Little Cherine Book 05 - BPost026
Shyly she nodded. He went to Alki and looked over his shoulder. His eyes slowly raised from the picture to stare at Jade.
3051
“He did not exaggerate. Jade, I knew you were good, I could see you have an eye for a good setting, but this…this is magnificent!”
Alki turned back to the first picture and Robbie stared, his face scarlet. “Oh baby, did you have to?”
“It is what I saw.”
“I knew it. You were not supposed to put me in your paintings.”
“It is part of the story Robert. You said it symbolises life for all species universally. It is because of you that it does.”
He looked through the rest with Alki, neither of them speaking.
“We must not show these to the public Roberto. There will be too many who will want to know who the artist is.”
“They were meant to belong to all Cherinians Alki, she will not mind.”
Alki went to Jade and handed her the folder. He shook his head in wonder. “First Wendy, Lua, Candy, my own daughter Melina and now Jade. Such a few Cherinians and already so many geniuses!! Jade, I dreamed of finding just one artist as good as you are. You paint my darling and I’ll pay you whatever you want.”
“Not money pappou.”
He looked her in the eyes. He nodded and she closed her eyes. For the first time he opened his mind for one of us to join him. When he opened his eyes she stayed with hers closed for a long time. After a while she mind-spoke to us.
*He was a Cherinian before Cherine. He had the gift of empathy, it helped him make money, but it also made him soft so that he helped hundreds of people. He paid for children to have operations their parents could not pay for.*
*Jade! Stop right now! He has not opened to us, what he showed you was only for you.*
She giggled in our minds. *Robbie, he did not ask me to keep it secret, he knew my mind is shared. Anyway, he does not know what I told you. We should tell him; it will make him very happy. I kept it secret from him so that one of his daughters can tell him.*
*No. Not us, Bernie, do you agree? His first loves were Robert and Cherine. They should tell him.*
*I think it should be Cherine - from her it will be a miracle for him.*
*You do it Cherine.* Robbie sent.
*Can I see Jade?* We felt her go to Jade. Cherine opened her eyes and there were tears in them. She went and stood in front of pappou and the way she looked at him made him worry. He has his dark secrets, same as Robbie and all normal humans, and thought she is about to condemn him for one of them.
“Kyrie Alki Georgiade, mother, Theodora, Tania, Khalid, this is an official statement, to be entered in the history of all Cherinians. Sharing with Jade has exposed your secret Alki and we now have to declare you…the first Cherinian of Earth. First Terran Cherinian, we all honour you and I thank you for allowing everyone to think I was the first. As a child it meant a lot to me. As an adult, now it means more to me that you were, for there is none not directly of my family who is loved as much as you are. Alki, all the family agree with me. We declare you officially the first Terran Cherinian.”
Robbie wanted to make a joke about how we should now be called Alkians, but the moment was too special for jokes.
While talking, Cherine had brought her mother into her mind so that she can see directly, as did Bernie, Meli and Wendy (adopted daughter) and his other children. They bunched up on him, hugging him and crying so that he could not protest as he’d wanted to. Robbie declared this a day to be celebrated and we called the Cherinians of our world and reality to join us at Apostolis’ club. Apostoli called a number of his customers to cancel their bookings as he said this is a special occasion and we should celebrate freely without worries about Normals seeing us. He only has one waiter who has become a Cherinian, but we told him the man should come as our guest tonight. Us girls will take care of everything in honour of our father and/or pappou. Alki sat bemused through all this, wanting to protest, but being shushed by Marian.
3052
The music was playing, everyone was talking, dancing, drinking and having a good time when Robbie asked for silence. There was complete silence and we waited, thinking he wanted to make a speech. He went to the dance floor and waited, slightly to one side, leaving the center spot-lit and empty.
“My beloved Cherinians, tonight is a special night, what better time for us to welcome and take in a new Cherinian.” Allan and Eleni appeared as he began to speak. Allan brought her as an adult and we could all see she is in shock. She heard the words of Robbie, but her eyes were trying to see us, searching for my face I think. I stood up and walked over to her.
“He has explained? Do you still hate me?”
“It is true? But it can’t be!”
