A Declaration of War (Keyboard War Only)

I was actually intending to work on my secret project this weekend, but after reading an article on the onion that brought me much disgust, I have decided to take a short break in order to instigate a world - wide web - war.

Though I am undoubtedly a ninja, my eyes are open to the fact that this is not a war I can fight alone. So I suppose you can look upon this post as not only a declaration of war, but also a call to arms directed at my satirically inclined future allies who will hopefully be reading this right now - and now. (and now)

You see, my fellow satirists, our precious art has been under attack for some time. For centuries, satire has been the preferred medium of communication for those looking to inform others of the truths they have been avoiding. It has served as a subtle means of slapping ignorant folk around the face with their own self-deceptions, by introducing controversial notions of reality under the guise of superficial comedy.

Satire then, you could say, was an ally in the war against bullshit. Now, however, satire has been hijacked by agents of bullshit, and is being used as a means for distributing said bullshit to the masses. They have taken our beautiful white-hatted muse and corrupted it, turning it into a weapon of mental subversion. I cannot abide by this, and neither should any self-respecting dabbler of the art.

The article that incited this war was about vaccines. The author attempts to paint anyone who has not vaccinated their children as idiots, and in the most distasteful of fashions.

I have a lot to say about this article, and so, I will be breaking it down line by line, flaw by flaw, in a post very soon. I will then write my own satirical piece on vaccinations and the stupidity that surrounds the topic- as it should have been done by the author of this one.

But it does not stop there, because this is the second article on the onion I have read in recent months that has attempted to repurpose satire as a weapon against thought. This to me is evidence enough that the website is not making enough of an effort to protect the virtue of our precious satire. And so I will be keeping a close eye on the site in future so that I can respond to their more distasteful attempts at satire in a timely fashion.

If any fellow satirists would like to join me on the front lines, use the tag #theshunioning when responding to the onion's "satirical" articles.

It's time to take back Satire. Who's with me?

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