Why The Meat Industry Is Completely Moral

in #satire7 years ago (edited)

In this post I am going to divulge the cold, hard truth about why the meat industry is a completely moral part of human society.


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My first reason why the meat industry is moral is because animals are simply too dumb to understand suffering. There's plenty of evidence for this out there. You know, like how lemmings are so stupid they will follow one another off of a cliff, how turkeys are all but absent-minded, and how fish can only remember things for three seconds. Don't forget about how idiotic ostriches believe that burying their heads in the sand will hide their entire bodies from predators, and all the other things you learn growing up in this world. Until animals can do math I can see no reason to look at them as anything other than nutrition for humans. What's the alternative anyway? That because we may be the most intelligent creatures on the planet, it should fall on us to be a use for the animals, rather than continuously finding new ways that they can be a use for us? That's absurd.



My second reason for being an advocate of the meat industry is that you simply cannot live without eating meat -- and dairy. You might be able to survive. But, can you really call existing without eating chicken, lamb, yoghurts and cheese, life? Obviously, if it tastes good, it means it must be something your body needs.


  • We Know Instinctively That It Is Moral


My third reason is that we simply know as a basic instinct that it's okay to kill animals. As babies, we are pushed in our strollers right past the butcher's and down the meat aisles in supermarkets, and at that young and impressionable age, we learn that the chopping up and selling for profit of living creatures is a normal thing. Do you really think that we would subject our children to the severed, bloody or cooked carcasses of once living creatures if it was immoral? Of course we wouldn't, because then that would instill within their minds from a very young age that life has a price, and people are willing to pay for the dead. We wouldn't do that to our kids, so it must be moral.


  • Animals Eat Other Animals So We Can Eat Them


My fourth justification for the meat industry is that animals eat one another in the wild. You know those other mammals, the ones with the crazy big teeth that we do not have, and the really powerful stomach acid that can digest raw meat that we also do not have; they all eat meat, so obviously we should too!


  • The Meat Industry Helps The Economy


My fifth and final reason for supporting the meat industry is that it keeps the economy booming. Not only does the meat industry themselves make a lot of money, but so too does the pharmaceutical industry who clean up on the medical bills or drug sales of the millions who are getting sick from eating meat.

I love it when the drug companies who are killing us all slowly make a good profit, so It's a win-win situation for me.





These are my reasons for supporting the meat industry. What is yours?





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Eh , my dog learned to flush the toilet . What a dumb animal.

Agreed. Dumb dogs..

lol smartarse

Oh this is fantastic. Beautifully subtle.

Honestly, I'm not giving up meat. I enjoy it too much; however, I don't think that's the truly moral stance. I figure before I die I'll be the politically incorrect geezer that refuses to see the importance of becoming a vegetarian.

I think I will be surprised if it is ever considered politically incorrect to eat meat. The meat industry spends too much money lobbying for that to happen.

I truly believe ordinary people with a cause are far more powerful than any lobbyists. We've just become too complacent with how things are, and not enough people care. It seems to be generational though, and I feel each new generation pushes vegetarianism into the mainstream.

There's also the sustainability factor. If environmentalists truly realized the emissions from Cattle I think they'd start turning leaves pretty quickly.

I agree. Particularly in the last 10 years, I've seen an explosion in the vegan/vegetarian scene here and we had the first vegan restaurant in Dublin open its doors last year. Whether it be out of concern for animal welfare, health or environment, people all around me seem to be limiting or excluding meat from their diets. Even the Dollar Vigilante has adopted a vegan lifestyle!

I'm hoping for new societal norms that greatly reduce meat consumption, which feels like perhaps (just IMO) a more realistic way of reaching a society-level compromise on the issue of animal rights.

While animals should not be treated the way they are in nature now... there are arguments to made for the health benefits of lean meats like Turkey, fish, etc - and not all people (medical conditions) can safely eat a vegan diet.

I'm all about the explosion in vegan food though. Great new vegan restaurant opened up near me, my friends & I have all been frequenting the place & it seems to have plenty of customers. This isn't a "hipster" area at all either.

One compromise I could maybe get behind is banning the sale of meat products. Continue to allow hunting and fishing to continue tradition, feed the hold-out carnivores and sometimes help with population control. Stem the overconsumption though.

While I would be delighted never to see another piece of meat, I would not be in favour of banning.
Imposing your values on others by force does not make a more equitable society for any of us. Like @heymattsokol, I too am hopeful that eventually, meat consumption will become an aberrant behaviour, and the wholesale slaughter of animals will be consigned to the annals of history.

Yes, I think I could get behind that too. But this forced breeding, imprisonment and genocide, all for profit, is perhaps the biggest source of suffering in society, and it has to go if we are ever going to be able to transcend our current understanding of humanity.

I believe that too. I just happen to have lost faith in the people's ability to believe it, and therefore it's hard to imagine any true, lasting progress. But, as pessimistic as that sounds, I'm not quite ready to give up on humanity yet, and comments like yours I find to be very inspiring.

Wasn't sure about this until I clicked the articles lol. Yeah processed meat is actually pretty gross when you just think about how it's made.

I thought the tag might give it away that it was going to be sarcastic. There's really no way anyone can justify the meat industry, especially in its current condition.

I don't like the fact that the meat industry often holds animals in sadistic conditions. Killing them for food - well, on that I mostly agree with you - animals kill each other and they are gonna' die anyways, so dying as part of a food chain is quite a natural phenomena.

It would appear that you have either misunderstood this post, or simply read nothing other than the title before commenting.

Now THAT is satire, Applause!

I am just about two watch the premiere...and I finally feel the excitement, GOT. GOT. Okay, that's annoying, haha.

You're too funny, if you would have just posted one a day, you could have had a post up everyday since you've been back :)

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