We all laughed. Cherine went to her and touched her cheek lightly. She looked at Allan. “You were right. I don’t know how you did it, but her heart has blossomed. I will link her to us if she agrees.”
Allan, his face a mask of love, turned to her, taking her hands in his. “Cherine, she did it, not me. Please, Eleni my love, join us?”
She nodded, said, “Yes” in an awed voice and began to cry. Apostoli took them to a private room that has four beds for his children. We all leaned forward onto the tables and went to the void; we also wanted to be part of her first arrival and visit to the void.
Eleni responded to the call and arrived, fearful but excited. First Allan danced with her, flooding the poor girl with his love motes. When she responded he withdrew and motes fell away from him. Cherine explained to Eleni.
*He is weeping. He never believed anyone can love him like you do. Go to him Eleni, keep showing him your love until he can accept it without tears of joy.*
While they exchanged Robbie asked us, *What do we do? Should we let them form their own World or do we accept them as part of ours?*
Everyone was in favour of bringing them in to ours. I disagreed. *He is not like Alki. He is not a team-player. He must have his own World. Robbie, he will be flattered and feel loved if we invite him and he will accept, but it will cause problems later on. I think he should have his own World and we make it a related World. That is the closest we should bring him to us.*
*Are you going to disagree with Arthur also love?* Cherine asked.
*Yes. We have to make clear to Allan why we want him to have his own World so that he does not make the mistake of asking Arthur to join him. They will end up fighting each other otherwise.*
*Robert, Sam is right. You explain to them.* She wants him to explain so that Allan does not think she is not offering because Robbie does not want her to offer; she thinks that if Robbie tells him, Allan will think Robbie is doing so because Cherine said no. Whereas it is I who said no! I enjoy this kind of convoluted thinking, but it does seem to me that we are going a bit overboard. When Robbie told him that he will have to wait until they have a third so as to form their own World, he laughed at Robbie, reminding him of his writing the diary - and that the need was established early on. Robbie then asked if he will agree to becoming a related circle.
He did not hide his amusement. *Are you playing politics Robert? The way you are going, listening to your heart, you are going to end up with most of us related to your World. Arthur too I presume, when you get him?*
*Most definitely. Perhaps with him it will be the other way around; we might be asked to be related to his.*
Allan sent motes of laughter spraying us all. *Robert, Arthur is just as big an arsehole as I am. You’d regret it.*
3053
We all welcomed Richard also. We were right, he has the loveliest possible soul. He has to be an old soul, no way can he be so pure and filled with love otherwise. We were surprised that they did not form their own World, but did not ask for their reasons.
While this was going on, the little ones had a go at Eleni. Having Candy and Goldi exchange kissing was too much for her and Allan quickly rescued her, taking her back to her body. We wanted to stay longer, but they are our guests so we all returned. We need not have hurried, we did not see them for hours. Cherine left them in the room alone, sending that they will not be disturbed. Having just been linked to us and Allan was enough to blow her mind, the need to be anchored to her body was a combination she could not handle. Luckily, just by chance, she had someone dying to help her.
It was the first time they made love and it was ironic, but perhaps healthier for their future, that she came to him as an adult. He is just as bad as Robbie; he had the girl nearly screaming as he slowly built up her passion and then kept her hanging on the edge until she was biting him from her need to find her glorious release. Now she knows what it feels like to make love, I do not think she will call it fucking again.
While on the subject of Allan - Arthur, we have someone to compare ourselves against so that you can have a clearer idea of what we look like.
Robbie is about the same height as Allan and both of them have tight stomachs, the flab or potbelly Allan had is gone. Robbie lets his hair grow a little bit too long, but I see Allan does also. Allan tells me that at an age of about ten he recalls his eyes having a slightly brown-green colour, but they changed to brown. Robbie as you know has green eyes.
