LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 01 - post140

His face paled and I sensed he had misunderstood me; he thought I was suggesting I am an angel! It did not make me feel like laughing. I could feel it inside me, I must allow him to make me be whatever he needs. I am here for him, not for me.

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Gamely he started talking. “The old days, especially in Greece, they were very different from these days. The country was poor and the very wealthy were few and power was shared mainly between two parties - the government and the royal family, with the army supporting the one or the other at different times. Each of them were influenced by others and it was not supposed to be possible for anyone to be someone of note if they did not align themselves to one or the other main power.

My great-grandfather and grandfather, both made the main part of our family fortune in other countries. We were known and respected in Germany, France and England, with friends among their bankers, governments and royal families. Because of this, our power in this country was out of proportion to our wealth and it meant we could not be compelled by threats to take a position or else be excluded, counted as of little importance. Any official function without the presence of my family would have been seen as a failure, indicating they are out of favour with us, never the other way around.

My great-grandfather taught my grandfather that their position comes with a great responsibility attached. He was a patriot and believed that he strengthened Greece by looking after the interests of those who have no power or influence. With time the people came to respect them and this only added to the family influence.

There were always those who sought to convince them to join forces with others and start a political party. Some of them were genuine and honest in their opinions, but others only wished to influence them for their own purposes. I recall my grandfather telling me that they had a number of businesses to run and friends all over Europe to keep in contact with so that they can be of service to our country, and he told me that when it is my turn, I must always keep in mind one rule: I must choose what I do out of love for those I wish to help, not for what it can earn me, in power or money.

As I told you, my first name is Alphonso, which is not a Greek name. My father met an Italian woman from the theatre and married her. After she gave birth to me, she chose to abandon my father and myself and returned to Italy. He wasted time and money in trying to convince her to return to him and by the time he was convinced she would never return, he was drinking heavily. Drink, with the bitter thoughts one indulges in, they can change the character of a person. As I said, he made mistakes, lost our good name and allowed most of our businesses to fold. At least he left me enough to live comfortably, but once his actions had destroyed the dreams engendered by my grandfather, I had little left to motivate me.

I have lived my life quietly, mostly reading and thinking of what life could have been like. I have wasted my life and now that it is nearly over, I grieve for what I should have done with it. Your question, it was a good one, for it went to the heart of my life. All my father did, it is regrettable, but it is my grandfather and the dreams his own life filled me with, which is heavier to bear. For it is him that I feel I have failed.” He looked at me with sad eyes. “There is so much I could have experienced, so much I could have done - even so many wonders I could have travelled to see, but I have done nothing with my life.”

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I could see what he had done and it hurt me, for he is a good man, just not strong enough. “Didn’t you have any dreams of your own?”

“One. I do not know whether it was a dream, maybe more of an ambition or need. I wished I could meet my mother and ask her why she abandoned us, why she could not stay with my father.”

“I think you never searched for her because her answer would not have mattered. What she did, Alphonso, it is not what changed your lives; it is the excuse. Excuses don’t change lives.”

“You are transferring all the blame to my father?”

“For the life he wasted and for a small share of your failures. He too was your excuse Alphonso, if you had fought back, your life would have been well lived, even if less happier.” As Robert says, I do not respect self-pity, so it is partly responsible for the way I answered him. I saw that he was now truly convinced I am an angel, for my words were harsh and it should have angered him that a child spoke this way to him. It did not, he actually was accepting my words as a judgement he deserved. I wondered what gift of mine was responsible for calling me to him? I needed to know so that I could choose what action I should take. I could not help asking myself whether I have the right to interfere - the man who shot me has made me less confident of myself in this regard.

“Is it too late for me to do at least one thing for giving my life some value?”

Only now did I think to ask my healer to check him. It reported he has only hours or days left and asked to heal him. I refused it permission. I knew I would be crying about it again and again, but I had to. This life can never become what it should, he has allowed himself to become weak, so he will never do anything with it. Then I changed my mind, I told it to make him well enough to live at least another six months.

“Alphonso, you only have a few days?” He paled, but nodded that he knew. “Perhaps you are asking the wrong question? What if you asked whether you can give value and purpose to another person’s life? If you can, would that give value to yours?”

I called to Dommi and Robert, to tell them I will only return late that night, as I need to visit Cyprus. I called for the bill and paid for both coffees, much to the embarrassment of Alphonso, and demanded we return to his home for him to dress warmly, as it will be cold where I wish to take him.

At his home, I warned him of what we will be doing and I jumped us to Robert's favourite stretch of beach in Cyprus. As we arrived, he saw that I now am a girl of about twenty, which reinforced his belief of my being an angel. We walked to the taverna and I ordered fish and everything I thought he would enjoy. I ordered the white wine Robert always chooses and I actually drank a couple of glasses - the taste improved as I drank…maybe being older helped.

The sky darkened and I asked him to walk with me. Once we were away from the lights of the taverna, I pointed at the sky. “The stars, they are as you know them in Athens?”

“I think so, I do not know them well enough…”

I laughed. “I meant, roughly the amount you can see and their brightness.”

“I think so, maybe brighter here because of the street lights in Athens.”

I jumped us to the castle courtyard, sat on the grass, patting it next to me for him to join me, and then I asked him to close his eyes. After a couple of minutes, I told him to look up at the sky. I was pleased to hear him exclaim with surprise and pleasure. I gave him five minutes to enjoy the magic of the stars.

“The lights of Athens light the sky and are reflected from the clouds above. What stars you can see are few in number and hardly visible. This is our true sky, Alphonso, is it not beautiful? Don’t the stars truly seem uncountable now? Your life, the way you viewed it, resembled the night sky over Athens; the stars, which represent the possibilities and opportunities you have, were few and faded, not truly inspiring. The street lights which dimmed them for you, are the effect of your own doubts and lack of dreams. This, as you see above you now, is how your life really was, these were what life was really offering you. I am not telling you this to be cruel. Alphonso, if I give you back your life, will you search for a dream worthy of you and fight to make it come true? You are gifted and intelligent, you can succeed if you believe in yourself. I believe in you enough to give you one more chance, but will you fight this time? Can you forget about Alphonso Markantonis and become Alphonso Markantonis?”

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By dawn he was fully healed and he had been rejuvenated to about thirty years old. I watched the sky brighten and then told him, “I suggest you move to another country…after I arrange documents for you. Sell whatever properties you have and get the money out of Greece so that you have capital to get started again. Take your time, but do not take too long, or else you will end up doing nothing again. Alphonso, despite all the books you have read, you do not know how to fight, so whatever you try, you might fail. Don’t give up, consider failure a lesson so that your next attempt has a better chance of succeeding.” He nodded. “One other thing, as a man of honour, I ask that you respect my wishes and never speak to anyone of me. You never met me, I was just a dream you had - okay?”

During the previous evening, once I asked them to, Dommi and Robert and the other girls had shared from me every now and then, so they were not worried and when I returned home, they hugged me for a long time, inundating me with their love. Robert arranged for Tasso to visit Alphonso to get his details, and I am pleased that Tasso told us he did not ask him any questions about me.

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^{For those readers who have not understood, when they speak using telepathy, what they say is enclosed within stars, and the thoughts exchanged are in italic.
e.g *Hi, I bet you are wishing you could read thoughts.*?}

I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love. Yes, most of all, always of empathy and love.

* posted 23rd May, 2018