I see what you're getting at, but I do not see God as an excuse for my misdeeds. I am struggling with many things currently, but an inability to take responsibility for my actions is not one of them.

I understand why it may seem like a pretty intense ultimatum, but I should have made it clearer that this is not the first time I have visited this very choice. Each time I end up going backwards, but this time I would like to go forward. So, believe me when I say it would not be as difficult as you might expect. I am already half way there, and have greatly limited the frequency of my betraying my morals for "necessity."

I find it always works out in the end. I never knew what I was going to do a couple years ago when I quit yet another job because it was forcing me to betray my sense of morality. I didn't know how things would be okay, but I discovered Steemit soon after and have managed to, for the most part, meet all of my outgoing expenses solely through Steemit and through increasing earnings on bittrex before I withdraw them.

Your advice is great, but it is wasted on me. I do this every day anyway, and I do not do it with just one thing. I'm also not underestimating the potential ramifications of such a decision. I am well aware that to adhere to ones own moral code, unwavering, within an immoral society, could quite possibly lead to death or to incarceration. Neither of those things are a cause of distress to me. I'm likely to go to jail eventually for tax evasion anyway, and I've been writing a book in my head for years that I will transcribe when I have time to in my cell. Death isn't a fear of mine either. I'll be happy to get a rest from this chore of an existence. The real consequences will not be my own/ My legitimate fear is that my decision to live how I want to live in spite of my environment will lead to my family living how they do not want to live to ensure that I don't end up in jail or dead. I don't want them to get their hands dirty or sweaty all so that I might be able to keep mine clean. It would be hard to look upon such a decision as admirable or righteous if my making of that decision is removing the option of others in my life to make the same one.

This is the biggest problem with the choice I have asked myself to make, but, while my thoughts on the world ending may be relatively new, this choice has been with me for years, and it is only that my belief that we are moving into a newer, darker age, that has forced me to speed up the process of making that decision.

Thanks a lot for your comment though. It is very clear that it was meant with the best intentions, I just think you are underestimating the necessity for me to make this choice. I expect that more of my mindset will be revealed within the following posts, and perhaps then you will have a better understanding of why I feel that I have only these two choices left available to me.