Cherine at her favourite ages of eight to ten does not reach your nipples, sort of halfway between your chest and bellybutton. I, on the other hand, at my favourite age of eleven reach the top of your chest. Even when we are all the same body age we are not all the same height. Some of us prefer being taller - Claudia and myself for instance. Claudia recently changed her mind and at eleven barely reaches your nipples. All of us have slim bodies and when ten or younger that cute bum that appeals to all you paedophiles, sticking out and with a slightly round tummy. You realise of course it is because of Robbie. We all mould ourselves on what we feel delights him. Candy and Goldi still keep themselves as five year olds while the first adult among us, Dommi, prefers the age of ten to eleven, but she quickly ages herself if guests arrive. It just goes to show, size and age really do not matter. Even if Dommi is a five year old, Robbie and all of us still listen to her and she emotes her mother love even as a baby.
Allan says that to any Normal we are a weird household and family. Sometimes Robbie makes himself about ten (just for fun, you understand) and we then would be seen as a house full of very naughty children.
It is going to take me some time to settle back into our lifestyle on Earth. I’ve become used to living on an adrenaline high with crisis after crisis. Going to a coffee shop and watching people walk by as we chat feels wrong - I keep feeling I should be doing or worrying about something. It makes me think I’ve forgotten to do something important.
Robbie spent a lot of time communing with Jade’s mind, hoping to identify the nodes of compulsion, as he calls it, that have turned her into his protector. Apparently whatever those nodes are, they are too widespread, too closely linked to what makes Jade, Jade. He is now accompanied by Dommi - Cherine finds her own need to protect Robbie weakens her abilities to discern clearly. Dommi enters her with the care and tenderness of a mother and Jade does not resent her, knowing she will not do anything to change her. It is Robbie she fears. She does not want to lose her compulsion, which I understand, as it would not be a compulsion otherwise.
I’m just blathering. Come on! Somebody must have a problem they need me for - please save me, I’m bored!
Aganthi, Claudia and Maria are very busy and excited. For the first time they have had more applications for enrolment than the school(s) can handle. The word must have got out about the school and a magazine wants to do an article about it. Luckily it was all done in the name of Alki, so none of us will be exposed. The press love writing about him, they call him a gentleman and always treat him (in their articles) with respect. Not because of his money. For one, he has steered clear of politics, never speaking out for any party. Most journalists dream of becoming authors of a book that will become a huge success. They admire his patronage of the arts, his willingness to help artists directly and discretely rather than pumping money into museums and public galleries for his name to be quoted.
3054
During the episode with Hettie (Doris), when Alki sold out of all his businesses and then turned everything around by producing advanced technology products which cannot be matched by any other major company, he brought considerable prestige and respect for Greek scientists. We never mentioned of course that no Greek scientist developed the product, but Keith has taken steps and hired Greeks in R&D and once they understand the concepts, they begin to invent other products or improve those we have, based on our ability to manufacture under simulated lower gravity. That is the key of course. The scientists are driven to prove themselves in the hope they will join some secret inner circle of scientists who know how it was achieved. If they had known that all they needed so as to qualify, is the ability to love and feel empathy, I think they would have thrown their hands up and walked out in despair.
Allan did not trust himself to do it properly and brought Eleni over for us to help open doors in her mind. As she stood by him when they entered, we all stared with admiration, for she truly is a glorious creature, Allan idealised her own features and though she has a face that is peculiar to her and no one else, it is delicate and yet strong, earthy, her ancestry obvious and yet something about her beauty is international in appeal. The eyes, those eyes once so small and hard (cunning) are now large, liquid and warm. I did not make any attempt to reach into her mind to see whether the interior matches her external appearance.
She was absorbed in a search for something, so she hardly noticed me. When her eyes found Goldi they lit up.
“It was you!” Goldi shyly smiled. “But you are so young!”
Allan grinned. “Goldi, you made a big impression on her in the void.”
Robbie stepped forward. “Welcome Eleni.” She shook his hand, gave a last look at Goldi and, as we’d expected she turned to me.
“I know.”
I waited, but that was all she had to say to me it seems.
“Are you still angry with me?”
“Sometimes. It doesn’t matter, you did it for Allan.”
“She did not Eleni, she did it also for you.” Dommi spoke with her ‘mother’ voice and Eleni kept quiet. “She was one of the only ones who believed in you. I admit it was because she loves Allan, but when the rest of us could not see how we can reach your heart, she refused to give up.”
