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RE: I don't want to have an affair
Most people are not emotionally mature enough to survive an open marriage. They just aren't. Most are just too possessive, too insecure. They will always wonder,,,,,are they better, does he/she love them more, etc. One thing I do think........you have made up your mind that you need it, you can't stop thinking about it. Sexual wants are a powerful thing. If you aren't strong enough, it will suck you in like a vortex. Resist the kavorka. Resist the lure of the animal.
Those are valid questions and concerns. I have seen counseling for couples who want to confront those issues and determine whether the foundation of their relationship can handle the shake this type of shift would make. Many marriages don't survive. What I have learned from friends in this situation is that it is based 100% on communication.
Communication is key. The people here who think marriage cannot be open may have a bias with faith, religion, or ignorance to the fact that other cultures view things differently.
There is no such thing as an open marriage. You lose the value of marriage as soon as it becomes open.
I disagree. I think we all get to define our marriage commitment, and that happens within each union.
You only say that because you want it to be ok. I bet if your husband told you the day of your wedding he would possibly want to venture out down the road, you wouldn't have married him.
And how do you know what her husband may or may not think? - I think it's great and all that you're having your opinion but the world doesn't revolve around the small confines of your own little head.
Perhaps if you opened it up a little and let loose of that control you may see the world a bit differently? :)
Just a suggestion. No offence.
I know a few couples who do have open marriages, and they are happier for it. Most of them had the arrangement before they were married though. As for the ones that later decided to try, they talked about it and did consider if divorce would be an option. They didn't divorce because it wasn't in both of their interests. I do know a few couples that tried an open marriage and it defiantly didn't work either.
Defining your marriage commitment is one thing. Letting another man park his car in your special parking place, that's a whole different commitment. What you are looking for is to have sex with other men and for your husband to be ok with it. If the shoe was on the other foot what would the outcome be?
Park his car. Love it.
The value of marriage is relative and subjective. Marriage that is just based on sexual monogamy is shallow and doomed even without infidelity because it isn't based on more important values like honesty, trust, commitment, compassion, adventure and friendship. Would you also consider masturbation a detriment to marriage?