"Should I have sex with a man who is not my TrueLove?"
Hi,
I think that someone already asked this, but I need your advice. I have been seeing someone from my college for several months and I can definitely say he’s my boyfriend. I feel love for him but I’m not sure he is my TrueLover and I’m not fully convinced that we will live together for the rest of our lives. Last week he asked me again to have sex with him and I really don’t know what to do. Is it wrong to have sex with someone who is not your TrueLover? Maybe the word ‘wrong’ is too harsh but you know what I mean.
Thank you
Catherine
Credit: pixabay
Catherine,
No, it is not wrong to be intimately involved and to have sex with someone whom you do not truly love. It is not wrong because you are never judged; there isn’t any grand entity always watching you from above who decides whether or not you have sinned.
TrueLove is a state of consciousness that humanity is quickly moving towards. For some people, it takes few years to reach that state, whereas for others it may take a whole lifetime and even more. On the journey, we meet many people and have many experiences some more pleasant than others. There is no doubt that when we choose to do certain things the outcomes can impede our journey, and in practice, we may be taking one step forward and three steps backwards. Although we learn from such events there is absolutely no need to experience any sadness or any failure on the journey. Your path can really be paved with gold, diamonds and beauty. So by now you already know to appreciate the dark episodes that come upon you and not to judge them.
When two people choose to join together they had better make the conscious decision to unite at all levels; meaning physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Once this full alliance is made, sex can become one of the most wonderful, rejuvenating and enjoyable experiences for a human being. The intensity of the feelings that are experienced in love making, a kind of art performance, cannot be described in words but has to be felt personally. When you are in bed with someone you truly and genuinely love, you are placing yourself in a sweet place of empowerment, enjoyment and mastery all at the same time. You are fully connected with your body and your spirit and the connection, being perfectly appropriate, leaves no room for anything less than sheer joy, reassurance and happiness.
Credit: Amazon
At this point, I would like to recommend a book for you to read that briefly discusses sexual force. This book is called “Sexual Force or the Winged Dragon”, and I am convinced that the insights contained in the book will trigger from within you the necessary, silent catalysts which will, in turn, take you forward to many more understandings.
The question that you should actually ask yourself, Catherine, is what are you doing with someone that you do not see as your lifelong partner? If you look for TrueLove then why are you compromising your feelings, your body, your visions, your spirit, the God that you are?! If you were with your TrueLover right now, you would not need to doubt yourself or question whether or not to have sex with him, would you? The fact that you are battling with that question gives a proof, a wonderfully helpful tool, that something must be changed in your life in order to gain balance, harmony and satisfaction.
Having said all that, humans are notorious for over thinking situations. You are young at heart, indoctrinated by the society's images about relationships and love and therefore your mind is full of doubts and concerns. But generally the mind should be left aside when relationships are at stake If you allow yourself to enjoy the beautiful moments with your boyfriend you may be surprised to find out that your simple love connection is developing to become a beautiful true-love relationship.
Good Luck!
Beautiful words for Catherine and talking about sex, I feel that many of the problems in erotic relationships are based on standards driven by what companies tell us and we reaffirm society, which I mean by this that today has given too much importance to sex and less importance to create strong bonds based on communication, respect and understanding.
A tip for Catherine, live your moment, enjoy, believe, do everything that makes you feel comfortable and do not let them pressure you, it is your body, it is your sexuality and you have the right to enjoy it.
I second this empowering message for women 👍
Asides from that, the truth is, some people are somewhat clueless to what the depth of a relationship means, and think having frequent sex is the only way they can keep the connection and keep the fire burning. Is this really true?
I’ve also observed that the reason most people indulge in sex in their relationships is because;
They have trust issues so they constantly arouse or seduce their partner, emotionally trying to keep (tie) their partner to themselves and themselves alone.
They don’t know any other way to bond or interest their partner. They know nothing asides from sex to keep their relationship moving.
They think sex is a re-assurance that their partner still loves them the same way they did before or even at all.
They assume their partner is just interested in sex, think their partner loves them because of the sex, think their partners won’t leave them because of the sex.
They have low self esteem and have sex to keep to feel appreciated and keep their emotions in check.
Some of my friends think sex is love, but I say they are two different things. I mean, a man can have sex with a woman he has no feelings for, likewise a woman. Sex doesn’t necessarily involve emotions, and when done in this scenario stated above, it’s to simply attain pleasure.
upvoted and resteem
Nicely put👍
yeah!!
thanks for your perusal.
Very well said sir! Being too young have much to learn about true love and true love is like an investment, we have to invest time, money to develop true relationships, the question from Catherine is a hard decision on her part, but the question should be, is your boyfriend loves you? you can sense whether he loves you or not by holding sex, take your time until you are ready to have sex with your partner if he truly loves you he can wait. :)
I agree. Keep things and feelings as simple as possible. It’s much easier this way. Overthinking leads to mistakes. Even though I would rather make a mistake and learn from it, than not making any. We are just a humans and your advise to her to go for it maybe a mistake as well, but if she doesn’t try, she wouldn’t find out. I would tell her “what are you waiting for? Go for it” as well.
Oh, my lawyer aspect still inhibits me from time to time.
Lol
The exact amount of love that sexual love does not express is that I think this love is publicly by God.
I think each person expresses the pain and sincerity of each other through love. I think sexual love is the most loved of God, because of love, because of the real love of love, and a sincere expression of love. I think this love is the first.
God should show our respect for love because love for God is the real love.
You know, there is much truth in what you said, and I'll take it a little further. If people make sex with each other while being aware that they also make love with themselves /God, then enlightenment will dawn upon them faster and smoother.
My spontaneous limerick to your article:
If you think sex is a sinful act,
Your mind is out of tact,
for it is essentially within you,
what you deem to be true,
so don't let your thoughts make you whacked.
Hopefully your reply helps her ;)
And/or your rhymes 🙂
The relation between love and sex is totally based on somoneone's personality,priorities, ethics etc.If I talk about myself,for me the most important thing is the emotional bond!then only I can think of moving ahead further with the person(no matter how hot/beautiful the other one is).I'm the kind of person who values emotions first and more then anything even our physical needs you can call it my ethics or whatever but that's how things are with me.I can't even think of getting laid with someone without being in true love with her
There are various levels of emotions. Some people go through a complete life cycle without reaching the consciousness of enlightenment (true love). I do second your words though about bringing feelings to the sexual connection.
I so love the answer you gave to this young lady. The real question shouldnt be weather it is wrong to have sex with someone she isn't sure about but what she is actually doing with such a person. Many people these days watse their precious time in the name of relationship and they dwell in the wrong relationships . Sex isn't a bad thing but it should be done right else it goes wrong. Nobody wants to be played or toyed with and that's why we should be very careful with whom we chose to give it all to.
You response is all she needs. I think you did justice to it.
You know, it may sound weird but sometimes, for some people, it's beneficial to toy with each other. They are consciously put themselves in a limited situation to gain some wisdom.
A kindergarten boy was draw an image og God. He drew an eye. When asked why, he explained that God is an all seeing eye. God is seeing all that go on on the earth. What h decides to with all that he sees is up to him.
Catherine, your body should be an exclusive reserve for only one man who truely loves you. It is called fidelity. Stay safe.
My opinion is that she's overthinking it.
Sex is a beautiful thing and it makes people happier.
I believe that if everyone had sex, world would be a much happier place.
For me personally, it doesn't need to be with someone you love.
But, I still am against people who have different sex partners every week or so.
You're risking getting infected and it's just not healthy.
I really don't know why this girl is so undecisive about this, as he is her boyfriend...
I believe she'll be glad after she has sex.