The Greatest Human Ever to Live

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Supposing I were to tell you that I’m the greatest human ever to live. Wait, hear me out!

I promise that if you believe me, you’ll receive a fantastical reward beyond your wildest dreams. It just happens I cannot show you the reward right now because you receive it after you die.

If you don’t believe it, or start believing but then stop later on, you will suffer a horrific punishment. It also just so happens I cannot prove that to you either, because like the reward, you receive it after you die.

You can know I am telling the truth because I have made many predictions that came true. For example back in 1998, I predicted that on September 11th, 2001, terrorists would fly airplanes into the World Trade Center towers and Pentagon.

I also correctly predicted the outcome of every presidential election from my childhood to 2016. You can be assured that I predicted these events accurately and well ahead of time, because it says right here that I did. There is no way to fake this, so it proves I have foreknowledge of the future.

What’s more, I performed many astonishing feats which defy the laws of physics. You cannot personally see me do this, but rest assured, there were 500 people that witnessed it, they just decided not to write anything down about it and I’m not going to specify their names. There is no way to falsify such incredible feats, so this further proves my legitimacy.

Some people might tell you I’m a liar. They might show you purported evidence contrary to my claims. But that so-called evidence is all fabricated by an invisible trickster who hates you. The trickster wants you to suffer the horrible punishment, and doesn’t want you to receive the fantastical reward.

This trickster controls the minds of people who dispute my teachings and call me a liar, so don’t listen to them. Likewise, pre-emptively ignore any supposed evidence contrary to what I have told you that they present, because it’s only a sinister attempt to lead you astray.

If you want to ensure that everybody you love receives the fantastical reward along with you and doesn’t instead suffer the horrific punishment, you should go and try to persuade them to believe that I am the greatest person ever to live, and to keep believing that until they die.

There isn’t much time left, because the end of the world is coming. I won’t say exactly how soon though. What I will say is that if there are wars, rumors of wars, hunger, disease, and natural disasters in the world, these are all signs that it’s very close. Perhaps this makes it seem as if it’s always imminent, but that’s just coincidental.

When the end arrives, anybody who still does not believe I am the greatest person ever to live will be automatically condemned to the horrific punishment. So, if you are a good hearted person, naturally you will want to go out into the world and convince as many people as possible to believe I am the greatest person ever to live, so they can receive the reward instead of the punishment.

Do you believe what I have told you? If you say I am lying, then what might I be trying to accomplish with these lies?

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