"Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" began in 1994. These days it should be "Six Degrees of Russia"

Am I paranoid that I look under my welcome mat at my door to make sure there are no Russians hiding there? How about when I meet people is it paranoid that my first question is "Hi, I think I might be pleased to meet you. Are you, your family, your employer, or someone you casually interact with in any way whatsoever related to Russia?"

Is it odd that I have very few acquaintances these days?

It began for me when a few days after Obama and Hillary both said the elections were not compromised and that Trump better honor the outcome that Trump won the election and both Obama, Hillary, and all the news began talking about Russia.

I knew that McCarthy was right and that the Russians had invaded our country and controlled it all. I only briefly wondered if we would have had the same narrative if Hillary had won and her pre-printed Madam President Newsweek magazines complete with descriptions of HOW she won could have been handed out as factual.

Source

The other day I remembered the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon that was spawned in 1994 and grew into a phenomenon. Does Kevin Bacon have anything to do with Russians? Should the game instead be Six Degrees of Russia?

It is nearing 11 months since the Russian story first came up. I haven't seen any evidence that really sticks out as different from any other administration in the past. Yet, they keep telling me about all this evidence. Even though they haven't actually presented anything they keep saying it is there, and they keep focusing on anyone and everything.

They must have a reason. They are really intelligent people. They tell me there is evidence so there must be.

I know that Seth Rich was supposedly a disgruntled DNC IT member and he was mysteriously killed and the investigators told to stand down on his investigation. I know that Wikileaks offered a $20,000 reward for information related to his death which was unprecedented from him. I know that Wikileaks released the Information from Russia, so it couldn't have been from Seth Rich.

I know that more evidence was supposedly found further showing it came from Seth Rich and not Russia. That's a lie. It was Russia. The media keeps telling me. I mean we have had Flynn resign over potentially talking to a Russian and not disclosing it properly. We have the millions being spent to investigate every little aspect of Russian collusion. There must be something there.

For that money maybe they can check behind my blinds to see if there are any Russians hiding there.

I haven't seen any evidence. They say it is there. So it must be. They wouldn't spend millions and waste almost a year already if there wasn't something to it. That is totally not something that would be done. I protest the people who say they are doing this just because they are butthurt and panicing because things did not go as planned and that the media didn't get to pick our president.

I mean the media is brilliant. It is not fake. They should pick all my politicians for me. Then I won't have to vote at all. I also won't have to worry about Russia as the media and the 5 corporations that own it surely won't have anything to do with Russia.

I mean before this happened I thought Russia was coming along great since they were no longer communist. I had even met some of their citizens before and thought they were pretty cool people.

Now due to the media and the focus on whether people remotely have any interaction with Russians I realize that every Russian out there must be a spy.

Did you look in your closet today? There might be a Russian hiding there. By the way if you read it this far and for some reason you still think most of this post is serious please note the first tag. #satire (yes, this means I was writing an Onion style piece)