“I know exactly why she did it - Allan let me see. Samantha, do you think…do you think we can become friends?”
“Hold on!” Allan was trying not to laugh, but we could see the laughter in his eyes. “Perhaps you should get to know her first. She can be quite a pain in the backside at times.”
I gave him a dark look. “I’ll remember that Allan.” I went to her. “What happened Eleni? The way you have changed, I can’t explain it. You seem so mature and open at the same time. I thought it will take a long time for it to happen.”
“The others, they are not the same? Pain did not make them different? Allan told me it helped change me.”
I looked at Aganthi, Theresa, Wendy. My eyes lingered on Maria as I nodded. “You are right.”
“To know what pain is, how the world can hurt you, and then discover what love is…it is not the same as the stories on television. This kind of love, it makes me free Samantha - as if I can touch the sun.”
“Call me Sam. Why don’t we make ourselves comfortable and have something to drink. Eleni, I’m curious what gift you will bring to us.” She looked at Allan nervously and followed us to the lounge.
I decided she needs an explanation. “What we call gifts are latent abilities every human mind has. We do not all have the same abilities. Some of them seem to be almost universal, the healer for instance, but every now and then someone joining us comes with a new gift or talent. To open the doors in your mind, we will have to come in and help you. We cannot do so if you do not welcome us Eleni.”
3055
“Allan says I have to let Cherine come in.”
Cherine gave her a smile. “Are you afraid of me Eleni? I will never hurt you.”
“Not afraid…nervous. Why can’t Goldi be the first?”
I was puzzled and the others sensed it. We can all feel her emoting a slight nervousness, but it did not feel right to me. Her words told me she is afraid and yet she is not emoting fear! Allan had not picked up the discrepancy and with his arm around her only radiated happiness. He saw her reaction as a sort of childish fear and it touched his heart; of course, his own emotions are blinding him. I was growing more suspicious and was trying my best to hide my thoughts - which is a good way of attracting everyone’s attention. Robbie leant over and looked at me, but did not speak. Dommi felt we have remained silent too long and spoke.
“The prime gift every Cherinian needs is the empathy that Cherine opens in us. Eleni she will not…”
“If you want Goldi first, it’s okay with us.” Dommi and then the rest looked at me sharply, trying to crowd into my mind. I shrugged them off. *Whatever makes her most comfortable Dommi.* She did not agree with me, but nodded her agreement. Eleni gave a wide smile and Robbie sent to us, *Damn that Allan, he has made her too lovely. What a smile!* He did it so that Allan will feel he overheard Robbie, and it made him glow. I felt a fear. Are we all wrong? Is she going to hurt him after all?
Using a privacy signal I warned Goldi and our sweetheart deluged me with her sweetness. She closed her eyes and went into Eleni. I was certain Eleni wanted her because she sees her as the most innocent of us, the weakest and easiest to fool. I must have broadcast my feelings, for Allan gave me a sharp look.
None of us can feel what Goldi is feeling behind or under the emoting of her gift and she surprised us by opening her eyes with a wide grin. “Can I tell them Eleni? She let me see her as a baby. Robbie, she was so lovely, until her father began to hurt her.”
Eleni pulled away, out of the arm Allan had around her and she stood up. “Let’s go home Allan.”
“What’s wrong?”
She stared at me, her eyes hardening. “Ask your special friend Samantha.” She walked out of the room and left the house before he could react.
“Sam, what was that all about?” Even as he asked, he was walking out.
“Allan, stay here. Let me go to her.”
He surprised me by obeying. I ran out after her. She was an adult and I an eleven year old and I had trouble walking as fast as she did. “Please Eleni, I must talk to you, but I can’t walk this fast and talk.”
“Why should I care?”
“Because you want to hear what I have to say.”
She stopped and looked at me. “I don’t need to hear what you say.”
“You heard…I mean, you felt my thoughts? You were not supposed to, they were for my family only. Allan didn’t.”
“He never notices…forget it, it is not your business what he does.”
“It is Eleni. Anything one Cherinian does or says, any pain...”
“I don’t care. I don’t want to be a Cherinian.”
“Why? Because of me?”
