind so that I can help you?”

“Please, no.”

I felt her refusal weakened us, exposed us to the threat that was coming, but I would not try to force her to accept my help. I turned to our Mama.

“If we die, will that just be on Earth, will we be able to come here?”

“I do not know. My fear tells me that they may have a way to capture your souls.”

“I hope you are wrong.”

“You have just proved that I am right. You could have forced your way into her mind and released her from the demons of fear, but you do not.”

“I cannot.”

“Even though all your loved ones, their eternal souls are threatened by her?”

“Even.”

She turned to my loves. “You do not resent his putting you all in danger for her sake?”

“No Mama, we do not. We would not want our Robert to be any different from what he is.”

“Remember that, for your trust in him will be his only strength. Robert, for what you have done I make you an offer. I will wait here. At your moment of darkness, at the time of despair, call for me. I will come to give what help I can.”

“I cannot, if we lost, you would be destroyed with us?”

“The price I pay is for me to choose.”

I did not reply, but her eyes showed, with their sadness, that she understood. Her lives are dedicated to saving and helping children. How could I accept her offer.

I looked at all the glum faces and saw my Cherine was staring back at me. I gave her a grin. “It seems we are never to have a dull moment my loves.”

Cherine asked the question that was on all their minds. “How would you have us stand by you Robert? As adults or children?”

“For my strength as children, for yourselves I do not know.”

“Then we will be your strength.”

“Mama I think we must return, I need to call a meeting with all Cherinians to warn them.”

Mama Joe gave us her final bit of advice. “I see there is one amongst you who carries a secret wound. Unless that wound is lanced now, it will poison and weaken you all.”

The girls looked at Theresa so I was forced to speak. “You are wrong girls, she is not talking of her, I think she talks of Themi.”

A very silly idea had come to me and I decided to try it out, risk all so to speak on one toss of the dice. I was now eager to get going so we left. We were all so tense that for the first time ever our needs to be anchored were almost non-existent. Nobody was in the mood for making love.