I could make a dragging long comment on this , i won't .
I had about the same mindset true live . i lost it all , i did not see or hear from my kids the last 4 years . I just hope you can keep it together on the long run . I think you can , cause i am just a hippy without a gun ;-)

Shitty spiritual advice ? how about . Keep sight of the inner child inside and of the people close to you . because the inner child is the most honest part in any human ;-)