“You would be a good reason. Cherinians! You are not what Allan told me you are. I’d rather keep away from you.”
3056
“What did he say we are? That we have empathy? We feel the pain of others and cannot hurt each other?”
She stared at me coldly. “Yes.”
“He was right Eleni. That does not mean we are not human beings. We are not angels from God. We can also make mistakes. When we do though, we run after those we hurt and apologise and we feel like crying.”
She laughed, not really amused. “You talk in a funny way.”
I grinned and then looked at the tarmac. “Eleni, will you come into my mind? Too much has happened between us and anything I say or do will only make you become suspicious of me - like I was of you. I thought you chose Goldi because she is the youngest and will be easy to fool. It was not the reason, was it?”
“I did want her because she is the youngest and will look without thinking bad things of me.”
I took a chance. “Eleni, did you know you have a gift?”
She had turned away, ready to leave. She turned back in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“You have a gift none of us have. I’m not certain we should have it. It frightens me.”
For a second the old Eleni came through, a glee filling her that she has a power I fear.
“It is not a power Eleni, it is something that will make all the Cherinians sad. If it is what I fear, you will change us and destroy something beautiful. Can you understand why I reacted the way I did?”
She wanted to know what it is, but I insisted either Cherine or Robbie has to decide whether to talk about it and succeeded in bringing her back. My words had frightened them all and they did not speak as we sat down.
Robbie stood up, looked at Allan and walked to the garden for a cigarette. He stayed there for a long time, his mind closed to us. Cherine got up.
“I’m going to him. Sam, if you are right…” she shook her head and left us.
Allan and Eleni saw and felt the girls, their fear and dismay.
He turned to her. “Eleni, if they are right, we have spoilt something beautiful. Even between us. We have to leave, go to some world where there are no Cherinians.” Tears filled his eyes. “Why? Why did this have to happen?”
“It is not her fault Allan, none of us know from before what gifts we will bring. The two of you are not leaving, you have to stay.”
“Don’t Sam. If we have to, we leave. I refuse to stay and destroy what I love.”
“What did I do? I didn’t do anything!”
I went to her. “My mind is open to you, come in. You are not in danger, I will be if you hate me.”
I showed her how and she came in. I calmed her with an exchange of love motes and showed her how to go through my memories. I opened my eyes and saw Aganthi is holding me. I squeezed her arm and waited, feeling Eleni as she rifled through my life, taking what was sweet, what was shameful, seeing everything. I had to force myself from reacting instinctively and kept myself open to her. Robbie and Cherine came back in, then Alki and Marian came over, but nobody spoke a word, all waiting for her to finish. She must have taken three hours.
I felt her leave my mind, but she did not open her eyes. She lay there with eyes closed and tears leaked out. By the time she opened her eyes she was composed, but she emoted a cold icy rage.
“You are stupid! You have something so beautiful and you treat it as if it is nothing special. How can you do it Samantha?” She turned on Allan. “You fucking idiot! I’m leaving and don’t you dare come to me ever again.”
3057
As she marched out, her footsteps faltered and she froze. Robbie went to her.
“I’m sorry love, but you can’t leave.” She could not move, but her eyes turned and stared into his. If she expected to see weakness, a softness, she must have been disappointed. His face cold and stern he stared back. “No Cherinian is allowed to sacrifice herself for other Cherinians unless the others accept the sacrifice or else you place a burden on their souls for all eternity. Go back and sit down. We will talk about the problem so that we understand it and then we’ll make a decision, all of us, together.”
She refused to be intimidated by him and stared back coldly. “You do not control me, I will never allow anyone to control me again.”
He got at her the only way he can, by proving her wrong. He sent her a blast of such love I’m certain she has never felt before. She staggered. “Why?” she called out.
Allan took her within his arms, a grin on his face. “You did not know he loves spunky little girls. You’ve got more guts than I have, love. Come and sit with us, we’ll find a solution, I promise. If you must leave, then we leave together. Do you think leaving will help love? You will grow old and die. What do you think will happen then, you’ve been to the void. If you have a gift, it will not go away, you will return with it again and again for all eternity.” He looked around. “It would help me if someone would explain exactly what the problem is.”
