Me being in the online dating game for years and getting to know new people via Tinder, Instagram and Steemit, because going out to meet people is so last season, I have received my fair share of dickpics along the way. I know, shocking, who sends them and what for, and what does it result in.

Being on the receiving end of a ton of dickpics and talking to my girlfriends who have gotten them too, I can say I have quite a lot of information about them, from a womanly perspective.

Most of my guy friends have acted appalled by the notion of their fellow men sending dick pics, asking if that really is a thing and that they are ashamed for their gender. I reckon some of them are lying because with the amount of dickpics I have received, there is bound to be someone in my circle of friends who is sending them too.

Itty bitty tricky dick picky

While there is nothing inherently wrong about a dickpic, it is a hard craft to master and can easily result in a catastrophe. A dickpic tells a lot about the man who send them, a lot more than just the size of their penis. You can do a full blown psychological analysis of a man just based on who they send the picture to, what was their relationship status at that point and what was the context. There is quite a difference in sending a dickpic to someone who you’ve only just changed two hey how are you messages with, than for someone you have been dating for a while and clearly have a lot sexual chemistry with.

I’ve gotten dickpics seemingly out of nowhere, and I’ve had men literally beg for my permission to send me a pic of their magnificent penis. I find it hilarious and pathetic and I truly do not understand what pleasure they would get out of me seeing their dick, when I very clearly express I have zero interest in it and would never want to grace it with my presence in real life. I guess some men get off on just showing their penis to someone who is unwilling to witness it. I treat those men with as much ignorance as possible, as to not give them anything they wish for, because I sure as hell ain’t getting anything good out of that exchange.

I’ve also gotten dickpics that have been somewhat nice and come at a right time and place. Timing is key!

It’s a no from me

In a rare occasion, there is a woman who just wants the D, and doesn’t care about the man it is attached to, but it really is very very rare. I mean your odds are better in winning the lottery and getting bitten by a shark.

I know some ladies get very offended, and even scared upon the sight of a dick on their phone screen, which is kind of funny because a dick is one of the least threatening things to exist in this world. It’s a small, ugly, very vulnerable organ that mostly just hangs flaccid and sweaty between a guys legs. I understand being scared of getting raped in a dark alleyway or something like that, but a dick itself, in a picture, is very harmless, often a pitiful sight.

Never have I ever been on the fence about a guy, and then gotten a dickpic that has complete made me fall for them, never ever. If I don’t fancy a guy before seeing a dickpic, the picture will only make me resent them, not want them. I have told this to numerous men throughout the years and some fail to understand that their dick is not something that makes me want them.

I’ve talked to my girlfriends about this and most of us just go “why?” when we get a dickpic. Like why would you send a dicpick out of the blue and what do you think that will result in. Just no.

In order to appreciate a dickpic, you reeaaaally have to like the guy and feel a lot of attraction towards him, in order to tolerate a picture of his penis. To be completely honest, dicks aren't that hot you know and women don't get turned on by the sight of a naked male, like men do of a naked woman. Those are the facts.

In favour of dick pics

While most of the time unsolicited dickpics, key word here being unsolicited, are disgusting and result in having to block the person who send it, they are quite useful at times. Let’s imagine a girl has been dating a guy for a while, going to the movies, dinner and drinks, and is really starting to fancy him. She will start to wonder if he is well equipped between his legs, or will she be disappointed. This is where a dickpic can be very helpful in deciding the next step. If in the mids of some steemy sexting the girls get a dickpic, she can easily decide to either proceed to the next base, or let out a sigh of relief for dodging that bullet.

Let’s not kid ourselves, size matters and it is very disappointing if the guy is otherwise really good but lacks on that particular department. I know it sounds cruel but it’s the god honest truth.

Dickpic tips

If you are completely sure that the person you intend to send a picture of your schlong wants to see it, take the necessary steps to make the image look half decent, while being completely indecent.

You will want to have your penis standing up in the picture, but I think that is a given.

One very crucial aspect about taking a dickpic is to have the surrounding area well groomed and CLEAN YOUR FUCKING ROOM. If you have boxers showing in the picture, they better be nice, crisp and clean too, and no funny boxers with Garfield on them, you are a grown man, not a teenage boy.

As with any selfies, lighting is key, you gotta take the picture in good light, lord knows you are gonna need all the help you can get.

If you are just dipping your toe (read:dick) in the water, I would suggest sending a picture with just tight boxers on, that will probably result in much more favourable response from the woman.

If you want to play it safe, don’t send a dickpic, the chances are that it will not lead you to having intercourse with the receiving end of said picture, which I assume is the end goal.

I'm always interested in hearing about this modern dating culture from the mens perspective, please let me know your thoughts in the comment section. No judgement of course, this is a safe place, just like you can assume from the picture in this post ;)