There’s no vaccine or pill that will stop a psychological manipulator from exploiting your unprocessed feelings of guilt, shame, or self-doubt. A psychological manipulator has an adept understanding of human behavior and motivations, comparable to a trained psychotherapist. The difference is, they use this knowledge in a completely different way than a therapist does; a way that is self-serving and void of integrity.

Identifying a manipulator

The first step in your immunization is that you must discriminate between who is a manipulator and who is not. This is where it’s super important that you learn to be honest with yourself. Make sure that you do not apply this label of “manipulator” unfairly or lightly. A manipulator will exhibit a habitual pattern of obfuscating or misrepresenting the truth about their own words and actions, and also about yours. Everyone gets things wrong and makes mistakes occasionally, but when the dishonesty becomes the rule rather than the exception, that’s when you know you are dealing with a manipulator.

Remember, a manipulator is not simply someone who disagrees with your opinions about politics or religion and vocalizes them, therefore making you uncomfortable. We must come to realize that the underlying facts and evidence itself is the only thing that matters, and that a manipulator disregards facts and evidence in favor of a “narrative”, or what is also called an “agenda”.

People in all parts of the imperial political machine claim to care about facts and evidence. However, anyone who observes politics closely knows that at the highest levels they are all in the business of selling fictional narratives that bias people in favor of the Military Industrial Complex (AKA: War Machine). Producers of entertainment and advertising then pick up these narratives and run with them. That’s why you never see successful media personalities who are openly and consistently critical of the Military Defense Industry, and its propaganda narratives.

A manipulator is someone who sees other people as only a means to an end. It is someone who sees a debate as a zero sum game to be won or lost via tactics and strategy, regardless of the objective veracity of the winning argument. In other words, Perception matters much more to them than Truth.

Understanding a person’s motivation for why they do what they do can take time. Try to identify emotional patterns in yourself and in others that lead to unhealthy results (fear, shame, guilt, paranoia, or envy). The bottom line is that the more you come to face your own emotional baggage with a smile and a laugh, the more immune you will be to manipulation.

Embracing the path of self-discovery

Another key to avoiding manipulation is learning to be open, honest, and assertive about what your motivations are. Let there be no misunderstandings about what motivates you, but also be willing to look back and reflect on times when you were motivated by the wrong things. During this process of laying bare our own motivations for doing things, we often discover that almost all of us have played the part of manipulator at one point or another.

Again, a manipulator is not someone whose motivations are different from yours, but rather someone whose motivations are hidden or misrepresented by their own ego. A person who cannot be completely honest about their motivation or intent can never truly be worthy of your trust. Learn to communicate with the manipulators in your life in a way that politely signals to them that you are wise to the dishonesty of their behavior, and that you won’t be affected by it. Then give them the space to figure it out on their own.

Don’t let your inner guilt-driven caregiver convince you that it is your duty to “fix” or “help” someone who is not ready to face their own internal issues. The most productive thing you can do is develop your own authentic commitment to honesty, truth, and integrity. That way, when you encounter a person who is only pretending to care about these values, you’ll be able to know the difference. Let your inner knowledge of that commitment be the anchor that keeps you from getting pulled into the current of believing a false narrative about yourself.

Let your failures define you as equally as your successes, and be able to laugh about the failures. Free yourself from the limitation of always having to present a polished image of yourself, one that is “acceptable” to as many people as possible. It is not worth spending an ounce of your energy trying to shape the perceptions others have about you. Only try to shape the truth of your everyday existence, and be with people who make a conscious effort to understand that truth.