“Think back to when you arrived here earlier Allan. What was she emoting? Nervousness? Listen to her words in your mind again.” Robbie waited, remaining silent.
Allan nodded. “She was afraid, but was able to hide it from us. If she had blocked her mind it would have not been a problem, but her mind was open to us and yet we had to listen to her words to know what she really felt. If we all learn to do it, how does that change us?”
He asked Eleni, “Where you afraid my love?” She nodded and he slumped. When he looked at her again he straightened. “Robert, you do whatever has to be done. Do not allow us to harm the Cherinians - and remember your own words; you, none of you, have the right to make a sacrifice without our permission.”
“What can we do Allan, you said it yourself, there is no alternative.”
“Put us in stasis.” He pulled her face so that she stared into his eyes. “We do not dare let them see what door was opened in your mind love. Robert can put us to sleep and keep us exactly as we are right now. Whenever the Cherinians have grown stronger and your gift is no longer a threat, he can bring us back to carry on with our lives. We’ll be together my love, just you and me forever.”
She nodded, but tears poured down her cheeks. “I was wrong, you are not weak Allan. I love you.” She put her head on his shoulder and they clung to each other tightly as Allan asked, his voice soft, “Do it now Robert.”
We all wept as Robert left for the void and returning collected them within a sphere of energy and their bodies, their minds, their links to us, all disappeared. We all cried out with a pain greater than any of us had thought to feel. Even Alki and Marian were weeping. Goldi, poor Goldi who had been in her mind so recently was hurting so much Dommi had to enter her mind and soothe her the only way she knew how to. We soon had Cherinians from everywhere jumping to us and as they heard, grief filled them too and soon Sol and Ordinx were with us. Only two minds were blocked to us. Cherine and Robert. They wept, but would not share with us, their minds only open to each other.
To non-Cherinians it will sound hypocritical of me to say we wept and grieved for Eleni just as much as we did for Allan. I don’t care, we did. She is a brave human being and a Cherinian.
It did not hit me the first day, but once I could see past the immediate grief I began to examine myself and I saw how much I am to blame for. Arthur, how much you must hate me. All I do is cause trouble for everyone. Oh my Goldi, my sweet baby, what have I done to you…
I’ve been sitting here for I don’t know how long trying to think of what to write. I saw the last pages Sam wrote and deleted them. I’ll let the last paragraphs above serve as a hint of where she was going. It feels as if our family is falling apart. Not only the family, but at this moment I only care about my loves.
3058
Sam went into a very deep depression very fast and no matter what any of us do we cannot pull her back. Goldi went into shock when I put Eleni in stasis. Having just been in her mind she was too closely linked to her. Sam blamed herself, seeing her keen mind that always looks beyond the obvious as being the cause of not only this disaster, but all the troubles of our past. It is obvious she is not using that same keen razor sharp mind to examine herself and is only looking at everything from a narrow jaundiced viewpoint.
The truth is that I have come to depend on her and I relaxed my vigilance, not keeping myself as aware of the undercurrents which would have warned me before things reached this stage! I should have realised she needed help from the last time she cut herself off from us. She has such a direct way of talking and looking at me when she takes a stand against me, that I only saw her strength and forgot she is a child and human in her needs and fears.
I cannot afford to talk myself into the same depression as her. I have to think of what I do now. All the girls are dedicated to looking after Goldi and Sam, so I dare not show them I’m floundering. They need me to be strong for them. If only they knew the truth, they would see what a joke it is.
Alki has withdrawn, trying to keep from me his disapproval of what I did with Allan and Eleni. Since he sees how my loves are suffering he spends his time with them and is not there for me. The rest of our Cherinians are torn. Either they do not see the threat to us that Eleni is, or else I am over-reacting, blowing it up disproportionately. I no longer am certain. That is a lie! Cherine still stands by me on my decision.
Oh God!! I just had to rush into Goldi to help pull her mind together. It is falling apart! Sam feels it and she is trying to destroy her mind! There is nothing I can do. I’m writing this quickly so that there is a record. I have to bring them back. Either way we lose, but I cannot worry about the future of the Cherinians at this time.
