Seablue Journal: Solitude is not so lonely.

I was struck by an interesting quote on a tweet today concerning solitude.

"A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free." - Arthur Schopenhauer

I've been seeking out solitude. Quietly reading my kindle on the front porch, or even better just sipping coffee and listening to the sounds of the waking world. In those moments I also become awake to myself. I hear the internal voices conversing. I identify which voice speaks life and which speaks death.

When everyone in the household has gone to work, a real sense of freedom infuses me. All my tasks become joyous. I'm doing them for me and my obligation is to me alone. There is no necessity for me to compare my actions to any relationship I might have. I am the only witness. It really is free to be alone with one's self.

I have been in relationships with women. I've had close friendships with my peers. They have their purpose. They are not without merit. All involve some curtailing of individual freedom, however, in the cause of that relationship. Who am I without them? It is nice to have close companions, for a time, but the real test has always been how much I can love my own company. How liberating it can be to be alone! No censorship of my thoughts. No social etiquettes to conform to. No demands upon me but my own.

On the other hand, I have observed many who cannot be alone at all. I've seen people move from one partner to the next without a pause to reflect whether they might not benefit from being alone. I have always suspected that these individuals might not like themselves. If they were to pause and consider solitude for a moment, it might fill them with anxiety or terror. Some are dependent. Some need a crutch for their failings. They fill their time with busy-ness to distract them from their own thoughts. I don't think they like freedom at all.

Many people say they want freedom. It is a commonly spoken platitude, but do they really know what it means? Do they really want to make the sacrifice for freedom? Freedom comes from self-reliance. Freedom comes from an awareness of things that enslave us. Freedom is not the bed partner of convenience. It is the pursuit and realization of our true self in relation to no other. Our soul, alone, in the universe. In finding our independent and true self, we can then possess a greater love for others.

I will leave you with a quote from Osho, that expresses this well.

“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person--without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” - Osho

May your moments alone be your greatest joy, dear reader.