***Disclaimer*** Please read before you upvote #ComedyOpenMic round 7

in #satire7 years ago (edited)

Please read the following statement carefully before you click on the upvote button below.

Disclaimer

@nobyeni has made every attempt to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information provided on this website collection of rants and partially funny and sometimes even ridiculously serious posts which from now on will be referred to as a 'blog'.

However, the information is provided “as is” without warranty of any kind. Please note that not even a bad and useless warranty is provided.

@nobyeni does not accept any responsibility or liability for the accuracy, content, completeness, legality, or reliability of the information contained on this website. Any other types of responsibility are also not accepted, please do not send me your babies.

No warranties, promises and/or representations of any kind, expressed or implied, are given as to the nature, standard, accuracy or otherwise of the information provided in this website nor to the suitability or otherwise of the information to your particular circumstances. Which basically means, no complaining and whining that you don't feel like you're really addressed or somehow included in any way. BTW, this is not a promise either.

I cannot and will not guarantee that this website is free from computer viruses or anything else that has destructive properties. What is guaranteed however, is the destructive nature of thoughts that may or may not have an influence on your mental well-being -- this is not a promise either.

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I shall not be liable for any loss or damage of whatever nature (direct, indirect, consequential, or other) whether arising in contract, tort or otherwise, which may arise as a result of your use of (or inability to use) this blog, or from your use of (or failure to use) the information on this blog. I am not sure what 'tort' means, but the 'otherwise' seems like a blanket-enough statement to cover all the necessities here. BTW, failure to use the information on this blog will result in death severe punishment to be determined ad hoc.

This blog provides links to other blog owned by third parties. The content of such third party blogs is not within my control, and I cannot and will not take responsibility for the information or content thereon. If anyone would like to give me control over their blog, please leave a comment and I will gladly take over your account and your wallet, therewith clearing you of all responsibility of future posts.

Links to such third party sites are not to be taken as an endorsement by @nobyeni of the third party site, or any products promoted, offered or sold on the third party site, nor that such sites are free from computer viruses or anything else that has destructive properties. Except if I resteem posts, especially posts by @diebitch or @comedyopenmic, those should be taken as endorsements although I refute any possible responsibility of any outcome of this endorsements. All the laughs are on them.

I cannot and do not take responsibility for the collection or use of personal data from any third party site. Personal data will however be collected and used as I see fit.

In addition, I will not accept responsibility for the accuracy of third party advertisements. Advertisements however are never to be trusted, which is inadvertedly what the word advertisement means. I hereby also congratulate both @anikekirsten and @jayna as they have been selected to advertise their funny side in a post to enter the @comedyopenmic which has now entered into round 7.

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Here an overview of more fiction/short stories and poetry by @nobyeni.

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wait, you do know the whole point of disclaimers is skipping them and clicking a button - upvote - right? well i can't be held liable for this action

Yes, I know it's a bit confusing.
That was the intention. Frame people into simply upvoting to get it over with.

and i taught i was smart. smh

Excuse me, I have a complaint.
I read the disclaimer and clicked to agree with the terms and conditions but I didn't get access to the post.

There was no mention of a paywall and now I feel cheated. I would like my time back please. And would greatly appreciate it if you could deposit it into the usual Swiss account.

Thank you

Negativer cannot be held responsible for the content of this comment.

Ok, fair enough.
But I will hold you responsible for the style, the timing, and possibly even the lack of content of that comment.

AnikeKirsten cannot be held liable for the effectiveness, of lack thereof, of their advertisement. AnikeKirsten also hereby accepts, with no guarantee or commitment, the nomination, as it appears, by Nobyeni.

Ani, Ani, Ani. We want you back Ani. You blazed through our contest and disappeared with naught but a puff of smoke and some prizes to note your presence. Come back to us and do another entry. We enjoy a laugh.

Haha, I'll be sure to scribble and work something this week. Life got in the way last week, as usual.

Awesome, scribbles are the best

Ok, duly noted.

what have we come to people.....is this how we're all going to act when Steem gets to $100?

👍👍& half - i suppose if i don't upvote, i'm not legally liable?

p.s. just kiddie wiating for my VP > 95% so i can give some fat flagsno-disclaimer...ahem i mean upvotes

I have collected your personal data and I will act accordingly, once your VP<5% to avoid flagrant flagging.

really, you know about my favorite kebab sauce?

diebitch .....what have you been telling this women!

I take no responsibility for anything due to the predetermined nature of causality.

I will assign some rereading of Kant and leave you to it.

*Rocking quietly in the corner: 'Don't make a Kant/can't pun, don't make a Kant/can't pun, don't make a....'

I can not be responsible for anything, whatsoever precoffee ingestion and fortification. Should my body determine the level of coffeeness is insufficient I cannot and will not be held responsible for any said actions commiserate or in cahoots with a determined lack of coffee consumption henceforth indefinitely forever more and indubitably without question.

So there! Not my fault!

Not your fault. You're dismissed from class. Please go sit in the corner and think of your un-responsibility (aka irresponsibility).

Love the disclaimers!! This post is a crack-up, @nobyeni! I missed this nomination for some reason, although I did see the one from @therosepatch, and I posted my comedy open mic piece yesterday. You guys are both so sweet to think of me! And it's especially heartwarming that you believe I can write humor. Hugs!!

I believe you can yes... let me add that to my list of reasons I'm funny...

I'm sorry. I didn't read it. Upvoted you anyway. Oops.

my enjoyment of this does not mean i must like you.

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