Being Single Should Be A Choice. Contributed by @Olawalium

Sometimes, we all want to be defined by others. We feel once we have no one to fall back on, it means we are failing. This is a wrong way to think. Being single should be a choice and it doesn't have to define how people see you or how your life turns out.

Most of the time we feel being single is wrong because we see people around us in relationships. Being in a relationship is one thing, being happy is another. There are so many people who are in a relationship but they are single.


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Never let people make you feel something is wrong with you because you haven’t found that person who complements you...yet. Be single by choice, be in a relationship by choice, and only then can you give your best.

Many think something is wrong with them when they have no one to call their own. They feel the need to be identified with someone so they can feel complete or whole, but in the end, they still have a void left in their heart and they keep searching for what’s not lost. In the end, they sabotage that relationship and they are back to where they started from, and they keep repeating the cycle.


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It is a bad state to be in because, in whatever relationship that person finds himself or herself, such person will always be at the mercy of his or her partner. Their partner sometimes will put forth such a feeling as if they are being shown a favour just by dating them or being with them.

...to be continued…

Thank you for your time.


My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.

Still me,

My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.


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Being single by choice, I have much more time to spend with the humans I already love, and feel so much more connected to them as a result. Being in a relationship is a huge commitment for anyone, and I have seen time and again how friends and even family members can fall off the map once they start dating someone. If you're just waiting for your next relationship to happen, you're already one more degree of detached from that inner circle before the relationship even happens. I prefer being in the present moment instead.I'm in my 20s, and seeing how much I have changed even in the past few years reminds me that I have some significant room for growth. Every other week I recognize some kind of reaction to a situation that I want to curb or some kind of habit I want to kick, but all of those motivations are intrinsic and something that I want to do for myself. I think those kinds of changes are much more lasting and meaningful than changing for the sake of getting into a relationship, for the sake of what you think will appeal to someone else.

I wish i can throw you a brotherly hug right now. Absolutely, the time to even work on ourselves is when we are single because being in a relationship requires a lot of commitment. Many people just want you to jump into a relationship without realizing the work it requires and the efforts it entails.

You nailed it right there when you said:

I think those kinds of changes are much more lasting and meaningful than changing for the sake of getting into a relationship, for the sake of what you think will appeal to someone else.

I totally love this. Brilliant. Thanks for this and sharing a bit of yourself bro.

We feel once we have no one to fall back on, it means we are failing

Actually, we all want someone to lean on, most especially when the going seems not to be palatable or right and when it is difficult to find someone to rely on, we tend to think and feel bad as though we have been let down, which shouldn't be.

Being single should always be a choice we have to make but people in the community always attributes single woman and man has-been irresponsible, whereas we all have our own opinion and view why we haven't gotten marry yet or change our marital status. In most cases, we are influenced by the people around us most especially our friends when they seem to have mingled while we remain single. And because we don't want to be alone, just to be known with a guy or lady we will now try to compromise which always don't end well, like you have said, not everyone is relationship is actually happy, it's better to remind single than to be held accountable in sorrow through marriage.

Very well. They see single people as being irresponsible and that is wrong. Relationship status shouldn't determine how progressive one is in life. So much societal pressures and it doesn't help. Before going into any relationship, a lot has to be involved: mental, physical, financial, spiritual and even moral. A lot don't think about all of these. The preparedness of the individual should be considered as well.

Thanks a lot bro.

What alot fail to understand or are trying to shy away from is that there is an issue of INFERIORITY COMPLEX with them. Honestly speaking @olawalium being single is the best way i have ever lived my life and without fail it has nothing to do with failure or without accomplishing anything.
NOTE: YOU DONT NEED ANYONE TO BE FULFILLED.
Singlehood is choice though annd such it shouldn't be "Criminalized or TAGGED " as being OFF. Happiness is Key in whatever you decision or choice is.
Thanks for sharing.

Still Elisedaniels...Love for the Gospel.

Absolutely! Happiness is key. Most people are fond of tagging those who are older and single to be having some spiritual issue. It could be a personal choice from such a person and trying to know what the problem is, without adding unnecessary pressure will help such a person and such person should be happy with self first, before sharing such happiness.

Thanks a lot

You are right thats most people's thoughts. I am was a victim too, i thought i was incomplete without having girlfriend until you told me that "you would always see better ones " the day i was trying to woo i know i did not like talkless of loving her

Its good to be with someone but i really love my life for now cos i didnt have anyone that would disturb me with too much calls or whatapp messages. I can think straight, not thinking of someone that can just dump you at any time

I am glad you listened...and that speaks a lot about the fact that you are always willing to learn. I always admire the fact that you ask questions when you are confused. That kind of attitude will save you from a lot of trouble.

We shouldn't be defined by our relationship because as much as it is important, i don't think that should be anyone's life's goal. It should be a bonus.

This is the time you can enjoy your "me" space because if you skip it, when you are in a relationship, you will always seek for it.

Thanks as always brother.

I've missed my beloved @communitycoin so much, I was just too busy in this just concluded week , so I was unable to do so much online, I'm back now... Lol

Thank you for this intelligent word of yours @olawalium, it is always good and better not to enter into any relationship as a result of pressure, take time to understand or discover yourself and your vision before you look for whom you will walk with.

Most time, when people discover themselves in the relationship, it could lead to breakup that you highlighted the other time, especially when the partner you choose as a result of pressure or fear is not going the same direction with you.

Looking forward for the second part.

thank you @olawalium and @communitycoin

Thanks a lot for your valuable contribution as usual. @communitycoin missed you too, I'm sure.

Welcome back and i hope you rested well enough after your busy week?

Have a blessed week.

Cool post. So, is that your girlfriends picture?

Would you like to snatch her from him if she happened to be his girlfriend? Lol....

I'm seriously thinking about it. Shhhh

Lol, let's see if he's interested in answering you... Smile

yes, I 'm agree with you Being a bachelor or single is sometimes it feel about your freedom..

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@communitycoin heart ♥ touching ♥️

Thank you.

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