Informationalism 101 - Quantum Suicide Squad - Let's Kill Hitler!

Eve is a great Quantum Mechanic. She doesn't know everything, but she has a knack for cutting through QW/QBS. Her favorite tool for doing this is a razor given to her by Occam, an old friend from highschool. Occam wasn't sure where his razor came from, it had been passed down through his family for generations. But it had a makers mark, an Ouroboros. Occam's razor has an interesting power in that you can give it to someone, but when you do, all other things being equal, you both retain a copy.

Tools always have maker's marks, and a gun is just a tool. So Eve wasn't that surprised when she looked at her new gun and noticed that stamped on the barrel was a maker's mark. It too was an Ouroboros, this one was encircling a symbol meaning planck's constant.

As she was examining the maker's mark, a bright light appeared in the sky. A large bubble and time and space seemed to warp around it. Light shined and bent every which way, it was a beautiful sight. This perfect sphere descended slowly from the still blue sky.

Eventually Jesus hopped out, riding his favorite dinosaur, a T-Rex named Sparky.

"A project my team said would take seven days, took billions of years and now management is threatening to crucify me! Something's wrong with my time machine. Mind taking a look at it?", Jesus said breathlessly.

"Sure I'll have a look. Mind mowing the grass again? It's getting thick. By the way the lawnmower is out back, all gassed up and ready.", Eve replied.

Everyone knows that the easiest way to debug a time machine is to go back in time and kill Hitler. Eve is no exception, so she grabs her gun and her razor and heads out to do a little violence.

On the controller she types in the date April 20th, 1889 and the location Austria. Then she steps into the sphere and pops out right where she meant to "Braunau am Inn". History records it as the place where Hitler first appears. She finds a hotel and gets a room for the night so she can kill Hitler first thing in the morning.

As the sun rose, she dined on a lovely breakfast and eventually went to the home where Hitler first appeared. She ends baby Hitler's life quickly. Unfortunately the gun she used to do it, was wrestled away from her by Mrs Hitler who was understandably upset that Eve had killed baby Hitler. In a fit of rage Mrs Hitler took the gun and quickly gave Eve a case of lead poisoning, filling her full of holes in the process.

Nearing death, she managed to punch in the coordinates to get back home, into the controller. The bubble appeared and she climbed in her time machine and went home. She returned to her normal time and place, alive but just barely.

Jesus saw the time machine arrive just as he was finishing up mowing the grass.
Sensing something was wrong, he rushed over to her and cradled her in his arms.

She smiles with her dying breath and...
Wait a minute! This thought experiment has Jesus...
AND a friggin time machine...
AND a he has a dinosaur...
AND he owes me ...
Just sayin,

There's no way I'm dying here! Alright?

Just then, Jesus used his Super Jesus healing powers to resurrect her, healing all her wounds in the process.

Moments later she thanks Jesus for saving her, then she gets up and goes in the house.
She checks Wikipedia and sees that Hitler is still there, like always and this makes her depressed.

She knows this has now established a paradox, but under MWI all that really happened is that one more Universe has been created. One in which Hitler lived and one in which he died at her hands. Hitler is Quantum Immortal. No matter how many times you try to remove him from causality, the universe just really wants to keep him alive and thus there is no way to remove him from the timeline. All Grandfathers seem to have this magic ability too, no one knows why. But for some reason history MUST be protected at all cost despite there being no special inertial frame, or moment.

She gives up thinking about it and decides to go take a shower.
Can this be solved without Deus ex? Is Hitler really so special he cannot be killed?
Will Jesus ever get his time machine repaired?

To be continued...