This is Allan. Robert is in no state to keep a fair and true record of these days and I volunteered to write for him.
He brought us back from stasis. When we found out what was happening, Eleni ran away. I did not know what to do, but I decided I had to stay. As much as I love her, this family has to come first. She does not need me as much as they do and I owe them my loyalty, for they bought it with their love.
I have been thinking. I have to bring Eleni back. She must go into the mind of Goldi and help her.
I did something that upset Robert, but I felt I had to. I took Sam to the office and put my arms around her.
“Sam my love. I know how you are feeling, but you have to be strong for us my baby. Without you this family is falling apart. Blame yourself later if you want, but right now Goldi has to come first. You must come with me, I’ll need help in getting Eleni to come back to make Goldi well. Can you do this for me love?”
The longer I talked, the stronger I felt her becoming. I can sense far behind, somewhere deep within her a cry of protest, that she needs to heal herself, go through her depression first, but I hardened my heart and pushed until I felt her pull herself together.
“Why do you need me Allan? You can bring her.”
“She might not come back for me Sam. She’ll listen to you.”
“Me!? Why me, she must hate me.”
“Even if she does, she will still come for you.”
This is a moment that being a Cherinian is a curse - feeling the screams of protest as she forced herself to shut herself off from the child in her, it is something I cannot bear to remember.
Eleni was at our home, curled up on our bed. When she heard us come in she looked up and her face was wet with her tears. How my sweet baby girl has changed. I let Sam talk to her, only trying to send my love.
3059
Sam explained what the effect on Goldi has been and why. “Eleni, if you go back into her mind, let her feel your link, but when she also hears your voice, feels your love, feels that you are really alive and with us, it may help pull her back. Please,” she began to sob, “please do it for our Goldi. She needs you.”
Eleni asked to speak to me alone. What she said is not for me to write here, but I realised what she planned.
“My love, you have just learnt about the Cherinians. What you plan, it has been tried. Do you think Robert, just to name one, has not felt the need to stop existing? Whatever you try, I promise you, it has been tried and the girls have a found a way to prevent it. We will hold a storytelling and you will learn what my dear Cherinians have been through over twenty years.” I smiled at her. “It is worth staying alive just to experience it.” I warned her about Sam, the condition she had been in and what I had done to her. She stared at me.
“How did I ever think you are soft? You are just like him!” She meant Robert and being compared to him made me smile.
I went with her into Goldi’s mind and it was just as well I did. It broke Eleni’s heart and she needed to be held and soothed before her distraught state caused more damage to Goldi. She came out of her funk with a steely resolve to bring back Goldi. I let her go and watched as Dommi and Cherine helped her. When Goldi appeared, it looked for a moment as if the two of them had melded, but since neither Cherine nor Dommi, nor Robert who waited by me, took any action, I presumed it was alright and kept calm.
Sol is spending this period with her family and when Goldi opened her eyes and gave a small timid smile and we felt her sweetness, Sol shot off to pass the news on to all Cherinians.
The girls made certain Alki and Marian came over and we sat drinking coffee, for this once the girls insisting we smoke in the house.
“What you did was wrong Roberto, I am glad you brought them back.”
“Alki, it was not his idea. I suggested it.”
“It does not matter, the responsibility is his.” I felt the heart of Eleni reach out to Robert, and Cherine smiled at her.
Robert stood up and paced up and down, his thoughts and pain showing on his face. “No excuses Allan. It is not necessary to blame me Alki, I am far angrier with myself than you can ever be. Protector, appear.”
Eleni watched with eyes growing huge as the protector took his form. “What the hell were you doing? Why didn’t you stop me?”
“You did nothing to harm my primes.”
“What happened to Goldi and Sam, you did not see that as harming them?” His voice and eyes showed the protector was in danger.
“I did not foresee the effect on them. When it happened you had already caused the damage, Robert. Are you directing me to look forward and make assumptions and stop you if I think you may harm them?”
For a second his eyes glinted with something close to rage and then his features softened, more wary than angry. He gave a forced laugh. “No, it would not be a good idea. I’m sorry, I was looking for a scapegoat and since you are not willing to help out, I’ll have to face the music on my own.”
“That’s alright Robert, you are not a prime.”
Robert stared at him for a second and then burst out laughing. “I’ll be damned, you are developing a sense of humour. Take a seat, perhaps you should be part of this meeting.”
Eleni asked Robert, “I don’t understand. You told me I was going to spoil what is beautiful about being a Cherinian, but you never explained. How?”
He looked thoughtful. “It might be better I tell you a story first. Perhaps you will find it easier to understand then.
3060
When I first met Cherine and she opened my mind to her, we could not hide even one thought from each other. If either of us was in pain the other one shared it fully. At that time Cherine was eight years old and when I could not stop myself from making love to her, I was torn apart, riddled by guilt. I feared my love was bad for her and when she decided to hurt me, because she was angry, I took the pain and holding it to me I found a way to block her out. It made her panic, but once I was back to normal she thought she saw an advantage to being able to block me off when she is in pain, not wanting to hurt me. The first time she did it, I fell to pieces. Can you guess why?”
“You wanted to feel her pain!”
“You’ve missed the point love. Up until that moment I’d felt secure. If she decided she does not love me, if she found another man attractive and wanted to be with him, she could not hide it from me. I could be certain she loves me or not. Certain, can you imagine that! As you grow and look around, you will see how blind Normal people are. I’d been in love with Dommi before I met Cherine. As deeply as I loved her she could not feel it - as I too could only depend on the cues her body gave me, her actions and words, so as to believe she loves me. I could not feel it.
Till that moment I’d had that knowledge with Cherine. She could not lie to me. Now she can, I thought, and I felt my world had fallen apart, I’d lost my paradise.
We learnt to live with the new ability and we use it now and then,” he grinned, “mostly when we are angry with each other.” He stopped to light a cigarette and I noticed his fingers were trembling. Eleni also noticed, but kept quiet.
“It seems you are to bring us a change even more drastic than the ability to block each other.” Her face paled. “If your gift is what we think it is, we will be able to keep our minds open to each other, on the surface, while hiding emotions and feelings underneath. It does not sound like much to you love, but it changes so much of what we take for granted about each other! Even we cannot bear to think it through to see all the ways it will harm us."
Alki spoke, his voice firm. “Perhaps you should think on it Roberto. You must face the worst and then once you have, you may be able to see it more clearly. Before you frighten Eleni and us again, make certain there is something to be afraid of.”
“May I speak Robert?” He nodded at the protector. “When I was first created you spent a lot of time thinking about me, wondering what I was. As your gifts and powers grew, as your understanding of what being a Cherinian is, you stopped wondering about me, except for doing so in a casual idle way.” Robert nodded in agreement. “Think about it again Robert. Do that now, think about me first and then about Eleni and what she may bring to you. One question for you to ponder while you think about it. If you saw her as a threat, why didn’t you call for me to seal the door in her mind, block it. You could have asked the Anadir. Instead you agreed to sacrifice the two of them.”
I know I flushed. I was angry. “Oh no you don’t! You do not blame this on Robert. He has enough to worry about without you demanding he thinks of everything. If anybody here, and that includes you protector, saw an answer, it was unfair to keep quiet and expect him to find it. We each have a responsibility to all Cherinians, just as much as he does.”
“Allan, I am Robert.”
“Bull! That is nonsense! You are a part of him, granted, but a part he cannot access directly.”
“When I attacked Robert, what did that say about his own mental health Allan?”
“Are you saying he was crazy?”
He laughed. “It will please him to have me say so. No, Allan, what I am saying is that every human being has feelings, thoughts, fears that lie beneath the surface of their minds. Robert thinks he sees all in the minds of those he loves. Does he? How did he allow Sam to break down twice within such a short time? How can he be expected to sense the thoughts churning beneath the surface, when Sam herself cannot?”
Cherine asked, “You mean that even with sensing what we emote and reading each others’ thoughts, using telepathy, we still cannot know the real person!”
“Do you know yourself Cherine?”
I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love - and should some of it be true for our reality, I hope you will love our Cherine.
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)23rd November, 2019
- posted: 23rd November, 2019
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